caused the extinction of the dinosaurs." Hm.

Until this moment

I had trouble visualizing it.

If aliens helped build the pyramids

where are they now?

Did they just leave?

You know what they say.

History is written by the winners.

Let me out of this damn thing!

Please, someone!

"Push the button to simulate the storm

that brought Amelia Earhart's plane down."

[YELLING]

No! Not again!

Oh, God! Make it stop!

It looks very realistic.

You don't think that's the real Amelia Earhart, do you?

Yes, I think the museum found her on an island

and put her in this exhibit.

Same thing happened to King Kong.

It's not that unusual.

Come on.

All right.

EARHART: Nooooo! Stop!

Above you are the billions of stars

that make up our universe.

Or so we used to think.

We now know those lights

are an armada of alien ships coming to destroy the earth.

Are there any questions?

Yeah. What's a black hole?

Well, my career would be one example.

Any other questions?

Better not ask him anything about Uranus.

I think I've seen enough.

There's only so much learning you can pack into one day.

EARHART: No! Confounded little dog!

Somebody help me for mercy's sake!

[EXPLOSION]

[music]

[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]

Can I ask you a question?

That's why I'm here.

Why don't I ever see

any other garbage men in this city?

It's always you.

I like to work alone.

That's impossible.

One garbage man cannot handle the whole city.

I have shortcuts.

Shortcuts?

What possible shortcuts

would let one person handle the whole...?

[RUMBLING AND ELECTRIC CRACKLING]

Well, maybe we'll pick this conversation up later.

[music]

So tell me more about the many, many ways

in which the Stuntmaster Six Oh Oh Oh

can give me the workout of a lifetime?

[LECHEROUS CHUCKLE]

Keep rolling! Keep rolling!

Uh-huh.

Four easy payments of money will order yours today.

I'm losing consciousness...

And yet I'm still aroused.

[BUZZING]

BOSS: Input, people, input.

But remember it's already in the can

and we can't change it.

If I may use a sports analogy,

you've really hit the goalpost on that one.

Yes, I guess I did.

I watched it only once

and already I want to date that model

and suffer a head trauma.

Why, thank you, Loud Howard.

You humble me.

I've said it before and I'll say it again...

What?

That's as far as I ever get.

Dilbert, you seem strangely silent.

Shall I interpret that as a sign of deep respect

and dare I say, awe?

Yes, you could interpret it that way.

I'm blushing now.

But I can't help wondering.

Aren't we getting ahead of ourselves

with the informercial?

We haven't even tested

the new version of the Gruntmaster 6000.

We're doing that now.

We're sending it to a typical family

for consumer field testing.

That's impossible.

There's only one version

of the new Gruntmaster in existence,

and it's sitting in my design lab.

That thing's not ready for human testing.

We haven't even lab tested the technology.

Oh, calm down.

We'll do that after.

The graviton generator alone is very sensitive.

[MOCKING TONE] "The graviton generator alone is very sensitive."

Quit your whining, missy.

[LAUGHING]

I mean, what's the worst thing that could happen?

STEPHEN HAWKING: If anyone were foolish enough

to build a graviton generator,

it would surely create a black hole

that would annihilate the entire solar system.

Well, I don't know what's the worst thing

that could happen,

but when you start distorting the fabric of space and time,

stretching and enfolding upon itself...

[SNORING]

Nice try, but I don't think you bored him quite to death.

Excellent, Dilbert.

Nice going, Dil. Just great.

music Camptown ladies Sing this song music

music Doo-dah, doo-dah music

What are you waiting for, ladies?

Start singing.

Carol said since he hit his head

he's been talking in his sleep.

Come on, let's get out of here before he wakes up.

Wait. Let's just hear what he says next.

[SNORING]

Boom!

[LAUGHS]

Cooked by explosion.

music When you walk Through a storm music

music Hold your head up high music

Then you'll trip and fall on your ass in the mud.

[SNIFFING]

Is that smoke?

Wally, what are you doing?

Well, I wanted to make some popcorn,

but somebody was using the microwave

and the printer has that heater thing in it

that makes the paper warm, and...

[SCREAMS]

Cooked by explosion.

Didn't the boss say that?

Yeah, but he was just babbling.

Or was he?

What are you saying,

that he predicted this would happen?

I don't know. Am I?

Predicting the future is impossible.

Is it?

Yes. It violates causality.

There is no way to know something will occur

until it occurs.

Or is there?

If you don't stop asking rhetorical questions

I'm going to kill you.

Are you?

On the other hand,

it'd be a pretty big coincidence

if the boss just happened to mention an explosion

right before it happened.

Alice, I think he's dead.

[COUGHING]

Oh, man, I was in the tunnel.

I neglected to mention

the one glitch with the infomercial.

We have to do it all over.

I had to fire the babe.

Why?

Depends whose story you believe.

Mine or the truth.

I feel like I've seen this popcorn before.

This might be a case of deja food.

[WHISTLING "CAMPTOWN RACES"]

DILBERT: I can't believe it.

I can't believe they sent the Gruntmaster out

to some defenseless family for testing.

Do you realize the potential for disaster?

Do you realize--?

The mute button only works on the TV.

It was worth a shot.

We didn't even have the instruction manual written yet.

That graviton generator is a bit unpredictable.

I only hope and pray

they found a smart family to test that thing.

Otherwise, we may be in grave trouble.

Eat your possum, Dory Ann,

or you ain't gettin' another one.

That tain't no possum, Pa.

That's a raccoon.

It just looks like a raccoon

because of the tire marks.

I believe there's been some mistake.

I forgive you all

and now I must bid you all adieu.

You better hurry up and run him over again.

Are you sassing me, young 'un?

I got half a mind...

You say you got half a mind.

You mind your manners, Lucas

or the Baby Jesus will come down here right now

and beat the living tar out of y'all.

I tain't afraid of no Baby Jesus.

Bring him on.

I'll bring him on, you little whippersnapper!

He'll do you what for.

He won't neither.

Quiet.

[TRUCK APPROACHING]

Get the gun.

Morons.

[SCREAMS]

I told you this WAS STOP AND THIS was keep going.

[LAUGHING]

music Pardon me, boy music

music Is that the Chattanooga choo-choo? music

I apologize. Pardon me, sir.

Track 29?

Thank you very much.

Dilbert, this is stupid.

He's been talking nonsense for years

and no one thought he was psychic before.

The only difference now is he has his eyes closed.

Squiddler's patch...

Tay-has.

The darkness engulfs us.

The hole... The hole in space... In time...

The void... The abyss from which no light escapes...

From which no life escapes.

music Ha-ha-ha, hee-hee-hee music

music Little brown jug, Oh, you're for me music

music Fiddle dee dum And fiddle dee dee music

music Little brown jug, Oh, you're for me music

As long as it's filled with plenty of booze.

Let's see what the Skeptic Society has to say about this.

[PHONE RINGING]

MAN: I assume this is Alice,

the woman I met at the Skeptic Society dinner.

How did you do that?

That's incredible.

[CHUCKLES]

A magician never gives away his secrets.

Well, the reason I called...

Is because you want me to debunk

your boss's alleged psychic claims.

Wow! At least tell me how you did that one.

Tut-tut-tut-tut-tut. Wish I could.

All right, so when can you get here?

Are you telling me that was a trick too?

Yes, Alice, a good magician can duplicate any trick

done by a so-called psychic or mentalist.

For example, watch this.

[music]

[GROWLING]

Huh? Aaah!

Down! Whoops.

[ELECTRIC SPARKING]

Lucas, if you break it

the Baby Jesus will take you to hell

and burn you like a pork chop for eternity.

[GASPING AND WHIMPERING]

What the...? I ain't never seed...

Lawdy! That don't look right.

RADIO ANNOUNCER: You've just been listening to a song.

I was on the phone, so I have no idea what it was.

Now the news.

We take you to our sister station

K That's All We Could Think Of,

Squiddler's Patch, Texas.

[EERIE WHOOSHING]

Oh, my God!

My worst fear has come true.

You mean a pregnant spider crawled up your nose

while you were sleeping and laid eggs in your head?

Okay, my second worst fear.

That you'll destroy the world

with one of your inventions?

Yes.

Dogbert, we've got to go

to Squiddler's Patch immediately.