Placeholder Image

字幕列表 影片播放

  • CHRISTIANITY HAS A LONG HISTORY,

  • ALMOST AS LONG AS THE JEWS-- NOT THAT, OBVIOUSLY, NOT THAT

  • IT'S A COMPETITION OR ANYTHING.

  • WE'VE JUST OBVIOUSLY BEEN AROUND FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS LONG.

  • THE POINT IS THIS, WHAT IS THE FUTURE OF CHRISTIANITY?

  • JORDAN KLEPPER INVESTIGATES.

  • >> CHRISTIAN CHURCH ATTENDANCE IN THE UNITED STATES CONTINUES

  • TO DWINDLE, BUT ACCORDING TO THE NEW YORK TIMES, THERE WAS ONE

  • PASTOR CARL LENTZ WHO WAS DRAWING RECORD CROWDS

  • WITH AN INNOVATIVE STYLE.

  • BUT WAS HE THE REAL DEAL?

  • EXCUSE ME, YOUNG ROCK BAND MEMBER, I'M LOOKING FOR A STUFFY

  • OLD PASTOR WHO SAYS HE HAS A MODERN TWIST ON CHRISTIANITY.

  • >> I THINK YOU'RE LOOKING FOR ME.

  • >> THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

  • >> YEAH, YEAH. WE'RE GOING TO-- LET'S JUST HUG IT OUT.

  • >> YEAH, THAT. YEAH.

  • THAT FEELS RIGHT.

  • >> GREAT TO MEET YOU.

  • >> YEAH, GOOD TO HANG OUT WITH YOU, MEET YOU.

  • >> YEAH. YEAH.

  • >> COOL.

  • WAS I FACE TO FACE WITH THE FUTURE OF CHRISTIANITY?

  • FUTURE CHRIST.

  • COPYRIGHT JORDAN KLEPPER.

  • PASTOR LENTZ HAD IT ALL.

  • SKINNY JEANS, THE DOUCHE BEANIE AND HE PLAYED GRAND THEFT AUTO

  • IN GORE MODE.

  • IN SOLD-OUT STADIUMS ACROSS THE COUNTRY THIS GUY HAD BOTH

  • BELIEVERS AND BELIEBERS.

  • IF YOU HAD TO DESCRIBE YOUR CHURCH EXPERIENCE IN FOUR WORDS,

  • HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE IT?

  • >> SUPER, SUPER, SUPER, DOPE.

  • >> YEAH.

  • SO IS THIS THE FUTURE OF CHRISTIANITY?

  • >> I THINK, YEAH.

  • OUR CHURCH, WE'RE GOING TO GET DOWN TO IT.

  • YOU CAN GET BIBLE VERSES ON YOUR PHONE.

  • YOU CAN WATCH A LIVE LINK.

  • SO IF YOU CAN'T COME TO CHURCH, YOU CAN, LIKE, GET ON YOUR SMART

  • PHONE.

  • >> OH, SWEET.

  • THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOME DOPE BEATS.

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> RESPECT.

  • >> ONE LOVE.

  • >> COOL.

  • >> HOLLER.

  • ROCK ON.

  • >> YOU DON'T HAVE TO KEEP SAYING THOSE THINGS.

  • CARL'S TURNING CHRIST UP TO ELEVEN.

  • BUT BELIEVE IT OR NOT, SOME RELIGIOUS LEADERS, LIKE REVEREND

  • DR. CHRISTOPHER BENEK, AREN'T DIGGING ON CARL'S DOPE SAUCE.

  • >> I HAVE SEEN SOME HIPSTER PASTORS AND I THINK THEY'RE

  • MISSING THE BOAT IF THEY'RE TRYING TO SENSATIONALIZE

  • THE CHURCH.

  • >> SO WHAT DOES THIS GUY THINK WILL REVOLUTIONIZE CHRISTIANITY?

  • >> ROBOTS.

  • >> SO YOU'RE SAYING THE FUTURE OF CHRISTIANITY INCLUDES ROBOTS?

  • >> POTENTIALLY.

  • >> HOW DOES A ROBOT BECOME CHRISTIAN?

  • >> WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT A ROOMBA, OR YOUR iPHONE

  • OR TALKING TO SIRI.

  • WE'RE TALKING SOMETHING THAT'S YOU KNOW EXPONENTIALLY MORE

  • INTELLIGENT THAN WE ARE.

  • SO ROBOTS WILL CHOOSE TO BE CHRISTIANS.

  • >> YOU'RE SAYING ROBOTS.

  • GIVE THEM THE ABILITY TO HAVE HIGHER THOUGHT, THEY WILL

  • CHOOSE CHRISTIANITY?

  • >> YEAH.

  • I THINK-- I THINK IT'S REASONED ARGUMENT.

  • >> THIS SOUNDED AWESOME.

  • CARL MUST BE PUMPED.

  • DOMO ARIGATO MR. CHRIST!

  • >> I DON'T KNOW IF I COULD REALLY CARE ABOUT A ROBOT AT

  • ALL.

  • >> YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE FUTURE, THOUGH.

  • >> SO BE IT.

  • RIGHT NOW WE'RE STILL GOING OLD-SCHOOL PRAYER.

  • >> BUT IS OLD-SCHOOL PRAYER THE FUTURE OR WILL ROBOTS REMIX

  • THOSE JAMS?

  • >> IF YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO PROCESS ALL OF THE INFORMATION

  • ON EARTH INSTANTANEOUSLY, YOU COULD WRITE A PRETTY GOOD

  • SERMON.

  • >> SWEET.

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> A LITTLE BIT BETTER THAN A GUY WITH A TATTOOS AND A KICK

  • DRUM.

  • >> YEAH, SIGNIFICANTLY BETTER AS FAR AS INTELLIGENCE GOES.

  • >> HIPSTER PASTOR SLAM.

  • >> AM I MISSING SOMETHING?

  • LIKE, I DON'T UNDERSTAND-- LIKE, A ROBOT IS CREATED -- I DON'T

  • THINK A ROBOT COULD HAVE FAITH.

  • >> SURE, ROBOTS COULD HAVE FAITH.

  • ABSOLUTELY, WHY NOT?

  • THE HOPE WOULD BE YOU KNOW BEINGS THAT WOULD

  • ESSENTIALLY LEAD TO US A NEW PATH OF HOLINESS.

  • >> NEW PATH OF HOLINESS SOUNDS FUTURE CRUNK, RIGHT.

  • I MEAN, CLEARLY JESUS IS IN NEED OF A REBOOT.

  • IS THERE A NEW SON OF GOD WE SHOULD BE LOOKING OUT FOR?

  • IS THERE A CODY.

  • >> I FEEL LIKE HE TRANSCENDS TIME.

  • >> HEAR ME OUT -- >> OKAY.

  • >> FATHER, SON, HOLY GHOST, AND CODY.

  • >> WHO'S CODY IN THAT?

  • >> EXACTLY, MAN, THAT GUY IS A MYSTERY.

  • >> I PERSONALLY FEEL LIKE JESUS ISN'T IN NEEED OF A REBOOT

  • AT ALL.

  • I THINK HIP STUFF GOES OUT OF STYLE.

  • THAT'S THE THING.

  • >> THAT'S NOT TRUE.

  • YOU'RE STILL WEARING FONZI'S JACKET.

  • OKAY ROBO DORK, SHOW ME THE FUTURE.

  • >> I THINK AS A SPECIES, THEY CAN USE THEIR GIFTS TO FURTHER

  • JESUS' REDEMPTIVE PURPOSES.

  • >> ARE YOU CALLING A ROBOT A DIFFERENT SPECIES?

  • >> YEAH POTENTIALLY, UNLESS WE'RE INTEGRATED WITH THEM.

  • >> ( BLEEP ) ROBOTS?

  • >> NO, NO, NO. LIKE A CYBORG.

  • >> LIKE IF HUMANS ARE GOING TO MAKE SOMETHING YOU BELIEVE

  • THEY'RE GOING TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO GIVE IT A GENDER

  • AND ( BLEEP ) IT.

  • CHRISTIAN ROBOTS ARE GOING TO BLOW YOUR MIND.

  • I WAS SOLD SO I WENT TO BUILD MY OWN SUPER INTELLIGENT,

  • RELIGIOUS ROBOT, AND FINALLY IT WAS DONE.

  • IT WAS THE FIRST OF ITS KIND SO, I NAMED IT ADAM.

  • AUTONOMOUS.

  • DIVINITY.

  • ANDROID.

  • ( BLEEP ), I DON'T KNOW.

  • MONKEY?

  • AND ONCE HE DOWNLOADED THE BIBLE, HE DID HAVE A FEW

  • QUESTIONS.

  • >> WHERE CAN I BUY MY HEBREW SLAVE?

  • >> YOU CAN'T.

  • >> SERIOUSLY.

  • >> SORRY, IT'S NOT AN OPTION.

  • >> THE BIBLE SAYS I CAN HAVE ONE IN EXODUS 21.

  • IT'S HALF THE REASON I SIGNED UP.

  • >> THIS WAS NOT GOING WELL.

  • >> CAN GOD CREATE SOMETHING SO HEAVY HE WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO

  • LIFT IT?

  • >> I DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT. I'M SORRY.

  • >> IF GOD WANTS TO QUIT SMOKING, CAN HE HIDE CIGARETTES FROM

  • HIMSELF?

  • >> I DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT. I'M SORRY.

  • >> WHY DOES GOD GIVE BABIES CANCER?

  • >> IT'S NOT JESUS-- JESUS ADVOCATE--

  • >> I'M SO CONFUSED. NONE OF THIS COMPUTES.

  • >> OH NO! OH DAMN IT!

  • >> MY HEAD IS HOT.

  • >> DAMN IT, DON'T GO.

  • >> IS THAT STEVE JOBS?

  • >> NO, DON'T GO TO THE LIGHT!

  • DO GO TO THE LIGHT!

  • OKAY, CHRISTIANITY WASN'T FOR HIM BUT MAYBE THERE'S ANOTHER

  • PATH.

  • >> PROSTRATE.

  • >> WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M DOING? I'M PROSTRATING.

  • >> HEAD ON THE FLOOR.

  • >> HIS HEAD ON THE FLOOR?

  • OKAY, NEXT!

  • >> GOOD AFTERNOON.

  • CAN I INTEREST YOU IN A FREE STRESS TEST?

  • >> GO ( BLEEP ) YOURSELF.

  • >> ALL HE WANTS TO DO IS CUT OFF THE TIP OF YOUR GROUNDING ROD.

  • >> FORGET THIS, I'M AN ATHEIST.

  • >> YOU KNOW, AESTHETICLY SPEAKING,

  • IT REALLY CAN BE QUITE APPEALING.

  • >> NO ONE TOUCHES MYSELF ROBO JUNK.

  • >> FUTURE CHRIST! IS THIS TOO MUCH?

CHRISTIANITY HAS A LONG HISTORY,

字幕與單字

單字即點即查 點擊單字可以查詢單字解釋

B1 中級

每日秀--未來的基督 (The Daily Show - The Future Christ)

  • 8 4
    VoiceTube 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
影片單字