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  • - Hey what's up everyone?

  • My name is Motoki.

  • How you guys doing today?

  • Lately, I've noticed a lot of comments

  • on my videos saying that I'm perfect,

  • and to me that's so weird

  • because I want to tell you guys it's true.

  • I am perfect,

  • so since I'm perfect,

  • I get girls all the time.

  • Everyday and every --

  • (phone ringing)

  • Sorry.

  • Yeah, what's up?

  • (female voice muttering)

  • Hey, oh, you want to go on a date with me?

  • (female voice muttering)

  • Mom, I'll explain later.

  • O.K., so as I was saying,

  • I get girls all the...

  • Never, actually, nope.

  • If we're being real, I suck at getting girls,

  • but if there is one thing I do, it's how not to get girls.

  • Oh, that's so sad.

  • So for today's video I made a little tutorial

  • for you guys on what you should do not get girls.

  • Enjoy.

  • The first step is to look good.

  • You're going to want to look top notch douche all the time.

  • This means wife beaters, cut offs,

  • and my favorite, nothing.

  • Wait, what?

  • (pop)

  • (shriek)

  • The most important accessory is sunglasses.

  • Make sure to wear them 24 seven.

  • Whatever you're doing you have to always wear them

  • because, remember, it's always sunny in doucheville.

  • Now some people will say that personality

  • is more important than looking good.

  • Pfft, please.

  • Looks are way more important.

  • That being said, if you are a guy

  • you need to work out.

  • What am I doing?

  • 100 percent of girls love huge, muscular,

  • Arnold Schwarzenegger like guys.

  • Therefore, you need to go the gym at least five times a day

  • and eat 27 pounds of protein.

  • This is key, make sure to eat as much protein as possible.

  • When you eat, when you drink, when you brush your teeth,

  • and when you absolutely can't eat anymore of it snort it.

  • Whoo!

  • When you got the muscles make sure

  • to show it off and flex in public.

  • It's totally not weird,

  • and everyone will be super jealous of your muscles.

  • Now that you've got yourself looking good

  • you need to know how to treat women.

  • Something I've noticed recently

  • is that girls love competition,

  • so once you start talking to a specific girl

  • make sure to text and hang out with at least 10 other girls.

  • Oh, that reminds me,

  • when you're texting somebody that you like

  • never reply immediately.

  • You're going to want to wait

  • at least three days to text her back.

  • O.K., so let's get back to talking

  • about your girl, your babe, your whatever.

  • A lot of guys have trouble thinking

  • about what to talk about with girls.

  • From my personal experience

  • the best thing to talk about is your ex girlfriends,

  • and better yet, compare her to them.

  • Yep, girls love that.

  • (snorting)

  • O.K., so everyone knows that girls love it

  • when you call her by cute nicknames,

  • so make sure to call her a slut and a (beep)

  • because that just really turns her on.

  • (laughter)

  • Oh, I can't take this seriously.

  • Make sure to constantly insult her looks

  • and, basically, anything she does.

  • You see, body image is a very touch subject for everyone,

  • so when you see your girl call her a fatty,

  • poke her stomach, and laugh in her face.

  • This tender loving care is by no means hurtful

  • and create a long lasting relationship.

  • Now some of you might have been wondering

  • why the title of this video says girls and not a girl,

  • that's because the more girls the better.

  • You see, girls are like objects,

  • and you have to collect them all, like Pokemon.

  • By the way, did I tell you that girls

  • love to be treated in lower value than men,

  • so make sure to do that.

  • I guess that it only makes sense, you know,

  • guys were created like 100 times better than girls.

  • Pfft, everyone knows that.

  • That was a rough estimate.

  • It's probably like 105 times.

  • I don't remember exactly.

  • What I'm trying to say is treat women like they're worthless

  • and never pay attention to their opinions.

  • (laughter)

  • I can't take this anymore.

  • All right, so follow the steps

  • if you never want a girlfriend

  • or want to end up in prison,

  • but for real guys don't do any of these things,

  • unless you want to be a douche bag,

  • then go for it.

  • I am so sorry if you were offended by this video.

  • This was completely satirical.

  • Hopefully, none of you took it seriously,

  • and to think that some guys actually think this way.

  • Ah!

  • But for the guys who are watching

  • and actually want to get girls just be yourself,

  • respect girls as you'd like to be respected,

  • be confident but not cocky.

  • I don't even know why I'm giving advice.

  • Last time I had a girlfriend was...

  • Never.

  • But that's it for this video.

  • Don't forget to like, comment, subscribe,

  • and, most importantly,

  • follow me on your favorite social media

  • because I base my entire self worth

  • on how many followers I have.

  • Thank you guys so much for watching.

  • I'll see you guys soon.

  • ♫ I am just a schemer

  • Trying to turn you nonbelievers into dreamers

  • (beep beep)

  • - Oh, dropped my phone.

  • Dropped it real good.

- Hey what's up everyone?

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A2 初級 美國腔

如何不被女孩 (How to Not Get Girls)

  • 178 6
    nicerober1105 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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