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  • >> Jon: HELLO, FRIENDS. IT'S HAPPENED AT LAST. WINTER'S

  • CHILL GREY HAS YIELDED TO THE FULL WARMTH OF SPRING

  • THE NEW SEASON'S SEEDLINGS AWAKE FROM THEIR SLUMBER AND BURST

  • THROUGH THE THAWING LOAM BLOSSOMING IN GLORIOUS COLORS

  • AND RELEASING ANOTHER YEAR'S BOUNTY OF POLLEN

  • WHICH WHILE IT IS NICE FOR

  • THE PLANTS, THREATENS TO KILL US ALL!

  • >> ALLERGY EXPERTS THIS MORNING ARE WARNING OF A

  • POLLEN TSUNAMI. >> A POLLEN TSUNAMI IS SWEEPING

  • ACROSS MOST OF AMERICA RIGHT NOW.

  • >> POLLEN TSUNAMI SUDDENLY HITTING VERY HARD.

  • >> POLLEN TSUNAMI, SOUNDS LIKE WE MADE IT UP.

  • >> Jon: NO!

  • (LAUGHTER) NO, NO, POLLEN TSUNAMI,

  • DEFINITELY SOUNDS LIKE A REAL SCIENTIFIC TERM.

  • AND INCREDIBLY APPROPRIATE ONE COMPARING ITCHY EYES AND

  • SNEEZING TO NATURAL DISASTERS THAT KILL HUNDREDS

  • OF THOUSANDS.

  • REALLY! I CHECKED IN A BOTANY TEXTBOOK, POLLEN TSUNAMI.

  • RIGHT THERE IN THE GLOSSARY

  • NO, I DON'T EVEN NEED TO CHECK IT I TRUST YOU, YOU ARE

  • THE NEWS.

  • ALTHOUGH I FEEL LIKE LAST YEAR THEY GAVE ALLERGY

  • SEASON A DIFFERENT DISASTER MOVIE NAME.

  • >> WE ARE DONE AND DONE WITH THAT POLAR VORTEX FOR THIS

  • YEAR BUT WHAT ABOUT THE POLLEN VORTEX.

  • >> WHAT SOMEWHERE NOW CALLING THE POLLEN VORTEX.

  • >> THE POLLEN VORTEX IS LAUNCHING AN ASSAULT.

  • >> YES, YES, YES.

  • POLLEN VORTEX OR AS IT IS SOMETIMES REFERRED TO, THE

  • GARDEN.

  • (LAUGHTER) SO SOMETIMES THE CREATIVE

  • DESCRIPTIONS OF ALLERGY SEASON MISS THE MARK.

  • BUT ISN'T THAT WHY GOD INVENTED CLICHES

  • >> ABOUT 40 MILLION AMERICAN SUFFER FROM SEASONAL

  • ALLERGIES.

  • AND THIS SPRING THEY'RE GETTING HIT WITH A PERFECT

  • STORM OF MISERY.

  • >> A PERFECT STORM FOR ALLERGY SUFFERERS.

  • >> THE PERFECT STORM OF ALLERGIES.

  • >> PERFECT STORM FOR ALLERGY SUFFERERS.

  • >> THE PERFECT STORM, A LOT OF SNOW, A LOT OF WATER AND

  • NOW A LOT OF WARM WEATHER, PERFECT STORM.

  • (LAUGHTER) >> IF IT HAPPENS EVERY YEAR

  • AT THE SAME TIME, THAT DOESN'T REALLY COUNT AS A

  • PERFECT STORM, REALLY.

  • IT'S JUST A [BLEEP] STORM.

  • IN FACT THE ONLY THING PERFECT HERE IS HOW

  • PREDICTABLE THE COVERAGE OF POLLEN IS YEAR AFTER YEAR.

  • >> THIS SPRING IS SHAPING UP TO BE THE WORSE ALLERGY

  • SEASON IN YEARS.

  • >> ONE OF THE WORST ALLERGY SEASONS IN AREAS.

  • >> THE WORST ALLERGY SEASON THAT WE HAVE EVER, EVER

  • SEEN.

  • >> ONE OF THE WORST ALLERGY SEASONS ON RECORD.

  • >> ONE OF THE WORSE ALLERGY SEASONS EVER.

  • >> ONE OF THE WORSE ALLERGY SEASONS IN YEARS.

  • >> ALLERGY SEASON IS ALREADY ONE OF THE WORST IN RECENT

  • MEMORIES.

  • >> THIS IS THE WORST ALLERGY SEASON EVER.

  • >> ONE OF THE WORST ALLERGY SEASONS IN YEARS.

  • >> THE WORST ALLERGY SEASON IN A DECADE.

  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> HOW CAN EVERY YEAR BE THE

  • WORST EVER.

  • WHAT, IS IT THE KNICKS?

  • YEAH, BOO ME, I OWN THE TEAM.

>> Jon: HELLO, FRIENDS. IT'S HAPPENED AT LAST. WINTER'S

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每日秀--花粉來了。 (The Daily Show - Along Came Pollen)

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