I was a government major,

我主修政治學

which means I had to write a lot of papers.

這表示我必須要寫很多論文

Now, when a normal student writes a paper,

一般學生在寫論文時

they might spread the work out a little like this.

大概會做像這樣的進度表

So, you know --

你們也知道嘛...

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

you get started maybe a little slowly,

一開始慢慢來

but you get enough done in the first week

但第一週能完成夠多進度

that, with some heavier days later on,

後來工作量重了一點

everything gets done, things stay civil.

但事情總會順利完成

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And I would want to do that like that.

我也想要這樣子做

That would be the plan.

計畫本來就應該像這樣

I would have it all ready to go,

我會把一切通通計畫好

but then, actually, the paper would come along,

結果呢，等到真的該寫的時候

and then I would kind of do this.

我的計畫會變成這樣

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And that would happen every single paper.

每一次寫論文都是這樣

But then came my 90-page senior thesis,

但終於輪到了我 90 頁的畢業論文

a paper you're supposed to spend a year on.

這論文照理應該花一年的時間寫

And I knew for a paper like that, my normal work flow was not an option.

我知道面對這種論文， 不能用平常的工作方式來做

It was way too big a project.

因為這實在是太大的工程了

So I planned things out,

所以我好好地計畫了一下

and I decided I kind of had to go something like this.

決定要這樣安排

This is how the year would go.

這一年大概要長這樣

So I'd start off light,

所以剛開始做一點就好

and I'd bump it up in the middle months,

中間幾個月增加一點進度

and then at the end, I would kick it up into high gear.

最後，我會火力全開

Just like a little staircase.

就跟樓梯一樣嘛

How hard could it be to walk up the stairs?

走樓梯是有多難勒？

No big deal, right?

輕而易舉，對吧？

But then, the funniest thing happened.

可是，好笑的事情發生了

Those first few months?

前面幾個月

They came and went,

突然就飛走了

and I couldn't quite do stuff.

我根本做不了什麼

So we had an awesome new revised plan.

所以我就修改成超棒的新進度表

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And then --

然後...

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

But then those middle months actually went by,

然後中間的月份也飛走了

and I didn't really write words,

我真的也沒擠出幾個字

and so we were here.

所以就變成這樣

And then two months turned into one month,

然後兩個月變成一個月

which turned into two weeks.

之後剩兩週

And one day I woke up

有天我醒來

with three days until the deadline,

發現只剩三天就要交論文了

still not having written a word,

我還是連一個字都沒生出來

and so I did the only thing I could:

所以我能做的只有一件事：

I wrote 90 pages over 72 hours,

我用 72 小時生出 90 頁的論文

pulling not one but two all-nighters --

不只熬夜了一天，是連續兩天──

humans are not supposed to pull two all-nighters --

人真的不能連熬兩天夜──

sprinted across campus,

完成後我衝到校園

dove in slow motion,

慢動作往前撲

and got it in just at the deadline.

正好在最後一刻趕上

I thought that was the end of everything.

我以為這樣就結束了

But a week later I get a call,

但一週後，我接到電話

and it's the school.

是學校打來的

And they say, "Is this Tim Urban?"

他們說：「請問你是提姆．厄本嗎？」

And I say, "Yeah."

我說：「對。」

And they say, "We need to talk about your thesis."

他們說：「我們得談談你的論文。」

And I say, "OK."

我說：「好。」

And they say,

他們說：

"It's the best one we've ever seen."

「我們從沒見過這麼棒的論文。」

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

(Applause)

（掌聲）

That did not happen.

並沒有發生這種事

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

It was a very, very bad thesis.

我寫得超級無敵爛

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I just wanted to enjoy that one moment when all of you thought,

我只是想要享受一下你們心想：

"This guy is amazing!"

「這傢伙太厲害了吧！」那瞬間

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

No, no, it was very, very bad.

並沒有發生這種事，我寫得很糟

Anyway, today I'm a writer-blogger guy.

總之，我現在是個部落客

I write the blog Wait But Why.

部落格名稱是「等一下但是為什麼」

And a couple of years ago, I decided to write about procrastination.

幾年前，我決定開始寫拖拖拉拉的事

My behavior has always perplexed the non-procrastinators around me,

我身邊不會拖拖拉拉的朋友 總對我的行為感到非常不解

and I wanted to explain to the non-procrastinators of the world

所以我想解釋給全世界 所有不會拖拖拉拉的人

what goes on in the heads of procrastinators,

看我們愛拖的人腦袋裡在想什麼

and why we are the way we are.

以及我們為何如此

Now, I had a hypothesis

現在呢，我有個假設

that the brains of procrastinators were actually different

那就是拖延者的大腦

than the brains of other people.

其實跟其它人不一樣

And to test this, I found an MRI lab

為了證實這點， 我找到一個核磁共振實驗室

that actually let me scan both my brain

同意讓我掃描自己的大腦

and the brain of a proven non-procrastinator,

以及一位不會拖延者的大腦

so I could compare them.

然後比較兩者的差異

I actually brought them here to show you today.

我今天特地把掃描結果帶來給你們看

I want you to take a look carefully to see if you can notice a difference.

請仔細看看有沒有不一樣

I know that if you're not a trained brain expert,

如果你們不是專家的話， 可能沒有那麼容易看出來

it's not that obvious, but just take a look, OK?

不過就稍微看一下好嗎？

So here's the brain of a non-procrastinator.

這是不會拖延者的大腦

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Now ...

然後呢...

here's my brain.

這是我的大腦

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

There is a difference.

果然不一樣吧

Both brains have a Rational Decision-Maker in them,

兩個大腦裡都有理性決策者

but the procrastinator's brain

但拖延者的大腦

also has an Instant Gratification Monkey.

同時還有一隻及時行樂猴

Now, what does this mean for the procrastinator?

這對拖延者來說是什麼意思？

Well, it means everything's fine until this happens.

在這種狀況發生前，一切都沒事

[This is a perfect time to get some work done.] [Nope!]

[現在是該做事的最好時機喔。] [才不是！]

So the Rational Decision-Maker will make the rational decision

所以理性決策者會做出理性決定

to do something productive,

該做點事情了

but the Monkey doesn't like that plan,

但猴子並不喜歡這決定

so he actually takes the wheel,

所以就搶過方向盤

and he says, "Actually, let's read the entire Wikipedia page

然後說：「不然我們看完維基百科上

of the Nancy Kerrigan/ Tonya Harding scandal,

花式滑冰選手南茜·克里根 和譚雅·哈丁的整篇醜聞報導吧

because I just remembered that that happened.

因為我剛剛想到有這件事。」

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Then --

然後...

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Then we're going to go over to the fridge,

然後我們再去看一下冰箱

to see if there's anything new in there since 10 minutes ago.

看看跟十分鐘前有什麼不一樣

After that, we're going to go on a YouTube spiral

再來去看看 YouTube 上的一連串影片

that starts with videos of Richard Feynman talking about magnets

就從理察．費曼談論磁鐵開始

and ends much, much later with us watching interviews

一路看看看看看

with Justin Bieber's mom.

最後看到小賈斯丁他媽的訪問影片

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

"All of that's going to take a while,

「這一切都需要花點時間

so we're not going to really have room on the schedule for any work today.

所以今天沒有辦法做正事了

Sorry!"

拍謝啦！」

(Sigh)

（嘆）

Now, what is going on here?

所以到底發生什麼事？

The Instant Gratification Monkey does not seem like a guy

你應該不會希望及時行樂猴

you want behind the wheel.

控制方向盤

He lives entirely in the present moment.

他只活在當下

He has no memory of the past, no knowledge of the future,

他沒有過去的記憶， 不曉得未來會怎樣

and he only cares about two things:

他只在乎兩件事：

easy and fun.

輕鬆、有趣

Now, in the animal world, that works fine.

在動物的世界裡，這樣做完全行得通

If you're a dog

如果你是隻狗

and you spend your whole life doing nothing other than easy and fun things,

一輩子只做輕鬆有趣的事，不做別的

you're a huge success!

那你就成功了啊！

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And to the Monkey,

對猴子來說

humans are just another animal species.

人類只是另一種動物物種

You have to keep well-slept, well-fed and propagating into the next generation,

只要睡飽、吃好，繁殖下一代就行了

which in tribal times might have worked OK.

這在以前部落時代還可以

But, if you haven't noticed, now we're not in tribal times.

不過，如果你沒注意到的話， 我們時代已經不一樣了

We're in an advanced civilization, and the Monkey does not know what that is.

我們處在先進文明的世界， 但猴子不知道這是什麼情況

Which is why we have another guy in our brain,

所以我們腦中才有另一個

the Rational Decision-Maker,

理性決策者存在

who gives us the ability to do things no other animal can do.

他讓我們有能力 做其它動物做不到的事

We can visualize the future.

我們可以想像未來；

We can see the big picture.

可以綜觀大局；

We can make long-term plans.

可以做長遠規劃

And he wants to take all of that into account.

他想要把這些都納入考慮

And he wants to just have us do

所以他只要我們做

whatever makes sense to be doing right now.

當下合理的事情就好

Now, sometimes it makes sense

有時候

to be doing things that are easy and fun,

做輕鬆有趣的事情很合理

like when you're having dinner or going to bed

像是吃晚餐或是上床睡覺

or enjoying well-earned leisure time.

或是享受應得的休閒時光

That's why there's an overlap.

這就是為什麼有中間重疊的部分

Sometimes they agree.

有時候他們意見會達成一致

But other times, it makes much more sense

但其它時候，做比較難的事情

to be doing things that are harder and less pleasant,

或是比較不好玩的事合理許多

for the sake of the big picture.

這是為了大局著想

And that's when we have a conflict.

這就是發生衝突的時候了

And for the procrastinator,

對拖延者來說

that conflict tends to end a certain way every time,

衝突幾乎每次都會以同樣的方式作結

leaving him spending a lot of time in this orange zone,

讓他有很多時間待在橘色這區

an easy and fun place that's entirely out of the Makes Sense circle.

既輕鬆又好玩的地方， 可是完全在合理區之外

I call it the Dark Playground.

我稱之為暗黑遊樂場

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Now, the Dark Playground is a place

暗黑遊樂場這個地方

that all of you procrastinators out there know very well.

是所有拖延者都心有戚戚焉的

It's where leisure activities happen

這是不該悠哉時

at times when leisure activities are not supposed to be happening.

卻做悠哉的事情時，會出現的地方。

The fun you have in the Dark Playground

暗黑遊樂場的玩樂並非真的玩樂

isn't actually fun, because it's completely unearned,

因為完全不是努力賺來的

and the air is filled with guilt, dread, anxiety, self-hatred --

而且空氣中瀰漫著內疚、 擔心、焦慮、自我厭惡──

all of those good procrastinator feelings.

所有這些拖延的良好感受

And the question is, in this situation, with the Monkey behind the wheel,

問題是，在這種情況下， 由猴子掌舵時

how does the procrastinator ever get himself over here to this blue zone,

拖延者要怎麼過到藍色這個

a less pleasant place, but where really important things happen?

比較不好玩，但重要事情發生的地方？

Well, turns out the procrastinator has a guardian angel,

嗯，原來拖延者有個守護天使

someone who's always looking down on him and watching over him

在最黑暗的時候

in his darkest moments --

永遠照看他、守護他的人──

someone called the Panic Monster.

這個人就叫做恐慌怪獸

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Now, the Panic Monster is dormant most of the time,

恐慌怪獸大多時候都在休眠

but he suddenly wakes up anytime a deadline gets too close

但等到交期接近時會突然醒來

or there's danger of public embarrassment,

或是快要遇到公開出糗、

a career disaster or some other scary consequence.

事業危機或其它恐怖結果時驚醒

And importantly, he's the only thing the Monkey is terrified of.

更重要的是，他是猴子 唯一會懼怕的東西

Now, he became very relevant in my life pretty recently,

他最近跟我的生活息息相關

because the people of TED reached out to me about six months ago

因為 TED 的人大概半年前聯絡我

and invited me to do a TED Talk.

邀請我來 TED 演講

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Now, of course, I said yes.

當然，我說好

It's always been a dream of mine to have done a TED Talk in the past.

「以前」做 TED 演講 一直都是我的夢想

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

(Applause)

（掌聲）

But in the middle of all this excitement,

興奮之餘

the Rational Decision-Maker seemed to have something else on his mind.

理性決策者似乎心事重重

He was saying, "Are we clear on what we just accepted?

他說：「我們知道剛剛答應了什麼嗎？

Do we get what's going to be now happening one day in the future?

我們知道未來某一天會發生什麼事嗎？

We need to sit down and work on this right now."

我們需要坐下來， 現在就著手進行這件事。」

And the Monkey said, "Totally agree, but let's just open Google Earth

然後猴子說：「完全同意， 不過我們先打開 Google Earth

and zoom in to the bottom of India, like 200 feet above the ground,

縮放到印度底部大概地平面上兩百呎

and we're gonna scroll up for two and a half hours til we get to the top of the country,

然後花兩個半小時， 一直看到印度頂部

so we can get a better feel for India."

這樣才能好好了解一下整個印度。」

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

So that's what we did that day.

所以我們那天就做了這件事

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

As six months turned into four and then two and then one,

六個月變成四個月， 又變成兩個月，然後一個月，

the people of TED decided to release the speakers.

TED 的人決定公佈講者名單

And I opened up the website, and there was my face

我打開網站後，看到我自己的臉

staring right back at me.

就在我正前方

And guess who woke up?

這時候，猜猜看誰醒了？

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

So the Panic Monster starts losing his mind,

恐慌怪獸開始發瘋

and a few seconds later, the whole system's in mayhem.

幾秒鐘之後，整個系統一片混亂

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And the Monkey -- remember, he's terrified of the Panic Monster --

然後，還記得猴子怕死恐慌怪獸了嗎？

boom, he's up the tree!

砰！他跑到樹上了！

And finally,

最後

finally, the Rational Decision-Maker can take the wheel

最後，理性決策者可以搶過方向盤

and I can start working on the talk.

我也可以開始準備這演講

Now, the Panic Monster explains

恐慌怪獸解釋了

all kinds of pretty insane procrastinator behavior,

各種瘋狂的拖延行為

like how someone like me could spend two weeks

例如像我這樣的人怎麼會花兩週的時間

unable to start the opening sentence of a paper,

就是無法寫出文章開頭的幾句話

and then miraculously find the unbelievable work ethic

然後神奇地發現自己 驚人的職業道德

to stay up all night and write eight pages.

並熬夜寫出八頁的文章

And this entire situation, with the three characters --

這三種角色存在的整個情況

this is the procrastinator's system.

就是拖延者的系統

It's not pretty, but in the end, it works.

是不漂亮，但終究是能發揮作用的

This is what I decided to write about on the blog just a couple of years ago.

這就是我幾年前決定寫部落格的事情

When I did, I was amazed by the response.

寫了之後，讀者的回應讓我很驚訝

Literally thousands of emails came in,

真的有幾千封電子郵件進來

from all different kinds of people from all over the world,

世界各地的千百種人寫信給我

doing all different kinds of things.

他們來自各行各業

These are people who were nurses, bankers, painters, engineers

其中有護士、銀行家、畫家、工程師

and lots and lots of PhD students.

還有超多、超多的博士生

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And they were all writing, saying the same thing:

大家都說一樣的事：

"I have this problem too."

「我也有這個問題。」

But what struck me was the contrast between the light tone of the post

但我驚訝的是，我寫得很輕鬆的文章