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  • >> TODAY, VERMONT THAT'S RIGHT BERNIE SANDERS KICKED OFF HIS

  • CAMPAIGN FOR PRESIDENT.

  • >> HE'S A LONG SHOT. >> A LONG SHOT.

  • >> I DON'T THINK HE'S GOING TO BE TAKEN TOO INCREDIBLY.

  • >> BERNIE SANDERS A SOCIALIST, FOR GOD'S SAKE.

  • >> I THICK BROOKLYN ACCENT.

  • >> HE'S 73 YEARS OLD, HE LOOKS 91.

  • > HE''S A LITTLE CRUSTY.

  • >> HE'S A LOON, ISN'T HE?

  • >> Jon: HE OWNS A V.H.S. COPY OF TOOTSIE!

  • THAT LAST ONE SEEMED KIND OF LIKE A WEIRD SLAM.

  • TOOTSIE IS A FINE FILM

  • CERTAINLY THE BEST CROSS-DRESSING DUSTIN HOFFMAN

  • MOVIE THAT'S BEEN RELEASED PUBLICLY.

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • BUT YOU KNOW, THE POINT IS SANDER 'S A LOON!

  • HE WEARS SOCKS ON HIS HANDS AND GLOVES ON HIS FEET!

  • HE BUTTERS HIS BREAD WITH VASELINE!

  • HE LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA.

  • IF SALVADOR DALI AND DR. SEUESS HAD A CHILD, AND THAT CHILD WAS

  • RAISED BY SCHIZOPRHENIC HOWLER MONKEYS, IT WOULD BE BERNIE

  • SANDERS!

  • GIVE ME A TASTE OF THIS CRAZY CUCKOO BIRD!

  • >> IF A BANK IS TOO BIG TO FAIL, THAT BANKS IS TOO BIG TO EXIST.

  • WE MUST ESTABLISH PAY EQUITY FOR WOMEN WORKERS.

  • WE MUST BE FOCUSED ON CAMPAIGN FINANCE REFORM... INSTEAD OF

  • CUTTING SOCIAL SECURITY, WE ARE GOING TO EXPAND SOCIAL SECURITY

  • BENEFITS!

  • >> Jon: WHAT A -- A -- A

  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

  • WHAT A RATIONAL, SLIGHTLY LEFT OF CENTER, MAINSTREAM

  • POLITICIAN.

  • I MEAN, HE'S EXCITABLE, CERTAINLY UNPOLISHED, AS

  • EVIDENCED BY HIS TO DELIVER HIS INCOME EQUALITY SPEECH IN FRONT

  • OF A REGATTA.

  • BUT HE'S NOT CRAZY.

  • THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SANDERS AND HILLARY CLINTON, BESIDES THE

  • FACT SHE HAS HER OWN INTERNET SERVICE IN HER HOUSE AND HE

  • ISN'T SURE HE'S ONLINE UNLESS HE HEARS THIS --

  • [MODEM SOUND]

  • >> WELCOME.

  • >> Jon: BUT THE REAL DIFFERENCE IS, HILLARY HAS PROFESSIONAL

  • IMAGE HANDLERS...

  • TELLING HER TO COMB HER HAIR --

  • TODAY... AND TOMORROW... MAKE IT A REGULAR THING.

  • AND HILLARY INSTEAD OF USING YOUR ACTUAL VOICE, MAKE IT SOUND

  • LIKE YOU'RE FROM WHATEVER REGION IT IS YOU'RE TALKING TO.

  • IN FACT, HERE'S THE ILLINOIS- BORN, NEW ENGLAND-EDUCATED

  • SENATOR SPEAKING IN SOUTH CAROLINA.

  • >> I'M AWARE I MAY NOT BE THE YOUNGEST CANDIDATE IN THIS RACE,

  • BUT I HAVE ONE BIG ADVANTAGE, I HAVE BEEN COLORING MY HAIR FOR

  • YEARS!

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • >> Jon: NOW ANYWAY, IF Y'ALL EXCUSE ME, I HAVE TO GET

  • SHELL BY'S JUICE!

  • SHE'S HAVING A FIT!

  • WHERE ARE MY FRAYED GREEN TOMATOES!

  • LISTEN UP, SENATOR, I'LL DO THE LINDSAY LOHAN IMPRESSIONS AROUND

  • HERE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

  • THE PROBLEM ISN'T BERNIE SANDERS IS A CRAZY PANTS CUCKOO BIRD,

  • IT'S ALL WE'VE BECOME SO ACCUSTOMED TO STAGE MANAGED,

  • FOCUS-DRIVEN CANDIDATES THAT AUTHENTICITY COMES ACROSS AS

  • LUNACY.

  • >> HE MAY BE THE MOST UNUSUAL PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE WE'VE

  • SEEN IN A LONG TIME.

  • >> Jon: IF BY UNUSUAL YOU MEAN HONESTLY REPRESENTING HIMSELF IN

  • HIS BELIEFS RATHER THAN PLAYING A CYNICAL POLITICAL GAME, BUT IF

  • YOU MEAN MOST UNUSUAL CANDIDATE AS IN CRAZY, I CAN REFUTE THAT

  • ASSERTION IN THREE SIMPLE WORDS --

  • >> AHHH!

  • SHUCKY DUCKY!

>> TODAY, VERMONT THAT'S RIGHT BERNIE SANDERS KICKED OFF HIS

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B1 中級

每日秀--《2016年民主啟示錄》--伯尼-桑德斯拉開競選序幕。 (The Daily Show - Democalypse 2016 - Bernie Sanders Kicks Off His Campaign)

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    VoiceTube 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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