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  • - I have applied to 26 jobs this week.

  • - Okay, where? Where did you apply?

  • - Um, Craigslist, my--

  • - No, Ethan, pesticides you can't eat those

  • before you wash them, no.

  • Applying for jobs online is like

  • throwing your resume in a trashcan.

  • Ethan are you listening to me?

  • You gotta see if you have second degree connections

  • on LinkedIn, and then if you do,

  • then you connect with them and get first degree connections.

  • Yeah? - Shh.

  • - Oh, yeah.

  • Oh you know what? Actually, I have a friend who works

  • at Spotify, I'm gonna connect you guys.

  • - No thanks.

  • It's just, I don't like networking,

  • it makes me feel so gross and like, manipulative.

  • - What are you doing? What are you...

  • - No, oh, no, no (laughing).

  • - No. - I liked her.

  • - You're just smart and talented and I feel like

  • I want you to be happy and successful.

  • No, you're gonna get some kind of weird stomach virus

  • that's what was going on in Chipotle--

  • - I'm gonna feed one to you,

  • I don't wanna have a virus on my own.

  • I don't wanna be the only one.

  • - Did you wash this? - No (laughing).

  • - [Mary-Ann] Pesticides.

  • - [Ethan] It's all right.

  • - [Mary-Ann] If I get diarrhea...

  • (playful electronic tones)

  • - Yeah, it's hard to find someone you actually click with.

  • But don't worry about it, you know it's just a numbers game.

  • - I went on two dates in the last six months and like

  • that was emotionally draining for me.

  • (laughing)

  • - Well, it's better than last year.

  • - Yeah, maybe I'll go on three this year.

  • - Ooh, you bad, bad, (laughing)

  • I was gonna say bad girl, you bad...

  • - (laughing) You bad woman.

  • Hey, Ethan should be here any minute,

  • I don't know where he is.

  • - Oh, no worries.

  • You know, I might not be able to do anything for him,

  • I'll try but I can't guarantee it.

  • - Yeah, no, no totally, don't feel obligated to at all,

  • I think you should just meet him,

  • he's really cool and talented

  • and plus we get to hang out,

  • we never get to hang out. - I know it's so nice, yeah.

  • - You're super busy now.

  • - Is that, look at that guy chasing a bird...

  • - Nope, that's Ethan. - Hi.

  • - [Mary-Ann] Hey!

  • - I'm Dani.

  • - Hey, Ethan, nice to meet you.

  • - You too.

  • Cool shorts.

  • - Thank you.

  • - [Mary-Ann] I like those shorts.

  • Dani, did you know Ethan was a contributor to Pitchfork?

  • He wrote some article about how, um,

  • it was like Coachella's the new, um, what was it?

  • - That's cool. We do a lot of work with Pitchfork.

  • - Yeah?

  • - Do you know Naomi Miller?

  • - Yeah.

  • - She's great.

  • - I mean, I don't know her personally (laughing).

  • She's like my editor's editor's editor.

  • - Oh, yeah, she's super cool, great lady.

  • - [Ethan] Is she in L.A. ?

  • - [Dani] No, the New York office.

  • - Mhm, I've never been to the New York office.

  • - New York is a disgusting cesspool of a city.

  • - Are you kidding me? - What?

  • - No, it's just like, really loud, and noisy, and dirty,

  • and everyone's sad.

  • - Mary-Ann, you've only ever been to Midtown.

  • That is objectively the worst part of the city.

  • - Yeah. (laughing)

  • - It's just filled with tourists lining up

  • to get Hamilton tickets,

  • and they're too excited to go to the bathroom.

  • (laughing)

  • And, what else?

  • It's just that Bubba Gump Shrimp is there,

  • that's all. - Oh my God, yes!

  • - A. Hamilton is the best musical of our time

  • and B. Bubba Gump Shrimp is the best shrimp of our time.

  • Also, I came and visited you in Crown Heights,

  • so don't act like I've never been anywhere.

  • - Oh, I used to live in Crown Heights.

  • - Yeah? - Yeah, where'd you live?

  • - On Rodgers.

  • - Oh my God, I lived right by the Brooklyn Museum.

  • - Oh, the Botanical Gardens?

  • - Yeah. - That is awesome.

  • - So funny. - Wow.

  • - They're wonderful, but they couldn't do anything

  • until The Beatles paved the way.

  • - I don't think that's fair, at all, Pet Sounds?

  • Ugh, man. (laughing)

  • Okay, I got to go but this has been amazing.

  • - Yeah. - This has been fantastic.

  • - I will, despite your poor opinions, (laughing)

  • I will definitely let you know if there's an opening,

  • and send me all your stuff, your resume, everything.

  • - I'd love that, thank you. - Cool.

  • - Dani, this has been great. Thank you for hanging

  • out with us. - So good to see you.

  • - Yeah, it was so good to see you.

  • - We should all hang out soon.

  • - Yeah, let's do, maybe, drinks or something?

  • - Sure, cool.

  • - Actually, Mary-Ann and I were gonna go

  • rock-climbing after this.

  • Would you wanna join?

  • - Oh, um, okay, yeah sure.

  • I mean, I've never been but--

  • - It's Hollywood Boulders. It's Santa Monica and Bronson.

  • (classical music)

  • - Ah!(laughing)

  • - Match your hands, so put your right foot up.

  • Oh, yay that was great. - Oh my god.

  • - Ohh-- (group clapping)

  • - [Group] Ahhh!

  • - [Ethan] It's fun though, it's--

  • (classical music)

  • - Hey, can you guys take a picture?

  • Okay, fuck.

  • - Yeah, weirdly, it's a lot like yoga, you gotta like

  • breathe through it, otherwise you're just like kinda tense.

  • - What's his deal?

  • - Yeah he looks kinda tense right now.

  • - (laughing) No, I mean like, is he single?

  • - Yeah, yeah he's single.

  • He's just, you know, he dates people

  • but I think he's just not dating anyone right now 'cause

  • he told he was like focusing on his career and--

  • - Oh my god, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, kidding, yeah.

  • - Guys always say that when they haven't found

  • the right person. It's like a total cop out, you know?

  • - Totally.

  • - Wait, are you guys a thing?

  • - No (laughing) no, we're just friends,

  • we've just been friends for a while.

  • - Cool, okay, well. That's good to know.

  • - Mhm hmm.

  • - I'm gonna go climb.

  • - Okay, have fun.

  • - Oh (laughing) are you okay?

  • - You guys wanna get drinks?

  • - Yeah. - Okay.

  • - Cool.

  • - You have three pictures with your grandmother.

  • - If you don't like my Nana, we can't date.

  • (laughing)

  • - You guys want another drink?

  • - What? - Do you want another drink?

  • - Oh no, I'm good.

  • - Okay.

  • - I don't wanna keep on looking--

  • - Okay, now I'm gonna read your messages.

  • Is that too much?

  • (crack)

  • - Oh-- - Ooh--

  • - Oh, it's fine, it's fine it didn't break.

  • - Okay. - Whew.

  • - What's next?

  • - Ah, I don't know, maybe we should call it a night?

  • - What, no c'mon Ethan, please.

  • - Well I'm gonna go to my friend's party in Silverlake

  • if you wanna come?

  • - Yes, we should go to a party.

  • - Lots of very fancy, music business types. (laughing)

  • - I don't know, I wanna go home I think.

  • - Oh c'mon, don't be a wet blanket, please.

  • - Hey, he doesn't wanna come, it's fine.

  • - No, he does. - We'll still have fun.

  • - No, he wants to go-- - We should go, you and I.

  • - I know, but he--

  • - Ethan-- - What's this?

  • - It was so nice to meet you. - Stop it, what are you--

  • What's she doing right now? - I don't really--

  • - Is that reverse psychology? - You coming?

  • - Are we going?

  • - Yeah we're going now.

  • I don't know what's happening.

  • I feel like I'm being manipulated.

  • We're going, c'mon.

  • - Where's Silverlake though?

  • - There's something sexy about mannequins.

  • I'm drawn to it, you know, I mean it's not creepy

  • because it's not a woman I'm objectifying.

  • It's just a piece of plastic.

  • - Do you know if there's a bathroom somewhere?

  • - Yeah, I think there's one downstairs.

  • - Okay, thank you.

  • (chattering)

  • (grating party music)

  • - Oh my gosh, you're still here.

  • - Yeah, why wouldn't I be?

  • - I don't know, you're normally in bed by like ten.

  • Do you know where Ethan is?

  • - Oh, I don't know, you'd know better than me.

  • I'm gonna go and get another drink.

  • Sorry.

  • (guests talking)

  • (melancholy pulsing music)

  • - There's always a line in the bathroom.

  • - These are very callused. - Yeah.

  • - You're like a woodsman.

  • - Are you guys smoking weed?

  • (coughing)

  • (clapping)

  • - Oh my god.

  • (clapping)

  • (laughing)

  • (clapping, laughter)

  • - Alright, so you're gonna fill your mouth up

  • all the way with water

  • then we're gonna have a staring contest.

  • - Okay. - All the way, got it?

  • - Yeah.

  • (spitting) (laughing)

  • - Oh my god, are you okay? You're soaking wet.

  • - Excuse me, sorry, Ethan?

  • Ethan, come play this game with me.

  • Oh Ethan--

  • Wait, come, I'm sorry,

  • play this game with me, Dani can you--

  • - Oh sorry, yeah.

  • - Yeah, here. Okay, put this in your mouth and then...

  • - Wow. - It's vodka, yeah.

  • - It's vodka?

  • - Yeah, and we're gonna look at each other and the first

  • person to spit loses. - What?

  • No, I'm not-- (spitting)

  • - Ow, oh, ow, ow my eyes-- - Oh shit, are you okay?

  • - Sorry-- - Ethan, are you okay?

  • - That's how the game-- - Ow, ow, ow--

  • - Okay, let's go wash it out, let's go wash it out.

  • - Ow, oh, wow, yeah that hurts a lot--

  • - Mary-Ann, are you good? - No I'm fine--

  • - You're okay? - That's just how the game--

  • - It's just, how the game, works.

  • (toilet flushing)

  • (distant party noises)

  • (sigh)

  • (upbeat music)

  • - Are you fucking serious? - What?

  • - Ethan, of course you did.

  • - Mary-Ann, I specifically asked if you liked him,

  • you said no. - No, obviously I liked him,

  • of course I fucking liked him,

  • that's why you went after him.