大衛-萊特曼的晚間秀--羅賓-威廉姆斯。 (Late Show with David Letterman - Robin Williams)

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THANK YOU, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN.
WELCOME TO THE LATE SHOW.
BEFORE WE BEGIN I'D LIKE TO
MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT.
TOMORROW WILL BE MY BIRTHDAY,
I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
I'LL BE AT HOME CELEBRATING
QUIETLY WITH FAMILY AND
FRIENDS.
( LAUGHTER )
>> Paul: THAT'S NOT WHAT I
HEARD!
( APPLAUSE )
WELCOME TO THE SHOW, LADIES
AND GENTLEMEN, THANK YOU VERY
MUCH FOR DIALING US UP.
I DON'T KNOW IF CAN YOU TELL
THIS OR NOT, BUT YOU LOOKING
AT A VERY VERY PROUD MAN.
I'M FEELING VERY PROUD OF
MYSELF TODAY, BECAUSE WHY, YOU
HAVE ANY IDEA WHY?
I FULFILLED MY CIVIC
RESPONSIBILITY AND REPORTED
FOR JURY DUTY.
>> Paul: YES, YOU DID, YES.
( APPLAUSE )
>> Dave: I LOVE JURY DUTY,
THIS IS THE SECOND TIME I WAS
CALLED TO SERVE, AND LIKE THE
FIRST TIME, I WAS NOT SELECTED
TO BE A JURY MEMBER.
>> Paul: NOT SELECTED AGAIN.
>> Dave: NOW THIS REALLY
IRRITATES ME AND I'M TRYING
DESPERATELY HARD NOT TO TAKE
IT PERSONALLY.
( LAUGHTER )
BECAUSE I WAS READY TO GO AND
ANYBODY WHO KNOWS ANYTHING
ABOUT THE JURY PROCESS, THIS
IS UP AT THE WHITE PLAINS
COURTHOUSE THERE IN
WESTCHESTER COTY.
THEY DO A WONDERFUL JOB, THEY
HAVE A MARVELOUS PROGRAM, IT'S
JUST FANTASTIC.
( LAUGHTER )
THEY DO, THEY REALLY DO A NICE
JOB OF IT.
BUT SO THEY PICKED ME I'M LIKE
ONE OF TWELVE AND I'M READY TO
GO, AND YOU KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT ME, YOU KNOW I BELIEVE
IN MY HEART THAT EVERYBODY IS
GUILTY.
I WANT TO LOCK UP SOME PERPS.
( LAUGHTER )
I WANT TO SEE SOME OF THOSE
DIRT BAGS GO TO PRISON.
I WANT TO DRIVE THEM TO THE
PENITENTIARY.
>> Paul: THAT'S YOU.
>> Dave: AND THEY, AND I'M
READY TO GO, I'M MR. SURE
LET'S GO, AND THEY SAID THIS
THING COULD GO ON FOR YEARS, I
SAID FINE, I'M THERE.
>> Paul: YES.
( LAUGHTER )
DAVE THEN THEY GO AROUND AND
ARE TALKING TO PEOPLE, AND GOD
BLESS PEOPLE, AND MOST OF THEM
ARE JUST FINE AND EVERYTHING
IS FINE.
BUT THEN YOU GET ABOUT 30% OF
THEM, LIKE IS THERE ANY REASON
SIR WHY YOU DON'T THINK...
WELL,... I HAVE DRY SCALP.
WHAT?
GET OUT OF HERE! SO, AND THE
JUDGE CALLED ME INTO HIS MY,
HIS CHAIRMANERS.
I HAVE MY OWN PLACE THERE AT
THE COURTHOUSE.
AND HE SAYS WHO ARE YOU
KIDDING, GET OUT OF HERE.
AND THEN YOU GO BACO DOWN AND
THERE'S LUNCH AND IT'S A
LOVELY THING, THEN AT THE EN,
HERE'S WHAT I THINK.
I THINK THAT THESE PEOPLE WHO
UNDER THE BUSINESS OF LAW AND
ORDER SECRETLY KNOW SOMETHING
ABOUT ALL OF US IN SHOW
BUSINESS.
>> Paul: AND THAT WOULD BE?
>> Dave: THAT WE'RE ALL
IDIOTS.
( LAUGHTER )
AND THEY DON'T WANT US
MONKEYING UP THE SYSTEM.
BUT ONCE AGAIN, SO NOW IN
TERMS OF JURY DUTY, I HAVE
SERVED, SHOWN UP TWICE AND I'M
0 FOR 2.
0 FOR 2.
>> Paul: THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
>> Dave: BUT LOOK, I GOT MY
CERTIFICATE AND I DON'T HAVE
TO GO BACK FOR ANOTHER SIX
YEARS, THERE I IS RIGHT THERE,
THAT SHOWS YOU THAT I SHOWED
UP AND EVERYTHING IS FINE.
( APPLAUSE )
AND I WANT TO THANK JUDGE
GILBERT RAYMOND WHO PRESIDED
OVER THE CASE THAT I'M NOT A
PART OF.
( LAUGHTER )
AND JUST A WORD OF ADVICE TO
THE JUDGE, WEAR SOMETHING
UNDER THE ROBE.
( LAUGHTER )
BUT OTHER THAN THAT...
( APPLAUSE )
I'M TELLING YOU, THE BEAUTIFUL
FACILITY, AND THEY'RE VERY
VERY GOOD, AND THEY TAKE IT
VERY SERIOUSLY AND I MET THIS
WOMAN, FRANCES WHO IS THE
COMMISSIONER OF JURORS.
WHOA!
>> Paul: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
>> Dave: THIS WOMAN IS GUILTY
OF BEING HOT.
I'M NOT KIDDING.
>> Paul: REALLY?
>> Dave: FANTASTIC.
BABE CITY.
>> Paul: REALLY?
>> Dave: TO SEE THIS AT 8:30
IN THE MORNING, I THAW OH, MAN,
MAYBE I'LL BE SEQUESTERED.
( LAUGHTER )
BUT I WAS, THERE I GAVE IT A
SHOT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I
TRIED MY BEST AND THEY JUST
DON'T WANT ME AS PART OF THE
JURY SYSTEM.
BUT BY GOD WHAT A NICE DAY
THERE IN THE WESTCHESTER
COUNTY COURTHOUSE IN WHITE
PLAINS, MY THANKS TO ALL OF
THOSE PEOPLE.
ON THE PROGRAM TONIGHT LADIES
AND GENTLEMEN, ROBIN WILLIAMS
WILL BE LOCKED UP.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
HAS A BRAP NEW MOVIE, OPENS UP
FRIDAY IN NEW YORK AND L.A..
AND THEN, WELL, MY UNCLE HAD A
THING, HE THOUGHT HE HAD
KIDNEY STONES BUT THEN, AND
THEY PUT A SCAR, THAT HAS
NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING!
SHUT UP!
I DON'T THINK I CAN SIT
I WILL TELL YOU THAT BOTH
TIMES THOUGHT DOES FLASH
THROUGH YOUR EYES, THRU YOUR
EYES?
( LAUGHTER )
>> Paul: WELL, THEY FLASH
THROUGH YOUR EYES AND INTO
YOUR MIND.
>> Dave: THAT'S RIGHT, THAT'S
PROBABLY WHERE I GOT THIS ONE.
A THOUGHT FLASHES THROUGH YOUR
MIND FOR JUST A SPLIT SECOND
AS YOU'RE SITTING FROM, OH,
GOD, I'M GOING TO BE HERE
UNTIL LABOR DAY.
THAT'S WHEN I CAME UP WITH
THAT DRY SCALP THING.
>> Paul: IT WAS YOU!
( APPLAUSE )
>> Dave: BUT, THANK YOU,
PLEASE BE SEATED.
BUT I MEAN THE COURTHOUSE IS
CRAWLING WITH GUILTY PEOPLE.
HONEST TO GOD, THE STENCH OF
GUILT IS JUST WREAKING OUT OF
TAKE IT AWAY.
♪ PULL OUT THOSE CRAZY, CRAZY,
CRAZY, CRAZY TAX LAWS.
>> Dave: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
CRAZY CRAZY TAX LAWS.
( APPLAUSE )
AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
TO HELP US PLAY THOSE CRAZY
CRAZY TAX LAWS, PLEASE WELCOME
EARNEST VALANI, PRESIDENT AND
CEO OF EARNEST J. VALANI AND
ASSOCIATES.
HOW ARE YOU?
>> GOOD.
>> Dave: NICE TO SEE YOU, THIS
MAN HAS A DEGREE IN BUSINESS
ADMINISTRATION FROM THE
UNIVERSITY OF NEW YORK, HE IS
A CPA AS WELL AS A LICENSED
SECURITY REPRESENT AND A
CHIROPRACTOR.
( LAUGHTER )
SO, AS I UNDERSTAND THIS, HE'S
GOING TO READ US ACTUAL,
ACTUAL TAX LAWS, CURRENTLY ON
THE BOOKS, IN THE UNITED
STATES, AND PAUL AND I WILL
HAVE TO DETERMINE WHETHER OR
NOT THEY'RE REAL.
>> Paul: SO HE'S GOING REAL US
TAX LAWS, THEY MAY NOT BE
ACTUAL.
>> Dave: THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Paul: WE HAVE TO DETERMINE
WHETHER THEY ARE ACTUAL REAL
TAX LAWS OR JUST FAKE MADE UP
BY OUR OWN WRITERS.
DAVE YOU ALL THE TO HAVE YOUR
OWN SHOW.
ALL RIGHT.
THIS IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS
WHERE I'M NOT SURE WHEN IT
WILL BE FINISHED.
PAUL, YOU HAVE ANY IDEA.
>> Paul: ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA.
>> Dave: WE JUST HOPE SOMEBODY
WILL LET US KNOW WHEN EAR
DONE.
DR. VALANI GO RIGHT AHEAD.
>> KANSAS REQUIRES THAT
ILLEGAL DRUGS BE TAXED.
THE DRUG DEALER MUST PURCHASE
TAX STAMPS FROM THE DEPARTMENT
OF REVENUE AND ATTACH THE
STAMP TO THE CONTROLLED
SUBSTANCE.
>> Dave: WHAT DO YOU THINK,
PAUL?
>> Paul: COULDN'T POSSIBLY BE
REAL.
>> Dave: I THINK THAT'S AN
ACTUAL LAW, BECAUSE IT'S
KANSAS.
( LAUGHTER )
AND IT WOULD BE A DETER END TO
DRUG DEALERS TO HAVE TO GO
DOWN AND PICK UP THE DRUG
STAMPS.
I'M GOING TO GO WITH THAT
BEING AN ACTUAL LAW.
>> THAT ONE IS REAL.
>> Paul: YOU WERE RIGHT!
( APPLAUSE )
VERY INTERESTING.
>> Dave: BY THE WAY, I CAN
TELL YOU'RE GUILTY JUST BY
LOOKING AT YOU.
( LAUGHTER )
ALL RIGHT, PLEASE CONTINUE.
>> CAT FOOD IS AN ALLOWABLE
BUSINESS EXPENSE IN ORDER TO
ATTRACT WILDCATS TO DETER
SNAKES FROM A BUSINESS SUCH AS
A SCRAP YARD.
>> Dave: A SCRAP YARD, LIKE A
JUNK YARD?
>> IT SAYS SCRAP YARD.
( LAUGHTER )
>> Dave: I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT A SCRAP YARD IS.
>> Paul: I'M FROM A SCRAP,
THAT'S MY FAMILY BUSINESS,
FROM, THREE GENERATIONS.
OF SCRAP METAL DEALERS YES.
AND A SCRAP YARD, I WOULD SAY
THAT I'M NOT SURE WHY, WHAT'S
WRONG WITH HAVING SNAKES
THOUGH, YOU JUST CUTS THEM UP
AND PUT THEM IN THE SCRAP.
>> Dave: THAT'S THE POINT,
SEEMS LIKE THAT WOULD BE A
DESIRABLE THING TO HAVE SNAKES
IN YOUR SCRAP YARD.
>> Paul: NOT NECESSARILY
DESIRABLE, COULD BE DANGEROUS.
I THINK IT IS REAL BECAUSE YOU
DON'T WANT SNAKE AND IT ALL
MAKES SENSE.
>> Dave: ALL RIGHT, PLEASE
STOP FILIBUSTERING.
GO RIGHT AHEAD, DOCTOR.
>> THAT'S ANOTHER REAL ONE.
( APPLAUSE )
>> Dave: WHAT STATE IS THAT?
>> DOESN'T SAY.
>> Dave: ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.
WHEN DO WE GET TO THE FAKE
ONES?
( LAUGHTER )
>> Paul: OBVIOUSLY NEXT.
>> Dave: I THINK YOU'RE
PROBABLY RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, PLEASE.
>> IF HAVE YOU BEEN OFFICIALLY
DIAGNOSED AS A HYPOCHONDRIAC,
YOU CAN DEDUCT UP TO 20% OF
YOUR UNNECESSARY MEDICAL
EXPENSES.
( LAUGHTER )
>> Dave: NO, SEE NOW THIS IS
TRICKY BECAUSE THIS IS
PROBABLY, IT PROBABLY ALL THE
TO BE A REAL LAW.
BUT I'M GUESSING IT'S NOT,
BECAUSE YOU MAY NOT KNOW
YOU'RE A HYPOCHONDRIAC AND YOU
GO IN THERE WITH ALL SINCERITY,
OH, MY SCALP IS DRY.
>> Paul: HE SAYS IF YOU'VE
OFFICIALLY BEEN DIAGNOSED.
>> Dave: YEAH.
YOU CAN DEDUCT MEDICAL
EXPENSES UP TO 20%, IS THAT
WHAT IT WAS?
>> YOU CAN DEDUCT UP TO 20% OF
YOUR UNNECESSARY MEDICAL
EXPENSES.
>> Paul: UNNECESSARY MEDICAL
EXPENSES.
>> Dave: CAN WE COME BACK TO
THIS ONE?
WE'RE GOING TO COME FWOOK THIS
ONE, DOCTOR.
( LAUGHTER )
>> A CLARINE AND THE LESSONS
AS TREATMENT FOR A CHILD'S
OVERBITE ARE AN ALLOWABLE
MEDICAL DEDUCTION.
>> Dave: YES, YES, ABSOLUTELY,
WE AGREE ON THAT, THAT'S A
REAL LAW.
>> THAT ONE IS REAL.
>> Dave: I'M READ TO GO BACK
TO THE LAST ONE.
THAT'S PHONY.
>> Paul: HAVE HIM REPEAT IT?
>> Dave: NO, WE DON'T NEED TO
HAVE HIM REPEAT IT.
>> ACCELERATED FARM LOSS --.
>> Paul: WAIT WAIT WAIT.
>> Dave: ARE WE RIGHT OR WRONG
ABOUT THE HYPE OH KRON DRY A.
>> THAT ONE IS FAKE.
>> Paul: I DON'T KNOW IF KID
ALLOW WHAT YOU JUST DID, YOU
WENT AHEAD --.
>> Dave: SEE, IF, AND I AM, NO
WON IS MORE HYPO CONDIACAL
THAN I AM AND I'VE THOUGHT FOR
YEARS I OUGHT TO BE ABLE TO
DEDUCT THE COST MIFF PLACEBOS.
>> Paul: BUT IF YOU'RE A
COMEDY WRITER, YOU'RE GOING TO
PUT IN TWO REAL ONES.
>> Dave: I'M JUST BEING TOLD
NOW THAT THIS IS THE LAST ONE,
SO WE'RE NEARING THE END.
ALL RIGHT.
CONTINUE, DOCTOR, ONE MORE.
>> ACCELERATED FARM LOSS
DEPRECIATION MAY BE CLAIMED ON
SCHEDULE 36 IF THE TOTAL EX
TEM SHUNS CAUSED BY DEPENDENT
INVESTMENT CREDIT, LESS THAN
THE AMORTIZED GAPES REALIZED
BY THE ADJUSTED GRASS
DEDUCTION.
OF.
>> Dave: I'D HAVE TO GO WITH
THAT'S REAL.
THAT'S REAL.
>> Paul: WHAT WAS THE FIRST
PARTS OF IT?
DAVE WHAT POSSIBLE DIFFERENCE
COULD IT MAKE, IT'S THE LAST
ONE, WE DON'T CARE, WE JUST
WANT TO GET HIM OUT OF HERE
AND GET ON WITH THE SHOW.
I SAY IT'S REAL.
>> THAT'S OBVIOUSLY FAKE.
>> Dave: THAT'S HOW YOU PLAY,
THOSE CRAZY
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> MEMBERS OF THE JURY,
MR. LETTERMAN HAS NOT
COMMITTED A CRIME AS MUCH AS
AVOIDED ONE.
MY CLIENT HAS APPROACHED MANY
PEOPLE IN HIS TIME.
POOR MISS FARRAH FAUX SEE SAT
HERE ONE EVENING.
MEMBERS, LOOK AT HIM NOT AS A
MAN WHO HAS WASTED HIS LIFE ON
THIS.
( LAUGHTER )
BUT SEE HIM...
( APPLAUSE )
>> Dave: HOW YOU DOING?
>> VERY GOOD, SIR.
CONGRATULATIONS OF AVOIDING
THE LEGAL SYSTEM AGAIN.
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU ON THE
OTHER SIDE OF THE BENCH.
>> Dave: HAVE YOU EVER DONE
JURY DUTY?
>> YEAH, I'M SURE SOME LAWYER
WANTS ME ON A JURY.
( LAUGHTER )
HI, WINONA.
>> Dave: YEAH, THAT MAKES
SENSE.
DID YOU SEE THAT GOLF
YESTERDAY?
DO YOU PLAY GOLF?
>> OH, YEAH.
NO.
>> Dave: YOU DON'T PLAY GOLF?
>> NO, I MEAN IT IS A VERY
QUIET SPORT, LIKE YOU SAID,
IT'S ALWAYS THE COMMENTATOR,
HE'S ON THE SECOND HOLE NOW,
WE'RE GOING TO... I WANT TO
GUY WHO DOES SOCKER TO DO GOLF
ONE TIME.
THE BODY IS ROLLING, HOLE!
HOLE!
( APPLAUSE )
TIGER WOODS IS MAS MACHO!
DAVE PRETTY GOOD SPANISH.
>> I LIVE IN CALIFORNIA, YOU
HAVE TO SPEAK SPANISH AND
GERMAN.
>> Dave: HOW IS YOUR FAMILY
DOING?
>> WONDERFUL.
>> Dave: I'M ALWAYS AMAZED.
>> HOW IS YOURS?
YOU'RE A FATHER, YOU'RE A
FATHER NOW DAVE!
( APPLAUSE )
>> Dave: VERY NICE.
>> YOUNG HARRY.
HAS HE STARTED SAYING, MY NEXT
GUEST... A LITTLE FISHER PRICE
TALK SHOW SET.
OKAY, THEY'RE COMING ON NOW.
DO YOU HAVE A CLIP?
( LAUGHTER )
I'M ROLLING THE CLIP NOW.
THAT'S A GREAT MOVIE.
NICE TO HAVE YOU BACK.
>> Dave: A YEAR AND A HALF
NOW.
>> A YEAR AND A HALF?
OH, SOON HE'LL BE GOING TO
COLLEGE.
>> Dave: YEAH, BUT WHAT'S
CRAZY TO ME IS WHEN WHEN WE
FIRST STARTED SEEING EACH
OTHER ON THIS SHOW OR THE OLD
SHOW, YOU HAD LITTLE KIDS AND
NOW THEY'RE IN NEW YORK CITY.
>> RIGHT, ONE IS GRADUATING
FROM COLLEGE.
>> Dave: THAT'S REMARKABLE.
CONGRATULATIONS ON THAT.
>> THANK YOU, SIR.
>> Dave: GOOD FOR YOU.
( APPLAUSE )
>> THEY'VE COME A LONG WAY.
YEAH, HE'LL BE GRADUATING WITH
A DEGREE IN LINGUISTICS, WHICH
IS ALL OF A SUDDEN I FEEL LIKE
THAT'S REAL GOOD.
YOU SURE DONE THE FAMILY
RIGHT.
BOY, ALL I DID WAS ACT.
TALK ABOUT SYNTAX.
>> Dave: AND WHAT DOES ONE DO
WITH A DEGREE IN LINGUISTICS.
>> PRETTY MUCH YOU OPEN UP A
SENTENCE REPAIR SHOP.
OR YOU WANDER AROUND GOING,
OKAY, YOU SAID HELLO.
OR CAN YOU WORK AN ARTIFICIAL
INTELLIGENCE AND EVENTUALLY
WORK FOR THE PHONE COMPANY
GOING IF YOU WISH TO CONTINUE,
PRESS ONE.
HI, A LIKE DIRECTORY
ASSISTANCE, AND WHAT PART
WOULD YOU LIKE TO TALK ABOUT
NOW?
A LIKE TO GET A NUMBER O.,
THAT WOULD BE VERY WONDERFUL.
WHAT IS YOUR NAME?
MY NAME IS BOB.
>> Dave: DOES YOUR SON...
( APPLAUSE )
DOES, IF WE HAD YOUR SON OUT
HERE COULD HE DO SOME OF WHAT
YOU DO?
OR DID HE GET SOME OF THAT?
>> SOME OF THAT, HE'S ACTUALLY,
THE YOUNGER ONE HAS SOME OF IT
AND MY DAUGHTER IS ACTING NOW.
IN THE HOUSE OF D, WHICH IS
GREAT.
ZELDA, YES.
>> Dave: BEAUTIFUL SWEET GIRL
BY THE WAY.
>> YES, SIR.
AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?
( LAUGHTER )
I ME KNOW IT'S ALL RIGHT NOW,
IT'S SHOW BUSINESS.
>> Dave: NO NO.
>> SHE'S 15 AND WONDERFUL.
SHE'S HERE TONIGHT, SOMEWHERE
IN THIS ROOM.
>> Dave: SHE'S WITH YOU
TONIGHT.
>> YES.
>> Dave: I WAS WATCHING THE
MOVIE AND IT MUST HAVE BEEN
ODD, MAYBE IT WASN'T ODD FOR
YOU, IN IN THE MOVIE SHE FALLS
IN LOVE WITH A YOUNG BOY ASK
YOU'RE THERE WITH THEM, AND
YOU'RE JUST BEING YOU, YOU AND
I WAS WONDERING WHAT IS THAT
LICK TO BE YOU IN FRONT OF
YOUR DAUGHTER AND THEN I
THOUGHT, WELL, HE DOES IT
EVERY DOW FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
>> WELL, THAT'S TRUE.
THAT'S ONE OF THOSE THINGS EVE
I A THERAPIST IS GOING, WHERE
ARE WE?
( LAUGHTER )
YOU'RE YOU, AND SHE IS SHE.
AND WE ARE ALTOGETHER.
IT'S LIKE I WAS PLAYING A
CHARACTER, SOIL WAS
INTERESTING TO PLAY, I PLAY A
SLIGHTLY, YOU KNOW, MENTALLY
CHALLENGED CHARACTER, WHICH IS
NOT THAT MUCH OF A STRETCH.
BUT I WOULD WATCH AND THE
WONDERFUL THING IS SHE WAS
VERY GOOD, AND SHE DOES HAVE A
SCENE WITH THE BOY WHERE THEY
GET TO KISS, BUT I WASN'T
THERE OFF STAGE GOING... OH,
GO AHEAD.
NO, ANOTHER TAKE, HE DON'T
NEED ANOTHER TAKE.
>> Dave: LET ME TRY THIS
AGAIN.
>> OH, YOU.
>>.
>> Dave: YES.
BUT WITH YOUR FAMILY, YOU'RE
JUST YOUR FAMILY.
BUT DOES THAT DYNAMIC ALTER A
LITTLE BIT WHEN YOU'RE TACK
ACTING WITH YOUR FAMILY IN A
MOVIE?
>> OH, I SEE WHERE WE'RE GOING
NOW.
>> Dave: WE MAY NOT BE GOING
ANYWHERE.
>> NO, THIS IS GETTING
INTERESTING.
WHEN YOU'RE ACTING WITH YOUR
FAMILY, I MEAN WHEN I'M
PLAYING A CHARACTER IT'S
DIFFERENT THAN WHEN I'M
FATHER.
WHEN I'M FATHER I'M A DON'T DO
THAT!
BUT IT IS THAT THING OF
PLAYING A CHARACTER, YOU ARE
KIND OF STANDING BEHIND THERE
AS PARENT GOING...
>> Dave: ARE YOU CONCERNED,
THAT SHE DOESN'TLE BARRELS
HERSELF OR IS NOT FEELING
EMBARRASSED WHILE YOU'RE
SITTING THERE NEXT TO HER IN
THE SAME SCENE ACTING WITH HER
WEZ WELL, IF HI DONE THIS, HOW
ARE WE DOING.
LET ME ASKING SOMETHING.
DADDY LOVES YOU, DADDY LOVES
YOU.
>> Dave: A LONG DAY AT THE
COURTHOUSE.
>> NO, SHE WAS GREAT.
WHAT I WAS SURPRISED IS THAT
SHE WAS SO RELAXED, SO CALM,
THAT EVEN I WENT, IT TOOK ME
SIX YEARS TO LEARN THAT, AND
SHE WAS SO GOOD.
AND THE OTHER PART OF THE
EQUATION WHEN, FOR ME WHICH
WAS THE BEST PAR WAS THAT SHE
WAS SO NICE TO EVERYBODY,
WHICH IS, AND PEOPLE WOULD SAY
YOUR DAUGHTER IS A VERY GOOD
ACTRESS AND SHE'S KINL, WHICH
IS A GOOD THING.
>> Dave: THAT'S RIGHT.
ONE OF THOSE THINGS IS
ULTIMATELY VERY IMPORTANT IN
LIFE.
>> ONE OF THEM, YOUR CALL.
IT'S AN ATTITUDE OF WORKING
WITH PEOPLE, AND SHE JUST HAD
IT, IT WAS VERY FRESH AND VERY
OPEN, BUT YET STILL
CONCENTRATED, ALL OF THAT,
WHICH MAKES ME VERY PROUD.
>> Dave: DO YOU THINK THAT
COMES FROM BEING YOUR DAUGHTER
OR COMES FROM BEING YOUNGER
DOING THIS?
>> BOTH.
I THINK IT'S THE THING OF THAT
SHE IS MY DAUGHTER, AND
HOPEFULLY SOME OF THE GENETIC
MATERIAL, I DO BELIEVE IT WAS
CARRIED ON.
BUT I ALSO THINK IT COMES FROM
HER OWN INTELLIGENCE AND HER
OWN DRIVE, AND LIKE YOU SAID
BEING NEW AT IT, WHICH IS
GREAT.
>> Dave: AND IS IT --
>> I THINK SHE WANTS TO DO IT.
BUT I GIVE THEY ARE ADVICE MY
FATHER GAVE ME, HAVE A BACKUP
PROFESSION LIKE WELDING.
>> Dave: HE ACTUALLY SAID THAT
TO YOU?
>> HE DID.
>> Dave: THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
WITH WELDING.
>> MY FATHER SAID DO THAT, AND
I WENT TO A WELDING CLA IN
COLLEGE JUST IN CASE AND THE
GUY WHO TAUGHT THE WELDING
CLASS CAME OUT THE FIRST DAY,
HE HAD ONE EYE AND WENT A SET
A LEAN IS NOT YOUR FRIEND.
AND I WENT, I'M GOING TO LEAVE
NOW.
LET ME SHOW YOU HOW TO LIE THE
TORCH.
>> Dave: OH, MY GOD.
>>.
>> Dave: BEAUTIFUL.
BEAUTIFUL GIRL.
>> HELLO, Z.
LOOK UP THERE ON THE MONITOR
NOW.
DADDY IS WITH UNCLE DAVE!
WE'RE DOING A WITNESS
PROTECTION THING.
I SAW DAVID, BUT I NEVER
CONTACTED HIM ABOUT WHAT WAS
HAPPENING ON THE JURY.
( LAUGHTER )
>> Dave: WHAT A BEAUTIFUL
FACE.
>> OH, YES.
CODY IS WONDERFUL AND ZACH, I
THINK HE WANTS TO GO FROM LINK
WHICH ISITY
YOU'LL SEE THAT WITH HARRY.
YOU KNOW, IT WILL BE A
WONDERFUL PROCESS.
AND YOU, YOU, YOU AND CLINT
EASTWOOD HAVING CHILDREN AT
THIS AGE, WAY TO GO.
YES!
( APPLAUSE )
PICK UP THE BALL FOR DAD, WILL
YOU?
DON'T GO LONG.
( LAUGHTER )
>> Dave: IT'S ABOUT THAT WAY
NOW.
SPEAKING OF BALL WHARK ABOUT
BASEBALL, ARE YOU READY FOR
BASEBALL?
>> I'M READY FOR BASEBALL NOW
THAT THE STEROID SCANDAL IS
OVER, CAN YOU SEE THE PLAYERS
HEADS GOING BACK TO THEIR
NORMAL SIZE.
>> Dave: CAN YOU, GOING FROM
THAT TO SOMETHING ELSE,
SERIOUS, OF GREAT SERIOUSNESS,
YOUR FRIENDSHIP WITH
CHRISTOPHER REEVE.
>> YEAH.
>> Dave: I KNEW THIS AND HAD
FORGOTTEN ABOUT IT, YOU
ACTUALLY WENT TO SCHOOL
TOGETHER.
>> YEAH.
WE WERE BOTH MASTERS STUDENT
AT JEWEL YARD, WHICH MEANS WE
CAME IN FOR LIKE THE SHORE
PROGRAM, A TWO-YEAR CRASH
COURSE.
AND HE WAS SO STEADY EVEN THEN,
HE WAS A BABE MAGNET AND I WAS
STANDING NEAR BY GOING, IF YOU
CAN'T GET TO CHRIS... IF
YOU'RE INTERESTED IN LITTLE
HAIRY MEN...
>> Dave: AND HOW DID THAT GO?
>> I WAS ALWAYS IN THE CORNER
GOING HEY, WAY TO GO.
BUT HE WAS GREAT, HE WAS
LIKE --.
>> Dave: HE MENTORED YOU?
>> YEAH.
HE FED ME.
LITERALLY, I WOULD GO OVER
SOMETIMES AND I'D BE LIKE ARE
YOU GOING TO FINISH THAT TUNA
FISH?
HE HAD THE ONLY APARTMENT WITH
KIND OF A ROOF, YOU KNOW, I
MEAN EVERYONE HAD A ROOF.
BUT ACTUALLY WHAT ARE YOU
DOING?
I'M SORRY, WE DON'T HAVE TIME
FOR ROOFS HERE.
IT'S A FOUR-FLOOR WALKUP WHAT
WE LIKE TO CALL THE ULTIMATE
SKYLIGHT.
IT'S, WE CALL IT THE WEST SIDE
PLANETARIUM.
BUT HE HAD THIS ROOF TOP
GARDEN, I WAS LOVELY.
HE ONCE AGAIN, THE LADIES WERE
ALWAYS THERE, AND I'D BE GOING
ANOTHER COCKTAIL, MADAM.
AND WE STAYED FRIENDS FOR
YEARS AND YEARS, AND HE'S THE
GOD FATHER OF ZACHARY, MY
OLDEST SON.
>> Dave: AND IN SPITE OF HIS
CONDITION, I THINK EVERYBODY
WAS CERTAINLY SADDENED AND
SURPRISED THAT HE PASSED AWAY.
>> ME TOO. IT'S THAT WEIRD
THING OF, I NEVER THOUGHT HE
WOULD GO.
HE HAD BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH
AND FOUGHT SO HARD WHEN THAT
WHEN WE FOUND OUT HE WAS GONE,
IT'S LIKE NO.
YOU FEEL THAT, YOU KNOW, STILL
I FEEL LIKE I CAN CALL HIM,
AND UNLESS I HAVE THE SHIRLEY
McLANE LINE, I CAN'T.
IT'S THAT IDEA THAT I ALWAYS
THOUGHT HE'D BE AROUND.
IT WAS TOUGH.
>> Dave: THE PERIOD FROM HIS
INJURY ON WAS UNQUESTIONABLY
THE MOST VALUABLE PART OF HIS
LIFE, WHICH IS AN ODD --
>> ALL OF A SUDDEN, HE WAS SO
VIBRANT, EVERYTHING BECAME CON
SENSED INTO LIKE A LASER TO
THIS PINPOINT OF, BECAUSE HE
SPOKE LIKE BOBBY KENNEDY SAID
IN CONCISE SENTENCES, BUT
LITERALLY BECAUSE OF THE
RESPIRATOR.
AND HE WOULD SPEAK AND
EVERYTHING WAS VERY PRECISE.
PLUS, THE IDEA OF BEING A
SPOKESPERSON, WHEN HE WAS
MENTIONED IN THE DEBATE, I
THINK THAT WAS, THAT HAD
BECOME A POLITICAL FORCE, THAT
HE HAD TAKEN IT FROM THAT
POINT TO BEING PART OF A
POLITICAL DEBATE.
>> Dave: SORTS OF RAISED
AWEARNESS TO A LEVEL.
>> TO PUT IT TO THE FOREFRONT,
HE HAD BEEN VERY POLITICAL
EVEN AFTER SCHOOL LATER ON.
BUT THIS BECAME THIS DRIVING
FORCE WITH HIM.
I MEAN, A GREAT FRIEND, AND I
MISS HIM.
IT'S LIKE IT'S WEIRD.