- I don't understand why people don't talk about it.

我不知道為什麼人們不願意談論它

I'm not ashamed that my daughter chose that way to not be here.

對於我女兒自己選擇了這種方式離世，我並不感到羞愧。

I'm grief stricken that she's not with me.

我女兒不在我身邊，使我感到傷痛萬分

- I'd left my phone in my room and I had 45 missed calls,

我把我的手機留在房間內，有 45 個未接來電

and I felt powerless.

我感到全身無力

- It was so shocking,

這實在太令人震驚

and so unbelievable,

太不可置信

but also before I'd even taken the call,

但在我接起電話之前

my phone lit up and knew what the call was about.

我手機螢幕亮了起來，我知道這通電話是為何打來

- I woke up the next morning at two.

我在隔天半夜兩點醒來

Two policemen banging on my bedroom window.

兩個警察敲著我臥室的窗戶

So, I let them inside and they sat me down,

所以，我讓他們進來，他們叫我坐下

and they told me that my sister had been found.

他們告訴我說，已經找到我姐姐了

- I wanted to double check everything.

我想再次檢查每一件事

That the right name came up.

確認正確的名字出現

- The police sergeant started talking to me.

警官開始與我談話

And as soon as he started talking to me, it was just like my heart had ripped in two.

當他正要開口的時候，我的心彷彿裂成了兩半。

- It wasn't until quite a bit of time afterwards that the dust began to settle

過了相當久之後，才漸漸塵埃落定

and you kind of realize what's happened.

你才有點了解發生了什麼事

- Physical feeling of going, "Not, no. That's my daughter. My daughter is gone."

全身有種想要吶喊的感覺「不是吧，不。那是我的女兒。我的女兒走了。」

- I got to a point on Jared's birthday,

我在 Jared 生日時開始

where I was worried about myself.

擔心我自己

- I felt like going to join her.

我甚至想過步上她的後塵

- All the firsts, the first birthday, the first New Years,

所有的第一次、第一次過生日、第一次過新年

the first Christmas,

第一次過聖誕節

it all just hits you when you least expect it.

你最不想要它發生時，它卻發生了

- My heart's never felt the same.

我的心不再感到一樣

It was a physical feeling,

這是生理的一種感覺

of having a part of me taken away.

好像我身體的一部份被拿走了

- I developed agoraphobia.

我得了懼曠症

I developed severe anxiety, and general anxiety disorder.

我有嚴重的焦慮和廣泛性焦慮症

I developed depression worse than I ever have in my entire life.

我得到有生以來最嚴重的憂鬱症

- It comes and goes in waves of feeling from sadness to, yeah just, of course, missing her.

情緒一波波席捲來，像是悲傷和，是啊，當然還有純粹就是思念她

- If you can just imagine one night or you stayed up crying,

你可以想像在一個晚上你睡不著，不斷地哭泣

or crying yourself to sleep over someone that's broken your heart.

為了某人哭了一整夜，這人傷透了你的心

Every single time that's happened, all at once.

每次當它發生時，全部同時一起來

And the feeling's never really gone away.

這種難過從來沒有真正消逝過

- It broke my heart.

我心碎不已

- I think the biggest thing that I've taken from this experience is this sort of fragility of, of life.

我覺得我從這次經歷學到最大的一件事，就是關於生命的脆弱

Particularly when it comes to mental health,

尤其是牽扯到心理健康

and not having services around you.

自己又孤立無援

- That mental health is not a weakness.

心理健康不是一個個性上的弱點

- People to this day, are still sweeping this under the rug.

但是直到今日，人們仍忽視這個問題

People are still not talking about it.

人們仍然不談論此事

People are still pretending it's not happening.

人們仍假裝它從未發生

- There's nothing wrong about speaking out.

把它說出來並沒有任何的錯

There's nothing wrong with having a cry.

大哭一場是可以接受的

There's nothing wrong with having a hug.

一個擁抱也是很正常的

And it's, not wait to speak.

直接把心事說出來

- So, I think dialogue is the key.

我覺得關鍵是去溝通

I think conversation is the key.

我覺得關鍵是去對話

I think asking your friends if they're okay,

去關切朋友，了解他們的狀況

and then listening is the key.

聆聽是最重要的

- It's really made me realize how important it is to reach out to any loved ones,

我真切意識到，對所愛的人伸出援手是多麼重要

to talk about things more, express feelings,

多聊聊天，表達感受

and just be there for each other.

單純的相互陪伴

- My entire baseline of who I am has changed.

我對於「我是誰」的定義已經完全改變

She was my only sibling, so she was my best friend for 20-odd years.

她是我唯一的姐妹，她是我 20 多年來最好的朋友。

I feel like I'm not the same person as I was, and I think a lot of people expect you to kind of bounce back to become the same person, but I'm never gonna be them again.

我覺得我好像變了一個人，我想許多人會期望你能夠變回原先的那個人，但是我不會再回到從前的樣子了。

My whole experience of life has changed.

我對生命的看法完全改觀了

- I don't think it's ever going be normal for me.

我認為這件事情對我來說永遠不可能會是正常的

- And if this reaches just one person

如果這件事發生在別人身上

who was just like me,

就像我一般

I just want them to know that they're not alone.

我會希望他們知道，他們並不孤單

- You're not thinking about what you leave behind,

人走的時候不會去想留下了什麼

but the aftermath just goes on forever.

但事情的結果卻造成了永久的影響

- Look after yourselves, look after each other,

好好照顧自己，也和他人相互扶持

and life's really short.

生命真的很短暫

Just enjoy it.

好好享受它吧

(slow, melancholy music)

(緩慢、悲傷的音樂)