host of last week tonight

Last Week Tonight的主持人

and we're off this week for the fourth of July

因為七月四號的關係我們這禮拜休假

but I wanted to make a video

但我還是想拍個影片

to wish everyone a happy independence day

來祝福大家有一個美好的國慶日

or they call it where I'm from July the fourth and that's it

或是我的國家稱之為七月的第四天

I do hope you have a great day of resting , barbecuing

希望你們都能在這天好好的休息，烤肉

and preparing to explain your weird tan lines to your coworkers on Tuesday

和在星期二的時候，向同事解釋你怪異的曬痕

I fell asleep outside with my hat on backwards

我在外面睡著了而且我還反戴我的帽子

and now my forehead looks like a sunset

所以我的額頭現在看起來像日落

I just like to take a quick moment

我只是想要快速的

to remind you of what's you're missing out on by celebrating your independence

提醒你們你還錯過了什麼

by celebrating your independence

在你慶祝國慶日的同時

because as you know since 1776

就如同你們所知道的，從1776年開始

you've done very well as a nation

你們獨立變成了一個國家，這很棒

but it might be worth thinking about

但很值得發人省思的是

just a handful of things that you gave up

你們放棄了少部分的事

when kicking Britain on ceremoniously out of this country

當你們隆重的把英國踢出你們的國家

because first there's the matter of your accents

第一，關於你們的發音

these beautiful vowel sounds could have been yours

我們發出的這美麗的母音，原本你們也該要會的

but instead from sea to shining sea

但是整個美國

you speak like you just burn your tongue on a hot apple pie

你們的口音聽起來像你們在吃蘋果派的時候燙到舌頭

you are also missing out on bowler hats

你們也錯過了圓頂禮帽

which are prefect for dressing your head

他們是很棒的裝飾髮型的東西

like an circumcised velvet penis

像一個行過割禮的男性生殖器

and that is not even mentioning all the cuisine that you lost

還沒提到你們錯過的美食

for example

舉例來說

meat pies which a lot like British people themselves

肉派，就很像英國人自己

a hardened outer layer gives the impression of composure

堅硬的外層給人沉穩的印象

but under the surface is just a hot mess

但表面下簡直是一團亂

but the thing that American are really missing out on is pessimism

但說真的，美國人真正缺乏的是悲觀主義

Americans are optimistic people

美國人是樂觀的民族

who believe the sky is the limit

相信天空就是極限

whereas in Britain we are painfully aware of our limits

反之，英國人費力地察覺自己的極限

in fact just look at the British sky itself

事實上，看看英國的天空

even the sun is incapable of asserting itself there

就連太陽也沒辦法穿透那長年烏雲密布的天空啊

British people never make the mistake on developing self esteem

英國人從不在建立自尊上犯錯

because no matter what we achieved deep down

因為無論我們再怎麼發展

we know we'll never be as good as the queen

永遠也無法像女王那樣強大

which is to say

我的意思是說

an elderly woman who frowns for a living

一個靠著皺眉維生的老女人，還能指望什麼呢？

so just take a moment on this

所以今年7月4號，我們

July the fourth to think about

花一些時間回顧一下

all that you left behind

你錯過了哪些東西

and I think you'll realize

我相信你會慢慢明白

honestly you're probably way better of the way the things are

事情其實可能發展得比你想像中來得好

thank you so much for watching this

謝謝你們觀看這個影片

I do enjoy your holiday

我很享受國慶日

we'll be back on HBO

我們會再回來HBO的

with a new episode on July twenty forth

到時候在七月二十四號會有一個新的影片