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  • (slow, melancholy music)

    (緩慢、悲傷的音樂)

  • - I don't understand why people don't talk about it.

    我不知道為什麼人們不願意談論它

  • I'm not ashamed that my daughter chose that way to not be here.

    對於我女兒自己選擇了這種方式離世,我並不感到羞愧。

  • I'm grief stricken that she's not with me.

    我女兒不在我身邊,使我感到傷痛萬分

  • - I'd left my phone in my room and I had 45 missed calls,

    我把我的手機留在房間內,有 45 個未接來電

  • and I felt powerless.

    我感到全身無力

  • - It was so shocking,

    這實在太令人震驚

  • and so unbelievable,

    太不可置信

  • but also before I'd even taken the call,

    但在我接起電話之前

  • my phone lit up and knew what the call was about.

    我手機螢幕亮了起來,我知道這通電話是為何打來

  • - I woke up the next morning at two.

    我在隔天半夜兩點醒來

  • Two policemen banging on my bedroom window.

    兩個警察敲著我臥室的窗戶

  • So, I let them inside and they sat me down,

    所以,我讓他們進來,他們叫我坐下

  • and they told me that my sister had been found.

    他們告訴我說,已經找到我姐姐了

  • - I wanted to double check everything.

    我想再次檢查每一件事

  • That the right name came up.

    確認正確的名字出現

  • - The police sergeant started talking to me.

    警官開始與我談話

  • And as soon as he started talking to me, it was just like my heart had ripped in two.

    當他正要開口的時候,我的心彷彿裂成了兩半。

  • - It wasn't until quite a bit of time afterwards that the dust began to settle

    過了相當久之後,才漸漸塵埃落定

  • and you kind of realize what's happened.

    你才有點了解發生了什麼事

  • - Physical feeling of going, "Not, no. That's my daughter. My daughter is gone."

    全身有種想要吶喊的感覺「不是吧,不。那是我的女兒。我的女兒走了。」

  • - I got to a point on Jared's birthday,

    我在 Jared 生日時開始

  • where I was worried about myself.

    擔心我自己

  • - I felt like going to join her.

    我甚至想過步上她的後塵

  • - All the firsts, the first birthday, the first New Years,

    所有的第一次、第一次過生日、第一次過新年

  • the first Christmas,

    第一次過聖誕節

  • it all just hits you when you least expect it.

    你最不想要它發生時,它卻發生了

  • - My heart's never felt the same.

    我的心不再感到一樣

  • It was a physical feeling,

    這是生理的一種感覺

  • of having a part of me taken away.

    好像我身體的一部份被拿走了

  • - I developed agoraphobia.

    我得了懼曠症

  • I developed severe anxiety, and general anxiety disorder.

    我有嚴重的焦慮和廣泛性焦慮症

  • I developed depression worse than I ever have in my entire life.

    我得到有生以來最嚴重的憂鬱症

  • - It comes and goes in waves of feeling from sadness to, yeah just, of course, missing her.

    情緒一波波席捲來,像是悲傷和,是啊,當然還有純粹就是思念她

  • - If you can just imagine one night or you stayed up crying,

    你可以想像在一個晚上你睡不著,不斷地哭泣

  • or crying yourself to sleep over someone that's broken your heart.

    為了某人哭了一整夜,這人傷透了你的心

  • Every single time that's happened, all at once.

    每次當它發生時,全部同時一起來

  • And the feeling's never really gone away.

    這種難過從來沒有真正消逝過

  • - It broke my heart.

    我心碎不已

  • - I think the biggest thing that I've taken from this experience is this sort of fragility of, of life.

    我覺得我從這次經歷學到最大的一件事,就是關於生命的脆弱

  • Particularly when it comes to mental health,

    尤其是牽扯到心理健康

  • and not having services around you.

    自己又孤立無援

  • - That mental health is not a weakness.

    心理健康不是一個個性上的弱點

  • - People to this day, are still sweeping this under the rug.

    但是直到今日,人們仍忽視這個問題

  • People are still not talking about it.

    人們仍然不談論此事

  • People are still pretending it's not happening.

    人們仍假裝它從未發生

  • - There's nothing wrong about speaking out.

    把它說出來並沒有任何的錯

  • There's nothing wrong with having a cry.

    大哭一場是可以接受的

  • There's nothing wrong with having a hug.

    一個擁抱也是很正常的

  • And it's, not wait to speak.

    直接把心事說出來

  • - So, I think dialogue is the key.

    我覺得關鍵是去溝通

  • I think conversation is the key.

    我覺得關鍵是去對話

  • I think asking your friends if they're okay,

    去關切朋友,了解他們的狀況

  • and then listening is the key.

    聆聽是最重要的

  • - It's really made me realize how important it is to reach out to any loved ones,

    我真切意識到,對所愛的人伸出援手是多麼重要

  • to talk about things more, express feelings,

    多聊聊天,表達感受

  • and just be there for each other.

    單純的相互陪伴

  • - My entire baseline of who I am has changed.

    我對於「我是誰」的定義已經完全改變

  • She was my only sibling, so she was my best friend for 20-odd years.

    她是我唯一的姐妹,她是我 20 多年來最好的朋友。

  • I feel like I'm not the same person as I was, and I think a lot of people expect you to kind of bounce back to become the same person, but I'm never gonna be them again.

    我覺得我好像變了一個人,我想許多人會期望你能夠變回原先的那個人,但是我不會再回到從前的樣子了。

  • My whole experience of life has changed.

    我對生命的看法完全改觀了

  • - I don't think it's ever going be normal for me.

    我認為這件事情對我來說永遠不可能會是正常的

  • - And if this reaches just one person

    如果這件事發生在別人身上

  • who was just like me,

    就像我一般

  • I just want them to know that they're not alone.

    我會希望他們知道,他們並不孤單

  • - You're not thinking about what you leave behind,

    人走的時候不會去想留下了什麼

  • but the aftermath just goes on forever.

    但事情的結果卻造成了永久的影響

  • - Look after yourselves, look after each other,

    好好照顧自己,也和他人相互扶持

  • and life's really short.

    生命真的很短暫

  • Just enjoy it.

    好好享受它吧

  • (slow, melancholy music)

    (緩慢、悲傷的音樂)

(slow, melancholy music)

(緩慢、悲傷的音樂)

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A2 初級 中文 美國腔 女兒 悲傷 緩慢 生命 心理 關鍵

人們心中永遠的痛,自殺者親友最沉痛的告白 (What It’s Like To Lose Someone To Suicide)

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    蔡福財 發佈於 2017 年 05 月 05 日
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