>> Dave: YOU KNOW, THE BIG

BLOCKBUSTER OF THE SUMMER OPENED

UP, "WAR OF THE WORLDS".

HOW MANY GOT A CHANCE TO SEE

"WAR OF THE WORLDS".

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Dave: YOU HAD HUH?

YOU SAW "WAR OF THE WORLDS" AND

THEN YOU WENT OVER TO DOC'S

HOUSE.

(APPLAUSE)

>> WELL, IN THE MOVIE, YOU KNOW

WHAT THE MOVIE IS THE "WAR OF

THE WORLDS", THE ALIENS ATTACK

NEW JERSEY.

THEY ATTACK NEW JERSEY.

ACTUALLY, ACTUALLY THEY FIRST

LANDED IN MANHATTAN AND WERE

DRIVEN OUT BY THE PRICES. YOU'VE

SEEN THE TOYS THAT THIS WOMAN

HAS.

>> Paul: OKAY.

>> Dave: NOW I DON'T KNOW WHY WE

DIDN'T DO THIS YEARS AGO.

WE COULDN'T DO THIS SHOW NIGHT

IN AND NIGHT OUT WITHOUT THE

YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN WHO ARE

PAGES AT CBS.

>> Paul: OH YES.

>> Dave: THEY COME TO WORK EARLY

AND THEY HAVE TO PUT ON THOSE

POLYESTER THINGS AND THEY HELP

PEOPLE, THEY ARE FRIENDLY.

THEY ARE LIKE TOUR GUIDES, LIKE

PARK RANGERS, LIKE RED CROSS,

THEY ARE PUBLIC SERVICE, THEY

ARE EDUCATIONAL, INFOTAKENABLE.

>> THEY HELP.

>> Dave: THEY ARE AN INTEGRAL

PART OF THIS PRODUCTION SO

TONIGHT, IT WAS CALLED TO MY

ATTENTION.

WE HAVE A GENTLEMAN WHO IS A

PAGE AND HE HAS BEEN A PAGE HERE

AT CBS FOR 37 YEARS.

>> WOW!

NO KIDDING?

>> DID YOU KNOW THAT?

>> I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS A

PAGE FOR THAT LONG.

>> Dave: A PAGE FOR 37 YEARS.

I THOUGHT IT WAS A COUPLE OF

YEARS BUT THIS MAN HAS MADE A

CAREER OF IT.

I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN TO

BRING HIM OUT TONIGHT.

PLEASE WELCOME OUR GOOD FRIEND

JOHNNY, THE OLDEST, THE OLDEST

CBS PAGE, JOHNNY, WHERE ARE YOU?

(APPLAUSE)

>> Dave: NICE TO SEE YOU,

JOHNNIE.

TAKE A BOW.

THAT A BOY.

(APPLAUSE)

>> Dave: JOHNNY, THANK YOU VERY

MUCH.

I KNOW YOU HAVE A BUSY SCHEDULE.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAKING THE

TIME TO BE WITH US HERE TONIGHT.

HOW ARE YOU, BY THE WAY?

>> LIVING A DREAM, DAVE.

(LAUGHTER)

>> LIVING A FRIGGIN DREAM.

>> Paul: WHOA, HEY.

(APPLAUSE)

>> Dave: WAIT A MINUTE.

>> Dave: THAT'S JOHNNY.

>> Paul: WHO IS THIS GUY?

>> I DON'T THINK ARE YOU ALLOWED

TO SMOKE IN THE THEATRE.

I'M SORRY.

>> FINE, CALL A COP!

>> Dave: DID YOU HEAR WHAT HE --

I DIDN'T HEAR WHAT HE SAID.

>> Paul: I DON'T KNOW.

>> Dave: TELL US ABOUT YOUR LIFE

T SOUNDS GLAMOUROUS, DO YOU

ENJOY BEING A PAGE?

>> OH YEAH, YEAH, I LIKE BEING A

PAGE.

AND I LIKE HAVING HOT COAL

PACKED UP MY --

(LAUGHTER)

>> Dave: ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

AND MAYBE IT'S JUST ME BUT YOU

SOUND JUST A LITTLE -- A LITTLE

BITER.

HAVE YOU DONE OTHER THINGS, I

MEAN BEFORE YOU WERE A PAGE OR

TRIED OTHER JOBS OR ANYTHING?

>> YEAH, WELL, '94 MY COUSIN AND

I WE STARTED A ROOFING BUSINESS.

>> Dave: ROOFING BUSINESS, THAT

SOUNDS LIKE A LOT OF FUN.

>> OH YEAH T WAS PARADISE UNTIL

ONE OF THE ILLEGALS FELL OFF A

LADDER AND DISLOCATED HIS ELBOW.

NEXT THING YOU KNOW IMMIGRATION

POKING AROUND AND -- EVERYTHING

GOES -- UP.

(APPLAUSE)

>> Dave: REALLY?

I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

WOW!, SORRY TO HEAR THAT.

DID YOU HEAR THAT, PAUL?

>> YEAH, I HEARD WHAT HE SAID,

YEAH.

>> Dave: YEAH.

ALL RIGHT, WELL LET'S FORGET

ABOUT THE ROOFING BUSINESS.

I THINK WHAT PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW

WHAT IS YOUR JOB HERE AS A CBS

PAGE.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

WHAT ARE YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES?

>> YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT I DO.

I'M THE GUY THAT TELLS THIS

CROWD THEY CANNOT QUELL"

LETTERMAN SUCKS "NO, LETTERMAN

DOES NOT SUC.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS T IS

ANOTHER ROCKING HOLIDAY WEEKEND,

COMING, DAVE, ALL RIGHT, HIT IT

LINDA.

♪ TELL ME WHEN WILL YOU BE

MINE ♪

♪ TELL ME QUONDOQUONDO ♪

♪ WE CAN SHARE YOUR LOVE --

>> DROP BY BEN I BEGANS IN ROUTE

76 FOR JOHNNY FIRECRACKER'S

FOURTH OF JULY PARTY.

CHECK IT OUT.

LADIES DRINK FREE!

(APPLAUSE)

♪ TELL ME WHEN WILL YOU BE BY ♪

♪.

>> Dave: JOHNNY, THE OLDEST CBS

PAGE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Dave: WOW!.

(APPLAUSE)

>> Dave: SORRY TO HEAR THAT

ABOUT THE ROOFING BUSINESS THEY

HAD.

>> Paul: IT WENT -- UP,

APPARENTLY.

>> Dave: APPARENTLY.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Dave: DON'T YOU HATE WHEN

THAT HAPPENS?

ACTUALLY, DOESN'T HAPPEN OFTEN

ENOUGH IN MY LIFE.

AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

IT'S TIME FOR THE LATE SHOW WEEK

IN REVIEW.

♪ LADIES AND GENT ♪

♪ LATE SHOW WEEK IN REVIEW ♪♪

HERE'S DAVE!

>> Dave: ALL RIGHT.

(APPLAUSE)

>> Dave: THIS, OF COURSE, AS YOU

KNOW IS THE FIRST FULL WEEK OF

SUMMER AND I THOUGHT I HAD ALL

THE BASIC PROVISION I NEEDED FOR

THE SUMMER SEASON UNTIL I SAW

THIS VALUABLE REMINDER ON

TELEVISION.

TAKE A LOOK.

>> SUMMERTIME IS FINALLY HERE.

BUT BEFORE YOU PUT ON YOUR

SUMMER WHITES, REMEMBER TO PICK

UP A BOTTLE OF SPRAY 'N WASH.

NEW AND IMPROVED SPRAY 'N WASH

WILL MAKE EVEN THE MOST STUBBORN

STAINS DISAPPEAR.

WHETHER YOU'VE BEEN WORKING IN

THE GARDEN, PLAYING ON THE LAWN,

OR JUST EATING DORRITOES IN YOUR

UNDERPANTS, SPRAY 'N WASH, YOUR.

>> IS GOOD NEWS.

>> Dave: YEAH.

THIS WEEK THE SENATE BEGAN

CONSIDERING A CONSTITUTIONAL

AMENDMENT TO BAN FLAG BURNING.

HERE NOW WITH A COMMENTARY IS

OUR OWN ANNOUNCER ALAN,.

>> THANK YOU, DAVE.

OUR FLAG HAS A PROUD HISTORY

DATING BACK TO ITS CREATION IN

1776.

IT DESERVES THE RESPECT THAT WE

WOULD AFFORD THE NOBLE

PRINCIPLESES THAT GUIDE OUR

GREAT NATION.

WE MUST REMEMBER THAT THE FLAG

IS A SYMBOL OF THE FREEDOMS WE

HOLD DEAR.

INCLUDING THE FREEDOM TO DISSENT

EVEN TO THE POINT THAT DEFACING

THAT SYMBOL.

SAY NO TO THE CONSTITUTIONAL

AMENDMENT.

>> Dave: THANK YOU VERY MUCH,

ALAN.

>> THANK YOU, DAVE.

>> Dave: NICELY PUT.

THAT'S NICE.

ALAN.

AND BY THE WAY, AN EXTRA TIP OF

THE HAT, I BELIEVE ARE YOU

DRESSED AS THE CREATOR OF THE

FLAG, BETSY ROSS.

>> DAVE, DAVE, NO, MY DRY

CLEANER SCREWED UP AND I'M GOING

TO SUE THEIR NUTS OFF.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Dave: ALL RIGHT THEN.

>> Dave: THANK YOU SO MUCH.

NOW THAT THE FOURTH OF JULY HAS

RIFED, TAKE A LOOK AT SOME.

BEST NEW TOYS AVAILABLE FOR KIDS

THIS SUMMER.

HERE TO HELP US IS OUR TOY

EXPERT SHANNON ICE, ALWAYS A

PLEASURE, SHANNON.

GOOD TO SEE YOU.

>> YOU AS WELL.

>> Dave: HOW IS YOUR SUMMER

GOING.

>> FABULOUS, VERY HOT.

>> Dave: WHAT WE KNOW FROM

PREVIOUS VISIT, THAT THE TOY

INDUSTRY SAY MULTIBILLION-DOLLAR

BUSINESS, ISN'T IT.

>> CORRECT.

>> Dave: WHAT DO WE HAVE IN.

>> WE WILL START HERE WITH THE

NERF BLASTER, DO YOU WANT TO

WEAR PROTECTIVE GOGGLES.

>> I HAVE MY OWN PROTECTIVE

GOGGLES ON.

>> YOU DO HAVE TO DO THE VEST F

YOU CAN DO THE VEST, POP IT

RIGHT OVER THERE.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Dave: THAT WILL WORK.

>> PERFECT.

(APPLAUSE)

>> Dave: I'M HAVING A LITTLE

TROUBLE BREATHING, THE CAROTID

ARTERY DOESN'T SEEM TO BE

WORKING.

>> I WILL GIVE YOU YOUR OWN

BLASTER.

LET ME SHOW YOU, EVERY TIME YOU

WANT TO SHOOT GIVE IT A QUICK

PUMP AND BASICALLY IT WILL STICK

TO YOUR VEST OR MY VEST.

>> SORRY, MA'AM.

>> DO YOU NEED SOME HELP.

>> Dave: NO, I'M FINE, SHANNON.

YOU'VE DONE PLENTY ALREADY