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  • -Tammy, will you have sex with me?

  • -Having sex is for grown-ups, silly.

  • -Then let's make a pact.

  • When we're 38 years old plus a couple of months, if neither

  • of us are married, we'll find each other and have sex.

  • -OK.

  • -Promise.

  • -Promise.

  • -Yes?

  • -Hey, Tammy.

  • It's me, David.

  • -Uh, help me out.

  • -1977, the swing set on the beach.

  • We made a pact?

  • -Right.

  • So we're 38 and a couple of months, aren't we?

  • -Yes.

  • So, are you married?

  • -Well, Gordon and I have been together for 12 years.

  • We have these two beautiful kids.

  • But we never did get around to tying the knot.

  • -So you're not married?

  • -Well, technically, we're not married, but--

  • -This is terrible.

  • I have a dinner later, and so if we could start now, then I

  • could have a better chance of getting to my dinner.

  • -OK.

  • Let's go upstairs.

  • Ashley, Jacob, Mommy's going to be busy for a while, so why

  • don't you throw on a video?

  • JACOB (OFFSCREEN): OK.

  • -So, where you living these days?

  • -New York.

  • -Uh-huh.

  • You have a job?

  • -Yeah, you know, it's like doing my thing, whatever.

  • -Mmm.

  • What a real winner you turned out to be.

  • -Yeah.

  • -OK, we should do this, because the kids are going to

  • get bored with Hannah Montana in about 20 minutes and start

  • banging on the door.

  • DAVID (OFFSCREEN): OK, you know what?

  • I should just go to the bathroom first, because if I

  • don't, I'm going to feel kind of bloated and unsexy, and it

  • could be a really bad situation.

  • So let me just--

  • -How's it going in there?

  • -Just a few more minutes.

  • I'm just a little constipated.

  • I had a cheese empanada for breakfast.

  • -For breakfast?

  • -Oh, don't worry.

  • It had an egg in it.

  • -Oh, OK.

  • -Plus I had four cheese empanadas for lunch.

  • And I'm eating one right now.

  • OK.

  • I'm ready.

  • Yeah, oh, I'm having that feeling of inevitability, like

  • it's building up, like I can't stop it.

  • Oh there it is.

  • Oh, yeah.

  • Aw, Jesus.

  • Oh my god!

  • Angh, angh, angh!

  • -Oh.

  • -So?

  • -That was--

  • unexpected.

  • Life-altering.

  • David, I want to be with you.

  • Have a future with you.

  • -Uh, yeah.

  • I gotta go to work.

  • I'll call you, OK?

  • -But we have a connection.

  • How can you deny it?

  • -I can deny it 'cause I already finished, and now I'm

  • thinking about other things.

  • -But what we have is real.

  • -Yeah, for me, it was nothing but sex.

  • -Butt sex?

  • Yeah, great.

  • MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN): Tammy, I got

  • the afternoon off.

  • I thought I could take you and the kids to

  • get some ice cream.

  • Who's this?

  • -Oh, this is my friend David from elementary school.

  • -Nice to meet you, David.

  • -Gordon.

  • -OK, I'll go freshen up and, uh, then I'll take you out for

  • that ice cream that I was talking about before.

  • -Let's go.

  • We can climb out the window.

  • We can stay at my mother's for a while.

  • And-- and I can get a job, maybe go back to my

  • photography.

  • We'll make ends meet somehow.

  • You can work double shifts, at least until

  • you pay it all back.

  • Every nickel.

  • Unh!

  • Unh!

  • Unh!

  • Ah!

  • -That was for your own good.

  • You're getting hysterical.

  • Don't you see it, baby?

  • You and Gordon are meant to be together.

  • That primal physical passion that we have faces away, and

  • then what's left?

  • You.

  • Gordon.

  • Your kids.

  • Your life.

  • Now go out there and get some of that ice cream.

  • And you write me a postcard sometime.

  • -Are you ready, sweets?

  • -(WHISPERING): Go.

  • Just go.

  • -It was nice to see you, David.

  • -Nice to see you too, Tammy.

  • -[BREATHY SOB]

  • -Nice to meet you, David.

  • -Yeah.

  • Get yourself a big ice cream cone for me, will you?

  • With all the sprinkles.

  • -OK.

  • Come on, honey.

  • -Bye-bye now.

  • Now go out there and kick some ass.

  • -So are you just gonna be hanging out in

  • our bedroom, or?

  • -Yeah.

  • Probably for a little while.

  • -It's OK, honey.

  • [SOBS]

  • [SOBS LOUDLY]

  • -(WEEPING) I wish I had had butt sex with her.

  • It would have felt so good.

  • -Man's natural state is violence.

  • -Hello, evolve.

  • We have to rise above our baser instincts.

  • We're intelligent beings, for god's sake.

  • -You want higher beings, go toke a doob.

  • My name's Cheryl, by the way.

  • -I'm David.

  • Nnngh!

  • -Oh.

  • [MUSIC - MR. BLUE, "THE TEN THEME"]

-Tammy, will you have sex with me?

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A2 初級

Wainy Days #14'The Pact' (Ken Marino) (Wainy Days #14 'The Pact' (Ken Marino))

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    紅謹 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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