- Okay, where? Where did you apply?

- Um, Craigslist, my--

- No, Ethan, pesticides you can't eat those

before you wash them, no.

Applying for jobs online is like

throwing your resume in a trashcan.

Ethan are you listening to me?

You gotta see if you have second degree connections

on LinkedIn, and then if you do,

then you connect with them and get first degree connections.

Yeah? - Shh.

- Oh, yeah.

Oh you know what? Actually, I have a friend who works

at Spotify, I'm gonna connect you guys.

- No thanks.

It's just, I don't like networking,

it makes me feel so gross and like, manipulative.

- What are you doing? What are you...

- No, oh, no, no (laughing).

- No. - I liked her.

- You're just smart and talented and I feel like

I want you to be happy and successful.

No, you're gonna get some kind of weird stomach virus

that's what was going on in Chipotle--

- I'm gonna feed one to you,

I don't wanna have a virus on my own.

I don't wanna be the only one.

- Did you wash this? - No (laughing).

- [Mary-Ann] Pesticides.

- [Ethan] It's all right.

- [Mary-Ann] If I get diarrhea...

(playful electronic tones)

- Yeah, it's hard to find someone you actually click with.

But don't worry about it, you know it's just a numbers game.

- I went on two dates in the last six months and like

that was emotionally draining for me.

(laughing)

- Well, it's better than last year.

- Yeah, maybe I'll go on three this year.

- Ooh, you bad, bad, (laughing)

I was gonna say bad girl, you bad...

- (laughing) You bad woman.

Hey, Ethan should be here any minute,

I don't know where he is.

- Oh, no worries.

You know, I might not be able to do anything for him,

I'll try but I can't guarantee it.

- Yeah, no, no totally, don't feel obligated to at all,

I think you should just meet him,

he's really cool and talented

and plus we get to hang out,

we never get to hang out. - I know it's so nice, yeah.

- You're super busy now.

- Is that, look at that guy chasing a bird...

- Nope, that's Ethan. - Hi.

- [Mary-Ann] Hey!

- I'm Dani.

- Hey, Ethan, nice to meet you.

- You too.

Cool shorts.

- Thank you.

- [Mary-Ann] I like those shorts.

Dani, did you know Ethan was a contributor to Pitchfork?

He wrote some article about how, um,

it was like Coachella's the new, um, what was it?

- That's cool. We do a lot of work with Pitchfork.

- Yeah?

- Do you know Naomi Miller?

- Yeah.

- She's great.

- I mean, I don't know her personally (laughing).

She's like my editor's editor's editor.

- Oh, yeah, she's super cool, great lady.

- [Ethan] Is she in L.A. ?

- [Dani] No, the New York office.

- Mhm, I've never been to the New York office.

- New York is a disgusting cesspool of a city.

- Are you kidding me? - What?

- No, it's just like, really loud, and noisy, and dirty,

and everyone's sad.

- Mary-Ann, you've only ever been to Midtown.

That is objectively the worst part of the city.

- Yeah. (laughing)

- It's just filled with tourists lining up

to get Hamilton tickets,

and they're too excited to go to the bathroom.

(laughing)

And, what else?

It's just that Bubba Gump Shrimp is there,

that's all. - Oh my God, yes!

- A. Hamilton is the best musical of our time

and B. Bubba Gump Shrimp is the best shrimp of our time.

Also, I came and visited you in Crown Heights,

so don't act like I've never been anywhere.

- Oh, I used to live in Crown Heights.

- Yeah? - Yeah, where'd you live?

- On Rodgers.

- Oh my God, I lived right by the Brooklyn Museum.

- Oh, the Botanical Gardens?

- Yeah. - That is awesome.

- So funny. - Wow.

- They're wonderful, but they couldn't do anything

until The Beatles paved the way.

- I don't think that's fair, at all, Pet Sounds?

Ugh, man. (laughing)

Okay, I got to go but this has been amazing.

- Yeah. - This has been fantastic.

- I will, despite your poor opinions, (laughing)

I will definitely let you know if there's an opening,

and send me all your stuff, your resume, everything.

- I'd love that, thank you. - Cool.

- Dani, this has been great. Thank you for hanging

out with us. - So good to see you.

- Yeah, it was so good to see you.

- We should all hang out soon.

- Yeah, let's do, maybe, drinks or something?

- Sure, cool.

- Actually, Mary-Ann and I were gonna go

rock-climbing after this.

Would you wanna join?

- Oh, um, okay, yeah sure.

I mean, I've never been but--

- It's Hollywood Boulders. It's Santa Monica and Bronson.

(classical music)

- Ah!(laughing)

- Match your hands, so put your right foot up.

Oh, yay that was great. - Oh my god.

- Ohh-- (group clapping)

- [Group] Ahhh!

- [Ethan] It's fun though, it's--

(classical music)

- Hey, can you guys take a picture?

Okay, fuck.

- Yeah, weirdly, it's a lot like yoga, you gotta like

breathe through it, otherwise you're just like kinda tense.

- What's his deal?

- Yeah he looks kinda tense right now.

- (laughing) No, I mean like, is he single?

- Yeah, yeah he's single.

He's just, you know, he dates people

but I think he's just not dating anyone right now 'cause

he told he was like focusing on his career and--

- Oh my god, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, kidding, yeah.

- Guys always say that when they haven't found

the right person. It's like a total cop out, you know?

- Totally.

- Wait, are you guys a thing?

- No (laughing) no, we're just friends,

we've just been friends for a while.

- Cool, okay, well. That's good to know.

- Mhm hmm.

- I'm gonna go climb.

- Okay, have fun.

- Oh (laughing) are you okay?

- You guys wanna get drinks?

- Yeah. - Okay.

- Cool.

- You have three pictures with your grandmother.

- If you don't like my Nana, we can't date.

(laughing)

- You guys want another drink?

- What? - Do you want another drink?

- Oh no, I'm good.

- Okay.

- I don't wanna keep on looking--

- Okay, now I'm gonna read your messages.

Is that too much?

(crack)

- Oh-- - Ooh--

- Oh, it's fine, it's fine it didn't break.

- Okay. - Whew.

- What's next?

- Ah, I don't know, maybe we should call it a night?

- What, no c'mon Ethan, please.

- Well I'm gonna go to my friend's party in Silverlake

if you wanna come?

- Yes, we should go to a party.

- Lots of very fancy, music business types. (laughing)

- I don't know, I wanna go home I think.

- Oh c'mon, don't be a wet blanket, please.

- Hey, he doesn't wanna come, it's fine.

- No, he does. - We'll still have fun.

- No, he wants to go-- - We should go, you and I.

- I know, but he--

- Ethan-- - What's this?

- It was so nice to meet you. - Stop it, what are you--

What's she doing right now? - I don't really--

- Is that reverse psychology? - You coming?

- Are we going?

- Yeah we're going now.

I don't know what's happening.

I feel like I'm being manipulated.

We're going, c'mon.

- Where's Silverlake though?

- There's something sexy about mannequins.

I'm drawn to it, you know, I mean it's not creepy

because it's not a woman I'm objectifying.

It's just a piece of plastic.

- Do you know if there's a bathroom somewhere?

- Yeah, I think there's one downstairs.

- Okay, thank you.

(chattering)

(grating party music)

- Oh my gosh, you're still here.

- Yeah, why wouldn't I be?

- I don't know, you're normally in bed by like ten.

Do you know where Ethan is?

- Oh, I don't know, you'd know better than me.

I'm gonna go and get another drink.

Sorry.

(guests talking)

(melancholy pulsing music)

- There's always a line in the bathroom.

- These are very callused. - Yeah.

- You're like a woodsman.

- Are you guys smoking weed?

(coughing)

(clapping)

- Oh my god.

(clapping)

(laughing)

(clapping, laughter)

- Alright, so you're gonna fill your mouth up

all the way with water

then we're gonna have a staring contest.

- Okay. - All the way, got it?

- Yeah.

(spitting) (laughing)

- Oh my god, are you okay? You're soaking wet.

- Excuse me, sorry, Ethan?

Ethan, come play this game with me.

Oh Ethan--

Wait, come, I'm sorry,

play this game with me, Dani can you--

- Oh sorry, yeah.

- Yeah, here. Okay, put this in your mouth and then...

- Wow. - It's vodka, yeah.

- It's vodka?

- Yeah, and we're gonna look at each other and the first

person to spit loses. - What?

No, I'm not-- (spitting)

- Ow, oh, ow, ow my eyes-- - Oh shit, are you okay?

- Sorry-- - Ethan, are you okay?

- That's how the game-- - Ow, ow, ow--

- Okay, let's go wash it out, let's go wash it out.

- Ow, oh, wow, yeah that hurts a lot--

- Mary-Ann, are you good? - No I'm fine--

- You're okay? - That's just how the game--

- It's just, how the game, works.

(toilet flushing)

(distant party noises)

(sigh)

(upbeat music)

- Are you fucking serious? - What?

- Ethan, of course you did.

- Mary-Ann, I specifically asked if you liked him,

you said no. - No, obviously I liked him,

of course I fucking liked him,

that's why you went after him.