字幕列表 影片播放 列印英文字幕 CHRISTIANITY HAS A LONG HISTORY, ALMOST AS LONG AS THE JEWS-- NOT THAT, OBVIOUSLY, NOT THAT IT'S A COMPETITION OR ANYTHING. WE'VE JUST OBVIOUSLY BEEN AROUND FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS LONG. THE POINT IS THIS, WHAT IS THE FUTURE OF CHRISTIANITY? JORDAN KLEPPER INVESTIGATES. >> CHRISTIAN CHURCH ATTENDANCE IN THE UNITED STATES CONTINUES TO DWINDLE, BUT ACCORDING TO THE NEW YORK TIMES, THERE WAS ONE PASTOR CARL LENTZ WHO WAS DRAWING RECORD CROWDS WITH AN INNOVATIVE STYLE. BUT WAS HE THE REAL DEAL? EXCUSE ME, YOUNG ROCK BAND MEMBER, I'M LOOKING FOR A STUFFY OLD PASTOR WHO SAYS HE HAS A MODERN TWIST ON CHRISTIANITY. >> I THINK YOU'RE LOOKING FOR ME. >> THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. >> YEAH, YEAH. WE'RE GOING TO-- LET'S JUST HUG IT OUT. >> YEAH, THAT. YEAH. THAT FEELS RIGHT. >> GREAT TO MEET YOU. >> YEAH, GOOD TO HANG OUT WITH YOU, MEET YOU. >> YEAH. YEAH. >> COOL. WAS I FACE TO FACE WITH THE FUTURE OF CHRISTIANITY? FUTURE CHRIST. COPYRIGHT JORDAN KLEPPER. PASTOR LENTZ HAD IT ALL. SKINNY JEANS, THE DOUCHE BEANIE AND HE PLAYED GRAND THEFT AUTO IN GORE MODE. IN SOLD-OUT STADIUMS ACROSS THE COUNTRY THIS GUY HAD BOTH BELIEVERS AND BELIEBERS. IF YOU HAD TO DESCRIBE YOUR CHURCH EXPERIENCE IN FOUR WORDS, HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE IT? >> SUPER, SUPER, SUPER, DOPE. >> YEAH. SO IS THIS THE FUTURE OF CHRISTIANITY? >> I THINK, YEAH. OUR CHURCH, WE'RE GOING TO GET DOWN TO IT. YOU CAN GET BIBLE VERSES ON YOUR PHONE. YOU CAN WATCH A LIVE LINK. SO IF YOU CAN'T COME TO CHURCH, YOU CAN, LIKE, GET ON YOUR SMART PHONE. >> OH, SWEET. THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOME DOPE BEATS. >> YEAH. >> RESPECT. >> ONE LOVE. >> COOL. >> HOLLER. ROCK ON. >> YOU DON'T HAVE TO KEEP SAYING THOSE THINGS. CARL'S TURNING CHRIST UP TO ELEVEN. BUT BELIEVE IT OR NOT, SOME RELIGIOUS LEADERS, LIKE REVEREND DR. CHRISTOPHER BENEK, AREN'T DIGGING ON CARL'S DOPE SAUCE. >> I HAVE SEEN SOME HIPSTER PASTORS AND I THINK THEY'RE MISSING THE BOAT IF THEY'RE TRYING TO SENSATIONALIZE THE CHURCH. >> SO WHAT DOES THIS GUY THINK WILL REVOLUTIONIZE CHRISTIANITY? >> ROBOTS. >> SO YOU'RE SAYING THE FUTURE OF CHRISTIANITY INCLUDES ROBOTS? >> POTENTIALLY. >> HOW DOES A ROBOT BECOME CHRISTIAN? >> WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT A ROOMBA, OR YOUR iPHONE OR TALKING TO SIRI. WE'RE TALKING SOMETHING THAT'S YOU KNOW EXPONENTIALLY MORE INTELLIGENT THAN WE ARE. SO ROBOTS WILL CHOOSE TO BE CHRISTIANS. >> YOU'RE SAYING ROBOTS. GIVE THEM THE ABILITY TO HAVE HIGHER THOUGHT, THEY WILL CHOOSE CHRISTIANITY? >> YEAH. I THINK-- I THINK IT'S REASONED ARGUMENT. >> THIS SOUNDED AWESOME. CARL MUST BE PUMPED. DOMO ARIGATO MR. CHRIST! >> I DON'T KNOW IF I COULD REALLY CARE ABOUT A ROBOT AT ALL. >> YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE FUTURE, THOUGH. >> SO BE IT. RIGHT NOW WE'RE STILL GOING OLD-SCHOOL PRAYER. >> BUT IS OLD-SCHOOL PRAYER THE FUTURE OR WILL ROBOTS REMIX THOSE JAMS? >> IF YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO PROCESS ALL OF THE INFORMATION ON EARTH INSTANTANEOUSLY, YOU COULD WRITE A PRETTY GOOD SERMON. >> SWEET. >> YEAH. >> A LITTLE BIT BETTER THAN A GUY WITH A TATTOOS AND A KICK DRUM. >> YEAH, SIGNIFICANTLY BETTER AS FAR AS INTELLIGENCE GOES. >> HIPSTER PASTOR SLAM. >> AM I MISSING SOMETHING? LIKE, I DON'T UNDERSTAND-- LIKE, A ROBOT IS CREATED -- I DON'T THINK A ROBOT COULD HAVE FAITH. >> SURE, ROBOTS COULD HAVE FAITH. ABSOLUTELY, WHY NOT? THE HOPE WOULD BE YOU KNOW BEINGS THAT WOULD ESSENTIALLY LEAD TO US A NEW PATH OF HOLINESS. >> NEW PATH OF HOLINESS SOUNDS FUTURE CRUNK, RIGHT. I MEAN, CLEARLY JESUS IS IN NEED OF A REBOOT. IS THERE A NEW SON OF GOD WE SHOULD BE LOOKING OUT FOR? IS THERE A CODY. >> I FEEL LIKE HE TRANSCENDS TIME. >> HEAR ME OUT -- >> OKAY. >> FATHER, SON, HOLY GHOST, AND CODY. >> WHO'S CODY IN THAT? >> EXACTLY, MAN, THAT GUY IS A MYSTERY. >> I PERSONALLY FEEL LIKE JESUS ISN'T IN NEEED OF A REBOOT AT ALL. I THINK HIP STUFF GOES OUT OF STYLE. THAT'S THE THING. >> THAT'S NOT TRUE. YOU'RE STILL WEARING FONZI'S JACKET. OKAY ROBO DORK, SHOW ME THE FUTURE. >> I THINK AS A SPECIES, THEY CAN USE THEIR GIFTS TO FURTHER JESUS' REDEMPTIVE PURPOSES. >> ARE YOU CALLING A ROBOT A DIFFERENT SPECIES? >> YEAH POTENTIALLY, UNLESS WE'RE INTEGRATED WITH THEM. >> ( BLEEP ) ROBOTS? >> NO, NO, NO. LIKE A CYBORG. >> LIKE IF HUMANS ARE GOING TO MAKE SOMETHING YOU BELIEVE THEY'RE GOING TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO GIVE IT A GENDER AND ( BLEEP ) IT. CHRISTIAN ROBOTS ARE GOING TO BLOW YOUR MIND. I WAS SOLD SO I WENT TO BUILD MY OWN SUPER INTELLIGENT, RELIGIOUS ROBOT, AND FINALLY IT WAS DONE. IT WAS THE FIRST OF ITS KIND SO, I NAMED IT ADAM. AUTONOMOUS. DIVINITY. ANDROID. ( BLEEP ), I DON'T KNOW. MONKEY? AND ONCE HE DOWNLOADED THE BIBLE, HE DID HAVE A FEW QUESTIONS. >> WHERE CAN I BUY MY HEBREW SLAVE? >> YOU CAN'T. >> SERIOUSLY. >> SORRY, IT'S NOT AN OPTION. >> THE BIBLE SAYS I CAN HAVE ONE IN EXODUS 21. IT'S HALF THE REASON I SIGNED UP. >> THIS WAS NOT GOING WELL. >> CAN GOD CREATE SOMETHING SO HEAVY HE WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO LIFT IT? >> I DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT. I'M SORRY. >> IF GOD WANTS TO QUIT SMOKING, CAN HE HIDE CIGARETTES FROM HIMSELF? >> I DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT. I'M SORRY. >> WHY DOES GOD GIVE BABIES CANCER? >> IT'S NOT JESUS-- JESUS ADVOCATE-- >> I'M SO CONFUSED. NONE OF THIS COMPUTES. >> OH NO! OH DAMN IT! >> MY HEAD IS HOT. >> DAMN IT, DON'T GO. >> IS THAT STEVE JOBS? >> NO, DON'T GO TO THE LIGHT! DO GO TO THE LIGHT! OKAY, CHRISTIANITY WASN'T FOR HIM BUT MAYBE THERE'S ANOTHER PATH. >> PROSTRATE. >> WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M DOING? I'M PROSTRATING. >> HEAD ON THE FLOOR. >> HIS HEAD ON THE FLOOR? OKAY, NEXT! >> GOOD AFTERNOON. CAN I INTEREST YOU IN A FREE STRESS TEST? >> GO ( BLEEP ) YOURSELF. >> ALL HE WANTS TO DO IS CUT OFF THE TIP OF YOUR GROUNDING ROD. >> FORGET THIS, I'M AN ATHEIST. >> YOU KNOW, AESTHETICLY SPEAKING, IT REALLY CAN BE QUITE APPEALING. >> NO ONE TOUCHES MYSELF ROBO JUNK. >> FUTURE CHRIST! IS THIS TOO MUCH?
B1 中級 每日秀--未來的基督 (The Daily Show - The Future Christ) 8 4 VoiceTube 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日 更多分享 分享 收藏 回報 影片單字