I've got your name tattooed on my chest, neck, and face

Let's get hitched,

right away,

or at least pick a date

I've got next week open

When do you have open?

I sent you my left ear, but you tossed it off the pier

Then said something I couldn't hear

What?

I gave you all my string and my fingernail clippings

I hope I don't sound deranged, but

I'd chop off my head for you

I just went off my meds for you

I drank a bottle of Krazy Glue

And lick a bathroom attendant's shoe

Oooh, that's good shoe

I would peel you a million grapes

And make a portrait using audiotapes

Yes, I'll protect you from robots

and futuristic apes

(Hooh)

Get your damn stinking paws off my girlfriend

You dirty ape from the future

Calm down, you crazy clown

What is wrong with you?

Stop offering things that you'll never have to do

Just take your pills,

pay your bills,

I don't want you dead

Why would I want a boyfriend who doesn't have a head?

A little pot of glass pull ma hard on through my ass

You know what you could do for me

What baby?

The dishes and the trash, let's take that tango class

Then watch some live time TV

I'll shop at Target with you

Buy you tickets to Dave Matthews

I'll go to brunch with your bookclub friends

I'll tell you that: "You're not fat" again

This nightmare never ends

I would rather eat fifty grenades

and wear a speedo made of razor blades

Than have to deal with you baby

and your stupid mom

The key of awesome

Hey everybody thanks for watching another episode of key of awesome

I wanna give a big thanks to my friend Elle

And if you want to watch any of her amazing series: "What's up Elle?" ,

Click down here

Aw, thanks Mark and guys, if you want to check out more key of awesome videos, click over there

right there

I have to go to the bathroom

me too

[electric guitar]