Wow, that's terrible

哇！那真是糟糕

I know

我知道

I'm gonna go refill that ice.

我要再去加點冰塊了

No, no, no! Stop bringing up your sad shingles story

不不不，停止再說你那悲慘的帶狀泡疹故事

Oh No. Anxiety, why are you here? I really wanna go to this party alone.

喔不！ 焦慮，為什麼你在這裡？我真的想要獨自來這個派對

And now you're just standing here. Get your phone out, look busy!

而且你現在只是站在這裡，拿出你的手機！裝忙呀！

What the hell do you think you're doing? Do you want people to see you doing that?

你想幹嘛？你想被人看到你這樣做嗎？

Doing what, eating?

做什麼？吃嗎？

Yes. Oh my god, people are gonna see how you eat.

對！喔我的天，人們將會看到妳的吃相！

You've been looking at that alone for way too long

不要獨自那樣盯著畫看這麼久

People are gonna realize that you only know the host like some kind of weird loner.

人們會覺得你只認識主人，就像某種奇怪的獨行俠

Enter a conversation!

進入對話！

Stop! Can't you see they don't wanna talk to you?

停止！你看不出來他們不想跟你講話嗎？

Yeah, I guess

好啦，我有猜到

Stop! They don't wanna talk to you either!

停下來！他們也不想跟你說話！

Okay

好吧

Are you fucking crazy? He doesn't wanna be cornered by you.

你瘋了嗎？他不想被你搭話

And what would you even say be so awkward

你說什麼都會變得非常尷尬

I'm sorry Anxiety, but everyone seems off limits

我很抱歉，焦慮，但是每個人看起來好像都不適合

Hi! I'm Zac. This is my friend Siobhan

嗨！我是札克。這是我的朋友熙貝恩

I'm Katie. How do you guys know Cynthia?

我是凱蒂。你們怎麼認識辛西雅的？

What? Cynthia...

什麼？辛西雅嗎…

They hate what you're wearing and they know you're lame

他們討厭你的穿著 而且他們知道你是個局外人

You're gonna ruin this conversation. Get out now! Say you're hungry

你會毀了這個對話，快逃離這裡！說你餓了！

I am hungry.

我餓了！

Oh, me too. I think I can make a plate

喔，我也是！我想我可以去裝一盤食物

Oh I will come with!

喔，我等等和你一起去！

You idiot! Now looks like you latched onto them

你這個笨蛋！你現在看起來像個跟屁蟲

Uh actually I'm not. Never mind

呃，其實我不餓。沒關係！

Great. You left them to stand in a corner. Now they think you're rude!

很好，你丟下他們讓他們無所適從，現在他們覺得你很沒禮貌！

Your third drink? People are gonna think you are an alcoholic

你的第三杯？人們會認為你是個酒鬼

Yeah I'm just like red solo cups. Are they so popular?

對，我喜歡這些紅色的紙杯，派對上都有它們吧？

Terrible topic. But thank god you are finally talking to someone

糟糕的話題，但感謝上帝你終於和某人講到話了

Wait. That's her landlord!

等等，那是辛西雅的房東欸！

He just responded to a noise complaint. You shouldn't be talking to him

他才剛應付完其他房客反映的噪音抱怨。你不該繼續跟他對談了

Hey you grab it... sorry guys

嘿，你搶到食物了！不好意思，各位。

Does anybody here have a vacation story that could be fun?

有人有有趣的假期故事嗎?

No one is talking to you. You don't belong here. You should just go home right now!

沒有人在跟你講話，你不屬於這裡。你現在應該馬上回家！

Hey. has everybody here been Iceland ever?

嘿，有人去過冰島嗎?

Oh god no. Play it off as a joke. Show them you can laugh at yourself

喔，天啊不！把這弄成一個故意的梗，表現出你可以自娛娛人！

And watch me trip, and watch me bend knee, and watch me trip trip, and watch me bend knee

看我絆倒，看我曲膝，看我絆倒絆倒，看我曲膝(改編自歌曲watch me)

I'm not with her.

我不是跟她來的(最一開始跟她聊天的女生)

Hi it's Katie Marovitch from CollegeHumor. If you wanna subscribe click over here, and for more fun stuff click over here.

嗨，我是大學幽默(CH)的凱蒂。如果你想要訂閱頻道的話點這裡，想看更多有趣的影片點這裡

And if you want access to CollegeHumor secret site

如果你想使用大學幽默的秘密站點

make sure you send your social security number, your credit card information and your mother's maiden name, and a private message to me

請確認你的社會安全號碼、你的信用卡資訊還有你母親的婚前姓氏，然後私訊給我