字幕列表 影片播放 列印英文字幕 AND IT IS ALSO OUR FINAL SHOW OF 2015. A SPECIAL OCCASION, AS I'M SURE YOU CAN TELL BY THE FACT THAT I'M WEARING UNDERWEAR. TONIGHT WE LOOK BACK ON SOME OF OUR FAVORITE STORIES TO HAVE THE LAST 12 MONTHS IN OUR END OF YEAR REVIEW. I WAS SUPPOSED TO UPDATE THAT. THAT'S THE OLD -- CAN YOU GUYS CHANGE? IT'S THE OLD -- THANK YOU. ALL RIGHT, SO THIS WAS -- OKAY, YEAH -- (LAUGHTER) ARE WE -- (LAUGHTER) OH, YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. "STAR WARS" TICKETS, 26 MINUTES. LET'S GET GOING, PEOPLE! ANYWAY, 2015 WAS EVENTFUL FROM THE "CHARLIE HEBDO" SHOOTINGS, TO THE PLANNED PARENTHOOD SHOOTINGS, TO THE SHOOTINGS IN MALI, TO THE PARIS AND SAN BERNARDINO SHOOTINGS. 2015 WAS A (BLEEP) YEAR. BUT A LOT OF FUN STORIES TO REMEMBER. REMEMBER WHEN A PIECE OF FABRIC DIVIDED A NATION. YEAH. NO, NOT THAT ONE. THE FUN ONE. THE FUN ONE. YEAH. YEAH. (APPLAUSE) 2015 WAS ALSO STRANGELY THE YEAR OF 2016. IT'S THE PRESIDENTIAL RACE AND THE TWO SIDES COULDN'T BE MORE DIFFERENT. ON THE D. J. SIDE ALL CANDIDATES COULD GET TO THE DEBATE ON ONE MOTORCYCLE. WHILE THE REPUBLICANS, I GUESS TECHNICALLY THEY COULD ALSO DO THAT IF THEY WANTED -- (LAUGHTER) I MEAN... AND 2015 WAS ALSO A BIG YEAR FOR GAY RIGHTS. IN JUNE THE SUPREME COURT LEGALIZED SAME-SEX MARRIAGE IN ALL 50 STATES! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) YES! THAT'S RIGHT! BUT, UNFORTUNATELY, SOME PEOPLE WERE UNHAPPY, LIKE THE KENTUCKY COUNTY CLERK KIM DAVIS WHO WAS ARARRESTED FOR REFUSING TO ISSUE MARRIAGE LICENSES AS THE LAW REQUIRED AND AFTER A WEEK IN JAIL SHE HAD HER OWN COMING OUT PARTY. >> A PERSON WHOSE COURAGE EXCEEDS THAT OF 99.9% OF THE POLITICIANS OF THIS COUNTRY AND, SADLY, THAT EXCEEDS A BUNCH OF EVEN THE PASTORS OF THIS COUNTRY, WOULD YOU PLEASE HELP ME WELCOME TO THE STAGE KIM DAVIS! (THEME FROM "ROCKY" PLAYING) >> Trevor: THAT REALLY HAPPENED. (LAUGHTER) WE DIDN'T CHANGE ANYTHING OR ADD THAT MUSIC. MIKE HUCKABEE PLAYED "EYE OF THE TIGER" FOR KIM DAVIS LIKE SHE WAS ROCKY AND GAY MARRIAGE WAS MR. T OR SOMETHING. (LAUGHTER) IT WAS SO INSANE. IT WAS ALSO A BIG YEAR FOR THINGS VIRAL, AND FOR THAT WE TURN TO JESSICA WILLIAMS, EVERYBODY! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> THANK YOU, TREVOR. I HAVE BEEN ANALYZING ALL OF THE SOCIAL-CYBER-VIRAL MEME DATA, AND THIS YEAR'S WINNER BUT A CANADIAN MILE WAS DRAKE AND VIDEO FOR "HOTLINE BLING." IT WAS A HAUNTING PORTRAYAL OF MAN HAVING A SEIZURE INSIDE OF A TANNING BED. YES, VIRAL MEDIA WAS HUGE IN 2015. HOW HUGE? "KYLIE'S LIPS" HUGE. 2015 WAS ALL ABOUT CHALLENGES INCLUDING THE "KYLIE JENNER LIP CHALLENGE" WHERE KIDS SUCKED ON SHOT GLASSES TO GET THEIR LIPS (BLEEP) UP. THEY LOVE THE SEXY FISH LOOK. THAT'S PRETTY MUCH MY WHOLE 2015 -- OH, WAIT. WE BID FAREWELL TO A VIRAL HEAVYWEIGHT THAT DIED THIS YEAR. EBOLA. FINALLY ELIMINATED IN MOST PARTS OF AFRICA. BUT THINGS ARE LOOKING UP TO YOU IN 2016, EBOLA. WAIT, TREVOR, YOU AREN'T GOING TO AFRICA THIS CHRISTMAS, ARE YOU? >> Trevor: WELL, NOT ALL OF IT. (LAUGHTER) >> OKAY, WELL, DON'T COME BACK, OKAY? >> Trevor: WHY ARE YOU SUCH A DICK, JESS? >> SORRY, IT'S IN MY NATURE. >> Trevor: YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL! JESSICA WILLIAMS, EVERYBODY! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) ON A SLIGHTLY SADDER NOTE, THERE WAS ALSO THE YEARS OF THE "BLACK LIVES MATTER" MOVEMENT, WITH TENSIONS BETWEEN THE COMMUNITY AND THE POLICE-- >> TREVOR, STOP BEING SUCH A BUZZKILL, MAN! DAMN! >> Trevor: IT'S ROY WOOD JUNIOR, EVERYBODY! >> YEAH! DUDE! ENOUGH WITH THE "BLACK LIVES MATTER" STUFF, YOU'RE MAKING EVERYONE DEPRESSED. I'M HERE WITH GOOD NEWS FROM 2015 TO CHEER EVERYONE UP. >> TURING PHARMACEUTICAL C.E.O. MARTIN SHKRELI FOCUSED PUBLIC OUTRAGE AFTER HIS COMPANY LIKED THE PRICE OF DARAPRIM FROM $13.50 TO $750 A PILL. >> IT'S USED TO TREAT WEAKENED IMMUNE SYSTEM, TO PREGNANT WOMEN AND PEOPLE WITH AIDS. >> SOME DOUCHE BAG WAS CHARGING $750 FOR AN AIDS PILL. >> Trevor: I THOUGHT YOU SAID GOOD NEWS. >> TREVOR, WAIT FOR IT! >> MARTIN SHKRELI PURCHASING THE SOLE COPY OF THE WU TANG CLAN'S SECRET ALBUM. >> MARTIN SHKRELI REPORTEDLY SPENT $2 MILLION FOR THE ONLY COPY OF THE WU TANG CLAN ALBUM. THE RECORD TOOK SIX YEARS TO MAKE, THEY ONLY MADE THE ONE AND MARTIN SAYS HE'S NOT EVEN GOING TO PLAY IT. >> THEN HE BOUGHT THE ONLY WU TANG CLAN ALBUM AND HE SAYS HE'S NOT EVEN GOING TO PLAY IT! >> Trevor: THAT YOUNG DIRTY BASTARD! >> BUT WAIT... BREAKING NEWS THIS MORNING, THE DRUG COMPANY C.E.O. WHO RAISED THE PRICE OF A LIFE-SAVING PILL BY MORE THAN 5,000% HAS BEEN ARRESTED. FACES CHARGES OF SECURITIES FRAUD... (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> 'CAUSE THE WU TANG CLAN AIN'T NOTHIN' TO (BLEEP) WITH! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) YOU'RE WELCOME, TREVOR! AND BLACK LIVES MATTER! >> Trevor: ROY WOOD JUNIOR, EVERYBODY! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) AH, 2015. ONE OF MY FAVO FAVORITE STORIES WAS WHEN AMERICA FREAKED OUT OVER A CLOCK BOY, A MUSLIM TEENAGE BOY IN TEXAS WHO CAME TO SCHOOL WITH A CLOCK WHO SOME PEOPLE THOUGHT COULD BE A BOMB. >> HIS ENGINEERING TEACHER TOLD HIM TO KEEP IT OUT OF SIGHT. >> BUT THE CLOCK SPOOKED THE ENGLISH TEACHER WHO TOLD THE PRINCIPAL WHO TOLD POLICE. >> Trevor: YEAH, SNITCHED ON BY HIS ENGLISH TEACHER. WHY ARE TEACHERS ALWAYS SUCH BITCHES? (LAUGHTER) YEAH, I SAID IT. MR. SAMUELS. I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU. HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW? (LAUGHTER) YOU STILL THINK I'M NOT LIVING UP TO MY FULL POTENTIAL, HUH? WHAT'S THAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU! BECAUSE I'M ON TELEVISION! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) THAT'S RIGHT! I'M ON TV... AND YOU DIED OF THROAT CANCER 12 YEARS AGO. (AUDIENCE REACTS) I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERY DAY. AND I CHERISH WHAT YOU TAUGHT ME. I MISS YOU. (LAUGHTER) JORDAN KLEPPER, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT FOR US? >> HEY! TREVOR! HOW'S IT GOING, MAN? (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) THEY TELL ME THAT I GOT THE BAD BOY SEGMENT WHICH MAKES SENSE BECAUSE EVERYBODY KNOWS I'M THE BAD BOY ON THE STAFF. LET ME TELL YOU, THIS ISN'T THE FIRST BEER I'VE HAD THIS WEEK. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. NOW, WE ARE THE GANGSTAS OF 2015 WHO DID WHAT WE WANTED WHEN WE WANTED AND EVERYONE LOVED US FOR US, SO WHO AM I ADDING TO MY BAD BOY CREW? (BLEEP) NO, THE WRONG KIND OF BAD BOY. I MEAN BAD BOY LIKE SMOKING CIGARETTES AND LOITERING OUTSIDE THE STORE. I WANT A REAL BAD BOY THAT CAN ROLL IN MY CREW LIKE THIS GUY. (BLEEP). NO. >> Trevor: THAT'S ROBERT DURST WHO KILL ALL THOSE PEOPLE. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, MAN? >>THAT'S NOT ME, YOU KNOW ME! >> Trevor: I DON'T KNOW IF I DO. >> I DIDN'T MEAN BAD BOYS LIKE "BAD" BOYS, I MEAN COOL PEOPLE LIKE ME, KIND OF DANGEROUS BUT CAN STILL APPEAL TO THE KIDS. NO! NO! NO! NO! THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT! THESE GUYS ARE NOT IN MY CREW! WHO MAKES THESE (BLEEP)? WHAT IS THIS? NO! SHUT IT DOWN! SORRY! TREVOR, I'M SORRY! >> Trevor: JORDAN, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? DIDN'T YOU REHEARSE? >> I SKIPPED REHEARSAL BECAUSE I'M A BAD BOY! >> Trevor: OKAY. THANK YOU, JORDAN KLEPPER, EVERYBODY. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) I GUESS 2015 WAS ALSO THE YEAR WE SAID GOODBYE TO JORDAN KLEPPER. >> OH, GOD! OH! >> Trevor: GO AWAY, JORDAN! AND NOW HERE'S DESI LYDIC AND HASAN MINHAJ! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> THANK YOU, TREVOR! WELL, THIS WAS THE YEAR THE U.S. GOVERNMENT FINALLY SAID IT WOULD PUT A WOMAN ON THE $10 BILL, AND THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT WOMEN WHO DESERVE THIS HONOR. HERE ARE TWO WHO DEFINITELY DON'T. FIRST THE HUNGARIAN CAMERA WOMAN WHO TRIPPED SYRIAN REFUGEES INCLUDING ONE CARRYING HIS CHILD. WOW, LOOKS LIKE TRUMP FINALLY FOUND HIS RUNNINGMATE. >> YEAH, BUT LET'S NOT OVERLOOK ANOTHER STRONG CONTENDER FOR NOT BEING ON THE $10 BILL, RACHEL DOLEZHAL. >> VERY TRUE, BUT SHE WOULD PROBABLY MAKE IT ON TO A COUNTERFEIT $10 BILL. SHE WAS OF THE ROSA PARKS PEOPLE WHO SHOULDN'T BE ASSOCIATED WITH ROSA PARKS. >> WE ALL PRETENDED TO BE BLACK TO GET INTO COLLEGE BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS. >> DID WHAT? TREVOR... >> Trevor: THANK YOU. DESI LYDIC AND HASAN MINHAJ, EVERYBODY! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) AND TO WRAP UP THE ANIMALS, WE ARE JOINED BY BY RONNY CHIENG! >> THANKS, TREVOR. HERE ARE THIS YEAR'S TOP ANIMAL STORIES. FIRST UP, PIZZA RAT. >> WHO DOESN'T LOVE PIZZA! COME ON, THIS IS ONE DETERMINED RAT CAUGHT ON CAMERA. THIS WAS SHOT IN THE FIRST AVENUE L TRAIN STATION. >> THE PIZZA RAT THAT BECAME FAMOUS FOR DRAGGING A PIECE OF PIZZA DOWN SUBWAY STAIRS. YOU KNOW HOW MANY HITS THIS STUPID VIDEO GOT? 8 MILLION HITS! IT'S A RAT DRAGGING A SLICE OF PIZZA DOWN, LIKE, TWO STEPS! (LAUGHTER) HE'S NOT EVEN GOING UP THE STAIRS! HE'S GOING DOWN THE STAIRS! YO... GRAVITY IS DOIFG MOST THE WORK! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE IMPRESSED? THAT SHOULD CALLED GRAVITY PIZZA FEATURING A RAT. PIZZA RAT DOESN'T EVEN EAT THE PIZZA! HE JUST DRAGS IT AND RUNS AWAY! 8 MILLION HITS! PEOPLE TREATING HIM LIKE HE'S SOME KIND OF HERO? HE'S JUST A QUITTER! (LAUGHTER) THAT IS WHAT'S WRONG WITH AMERICA TODAY, GIVING TROPHIES TO RATS. NOT EVEN SPECIAL RATS. ANYONE CAN DO THAT. LOOK AT ME! I'M TRACKING A SLICE OF PIZZA AROUND. JUST DRAGGING IT AROUND, NOT EATING IT. QUICK, SOMEONE GIVE ME A MOVIE DEAL! >> Trevor: ALL RIGHT, WELL, THAT WAS WEIRD, RONNY CHIENG, EVERYBODY! THANKS, RONNY AND THE WHOLE "THE DAILY SHOW" NEWS TEAM.
B1 中級 每日秀》--2015年度回顧 (The Daily Show - The 2015 Year in Review) 5 1 VoiceTube 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日 更多分享 分享 收藏 回報 影片單字