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  • [sad music]

    (悲情音樂)

  • [all crying softly]

    (所有人泣不成聲)

  • - She looks so perfect.

    -她看起來是這麼的美麗

  • - Yeah, you'd barely even know her intestines

    -是啊,那是因為你根本就不知道

  • were splattered all over the asphalt.

    她在馬路上被輾得肚破腸流

  • - They did a great job packing them all back in.

    -還不多虧大體化妝師幫祂縫得好好的

  • - Mads, you'll always be one of us.

    -麥姿,祢永遠是我們的好夥伴

  • Just because you're dead

    可是啊,就算祢死了

  • doesn't mean I won't stop busting your balls.

    我也不會停止開祢的玩笑喔 (譯註: busting one's balls指和某人開玩笑)

  • - That's exactly why you should stop.

    -死者最大,你不要亂講話好不好?

  • - Lori, have some respect.

    -羅莉,妳馬幫幫好

  • Now she just looks stupid!

    看祂現在的樣子多愚蠢啊

  • [crying continues] - He's right.

    (繼續哭著) -他說得沒錯啊

  • I can't go half mustache.

    我只有半邊有鬍子確實滿蠢的

  • - Mads, you--you're--

    -麥姿,祢..祢怎麼會...

  • - I'm a ghost, bitches.

    -我現在是鬼啊,呆瓜

  • [all screaming]

    (所有人尖叫)

  • [playful music]

    (俏皮音樂)

  • - [man singing] This is America

    - (男聲) 這裡是美國

  • Land of dreams

    夢想的發源之地

  • Everyone can climb higher

    每個人都能高高在上

  • - [women singing] Not you, though

    - (女聲) 你錯了

  • You're stuck here

    你明知道自己被困在這裡

  • 'Cause you're a part-timer, yeah

    因為你只是個實習工讀生,耶~

  • - [man singing] You can do anything

    - (男聲) 想做什麼都隨心所欲

  • - [woman singing] As long as it's not hard

    - (女聲) 前提是不要太難

  • - [man singing] And you can go anywhere

    - (男聲) 想去哪玩也隨心所欲

  • - [woman singing] As soon as you get a car

    - (女聲) 前提是你得有車

  • - [man singing] You're gonna be a huge success

    - (男聲) 你就能坐擁天下

  • - [woman singing] Come on, that's not who you are

    - (女聲) 拜託,你以為你是誰?

  • - [man singing] You're a part-timer cursed

    - (男聲) 實習工讀生是一種詛咒

  • With full-time dreams

    雖然你充滿夢想

  • And this low-paying job is as bad as it seems

    但薪水就跟表面看起來一樣的糟

  • Bad as it seems

    一樣糟糕

  • What the [bleep] are you doing here?

    你到底是吃錯什麼藥?

  • Whoa

    哇喔

  • What the [bleep] are you doing here?

    到底為什麼要來這裡啊?

  • Oh~

    喔~

  • Seriously, dude? - Like, what the [bleep]?

    兄弟,認真的嗎? -你到底在這裡做什麼啊?

  • Part Timers Season II - Episode 20

    實習工讀生第2季 第20集(最終回-下)

  • [all screaming]

    (所有人尖叫)

  • - Guys, guys, why are we screaming?

    -各位各位,你們幹嘛一直尖叫啊?

  • - Ghost Mads and her brain from hell

    -變鬼的麥姿從地獄裡爬出來

  • are standing right there!

    祂現在就站在那邊!

  • - I don't see anything.

    -我什麼都沒看到啊

  • [all shouting]

    (所有人叫喊著)

  • - She's waving at you. - Oh, my God.

    -祂在跟你揮手啊 -喔我的天啊

  • [whispering] I can't see dead people.

    (低語) 我看不到鬼啦

  • - Mads, if only you just fell off the building

    -麥姿,要是祢當初沒有摔下去

  • and not also got ran over.

    也沒被車輾過就好了

  • Oh, why, oh, why does Pork E. Pine's

    喔,為什麼啦,喔,為什麼我們餐廳

  • have to be next to a car wash?

    剛好就在洗車場旁邊呢!?

  • - Pete, don't worry.

    -皮特,你別這樣

  • Dying really wasn't all that bad.

    死亡又沒有真的那麼糟

  • You know that feeling of peeing in a wet suit--

    你懂那種就是把褲子尿濕...

  • warm, cozy, you know you shouldn't be doing it,

    溫暖又舒服的感覺嗎,雖然你明知道不該這樣做

  • but it feels so good?

    但感覺真的滿不錯的 (譯註: Mads此處所提到的,是因為人在死前,身體所有肌肉都會放鬆,而控管尿液糞便排放的括約肌也會因而失去功能,就會造成屎尿盡出的狀況)

  • all: Oh, yeah, - It does feel really nice.

    所有人: 喔,是沒錯啦,那感覺真的滿不錯的

  • - That's dying, in a nutshell.

    -瀕死前的情況大概就是那樣

  • Plus, now I have a supernatural power.

    再說了,現在我可是有超能力呢

  • [magical tone] all: Aah!

    (魔法的聲音) 所有人: 啊!

  • - Wait. That's it?

    -等一下,啊就這樣喔?

  • You're a ghost and all you can do is make us do the wave?

    變成鬼的祢只能讓我們揮波浪舞喔?

  • - I'm working on it.

    -人家還在努力中嘛

  • - Yeah, I got to say, that's pretty lame.

    -對啊,我得說,祢這樣真的滿沒說服力的

  • I was expecting way more than that.

    我本來還期待會有什麼花樣呢

  • - You know what else is lame?

    -你知道什麼才是最難叫人相信的嗎?

  • Having a nice death and ending up back at Pork E. Pine's.

    就是在美好的時刻死去,但最後得回到這間餐廳 = =

  • - If it's any consolation,

    -如果祢死了還能回來這

  • I'm glad you're here.

    我想這對我是最大的安慰

  • - Thanks, Pete.

    -謝謝你,皮特

  • - Can someone keep Dinger up to speed?

    -你們能不能幫丁格啊?他沒跟上來

  • - Lost cause.

    -他沒救了

  • - You know, being stuck at my part-time job

    -你們知道嗎,我下輩子不會想再

  • was not my idea of the afterlife.

    困在這裡當工讀生了

  • It wasn't even my idea of life-life.

    這也不是我這輩子想要的啊

  • - Maybe you're here because you have some unfinished business.

    -說不定祢還在這裡,是因為祢還有一些未了的心願

  • - Yeah, was there anything you wanted to do

    -對啊,是不是還有什麼事情是祢生前

  • while you were alive and didn't have a chance?

    想做但卻沒有機會做的?

  • - [scoffs] Ah. Duh.

    - (笑) 啊,我真笨捏

  • I never had sex with Pete.

    我沒跟皮特做過愛啊

  • all: Oh!

    所有人: 喔!

  • - You want me to release your soul

    -祢就只想用我的老二

  • into all eternity using only my penis?

    來釋放祢的靈魂讓祢得永生?

  • - Well, not only. Ever heard of foreplay?

    -當然不是啊,你有沒有聽過前戲啊?

  • - I've never even had sex with a living woman.

    -我從來就沒跟任何活生生的女人做過愛

  • This is too much pressure. - Pete, calm down.

    這讓我覺得壓力好大 -皮特,冷靜點啦

  • It's a totally natural rite of passage.

    這是人生中很自然的必經路程之一

  • - "Natural"? It's necrophilia.

    -「很自然」?這根本就戀屍癖吧

  • - No, no, no, that's if you had sex with my corpse.

    -不不不,那是你和我的屍體做愛

  • This is totally different.

    這兩者不一樣

  • What we're talking about is ghost sex

    我們現在講的是用鬼的陰道

  • with a ghost vagina.

    和鬼做愛

  • It would be like having sex with a Jacuzzi jet.

    這就好像跟按摩浴缸的噴嘴做愛一樣嘛

  • - [sighs] Mads, I'm a virgin.

    -(嘆氣) 麥姿,我雖然還是處男

  • I've had relations with my fair share

    也和不少按摩浴缸噴嘴

  • of Jacuzzi jets...

    都發生過關係... (譯註: have one's fair share of是指「遭遇、碰到許多...」)

  • but I just can't.

    但我就是做不到

  • I'm sorry.

    對不起

  • [sighs]

    (嘆氣)

  • - [sighs]

    - (嘆氣)

  • Ella.

    對了,找艾拉

  • [magical tones]

    (魔法的聲音)

  • - Where's Mads? - Don't tell him.

    -麥姿在哪啦? -別告訴他我在這

  • - Food counter. - Okay.

    -點餐區啦 -好喔

  • - I need you to help me seduce Pete.

    -我需要妳幫我誘惑皮特

  • - Uh, no. Sorry.

    -呃,不可能,抱歉

  • I'm not having another threesome.

    我對搞3P沒興趣

  • If I learned one thing from the commune,

    如果問我從聖餐禮學到了什麼

  • it's that you always want to stick with an even number.

    我會說偶數配才是剛剛好的

  • - Did I get her? I think I got her.

    -我抓到祂了嗎?我覺得我抓到了耶

  • - Keep trying, buddy. - Damn it.

    -繼續加油吧,兄弟 -該死

  • - No, I don't want a threesome.

    -不是,我不想要搞3P

  • I just need some simple seduction advice.

    我只是需要一些誘惑男人的簡單建議

  • How can I make myself irresistible to Pete?

    我該怎麼做才能讓皮特毫無招架之力?

  • - Oh, easy. Just talk about the sex moves

    -喔,那還不簡單,跟他講一些祢想跟他

  • you're gonna do to him.

    做的性愛姿勢

  • It'll make him less nervous. - Okay.

    這樣他就比較不會那麼緊張啦 -好喔

  • Well, I know one. - Mm, lay it on me.

    喔,我知道一招 -恩,快告訴我

  • - Okay, well, he's on top...

    -是這樣的,恩,他呢在上面...

  • - Oh.

    -喔

  • - And I'm on the bottom.

    -我呢,就在底下

  • - Yeah.

    -讚啦

  • - And then we make eye contact.

    -接下來我們兩個就會四目相交

  • - Oh, so you like it like a nun?

    -喔,所以祢喜歡當修女喔?

  • - [sighs] This is why I need your help.

    -(嘆氣)這就是為什麼我要找妳幫忙啊

  • I need one of your signature moves.

    我需要妳教我妳的招牌動作

  • - Okay, in your situation,

    -那好吧,照祢的情況看來

  • I'd probably go with a move I invented

    我可能要交祢我自創的一招

  • called "the ouija board."

    叫做「通靈板體位」

  • I won't go into too many details,

    我先不跟祢講一堆有的沒的

  • but let me just say, you'll be light as a feather.

    簡單來說就是,祢會輕得跟羽毛一樣

  • He'll be stiff as a board.

    他會硬如硬板

  • - [laughs] Oh.

    -(笑)喔

  • I get it.

    我懂了

  • - Ah, do you?

    -嗄,祢確定?

  • - Actually, no. I need details.

    -事實上,聽不懂,妳再講詳細點

  • - Okay, so it starts with, you lay a piece of plywood...

    -好吧,一開始,祢會躺在一片夾板...

  • [vacuum whirring loudly]

    (吸塵器大聲吸的聲音)

  • [continues indistinctly]

    (繼續講,但不知道在講什麼)

  • Slap him! Slap him! Slap him!

    然後就這樣拍他,拍他,拍他!

  • [continues indistinctly]

    (繼續講,但不知道在講什麼)

  • Fear in his eyes!

    他眼中會開始驚惶!

  • [continues indistinctly]

    (繼續講,但不知道在講什麼)

  • And if you didn't mush the banana,

    如果祢不怕吃香蕉的話

  • you can eat it afterwards.

    祢可以晚點再來含他的香蕉

  • - Hmm. - I got her.

    -恩 -我抓到祂了

  • I got her, right?

    我抓到祂了,對不對?

  • [magical tone] Aah!

    (魔法的聲音)啊!

  • Aah! [both laughing]

    啊!(兩人都笑了)

  • [magical tone] - Hey.

    魔法的聲音) -嘿

  • - Oh! Oh! God!

    -喔,我的媽啊,嚇死我了

  • - I know you're nervous about... you know.

    -我知道你對...很緊張,你懂我在說什麼

  • But I talked to Ella, and she taught me a move

    我剛剛才跟艾拉談過,她教我一招性愛姿勢

  • that will take it to a whole other level.

    可以把我們兩個帶到另一個境界

  • - Yeah, um, I've been thinking.

    -呃,其實我想了一會兒

  • It's not really the lovemaking that I'm nervous about.

    我發現我緊張的根本就不是做不做愛

  • - It's not? - No.

    -不是嗎? -不是

  • It's pretty much

    我一直很擔心

  • all I've been thinking about since I met you.

    也瘋狂在想的,就是看見變成鬼之後的祢

  • It's just that...

    我最怕的是...

  • if we have sex

    要是我們做了愛

  • and you move on...

    祢就沒有缺憾,可以安心的走...

  • I won't ever see you again.

    但我就再也不會看到祢了

  • - But if we don't, I'll be trapped at Pork E. Pine's

    -但如果我們不做的話,我會永遠被困在

  • for the rest of eternity.

    這間破餐廳啊

  • - That seems fun, right?

    -但這很有趣啊,對不對?

  • You can be, like, my ghost girlfriend.

    祢可以..當我的鬼女友啊

  • - Pete, could you imagine being trapped here forever?

    -皮特,你能不能想像一下永遠被困在這裡是什麼感受?

  • It makes me want to kill myself, and I'm already dead.

    那讓我覺得比死還痛苦,雖然我已經死了

  • If you love me, you'll bone me...

    如果你真的愛我,就和我做愛... (譯註: bone當動詞時,有「與某人性交」之意)

  • and set me free.

    讓我此生沒有遺憾

  • - Okay. We'll do it.

    -好吧,那我們就來做吧

  • - Oh! Thanks, Pete!

    -喔,愛死你了,皮特!

  • Meet me in the staff room. I'm gonna go grab a banana.

    待會來員工休息室找我,我等一下就要來剝香蕉了

  • [magical tone] He said yes!

    (魔法的聲音) 他說願意了!

  • - Aah!

    -嚇死我了!

  • Aw. I'm so happy for you.

    喔,我真是為祢感到高興

  • [sighs] So I guess this is it for reals, huh?

    (嘆氣) 這次是真的要走了,對嗎?

  • Promise me you'll haunt my dreams.

    答應我祢以後會常來夢裡找我

  • - If that's how it works, then, yes.

    -如果那真的有效,那我保證會的

  • I'm still figuring it out.

    我還在慢慢摸索啦

  • - [sighs] Rest in peace.

    -(嘆氣) 安心好走喔

  • I love you.

    我愛祢

  • - I love you too.

    -我也愛妳

  • - Guys! Come say bye to Mads!

    -各位,趕快來跟麥姿說再見啦!

  • She's about to ghost-bust a nut!

    祂就快要被假中出啦! (譯註: bust a nut是非常口語的美國俚語,指男性射精的行為,而ghost-bust a nut則多指男性在進行性交時,因想提早趕快結束,故意騙對方自己已經高潮了,實則不然)

  • Who you gonna call? - Ghostbust-nutters!

    我們怎麼叫他? -獵鬼大盜!

  • [chuckles] Ow.

    (笑) 噢

  • - Mads, I'm really gonna miss you.

    -麥姿,我絕對會懷念祢的

  • You were the best at cleaning up gum off the bottom of tables.

    祢清理桌子底下的口香糖的能力超厲害的

  • - Aw, thanks.

    -喔,謝謝你

  • I thought nobody noticed.

    我還以為都沒人注意到呢

  • - Mads, I know we haven't always gotten along.

    -麥姿,我知道我們相處的時間不算很多

  • - Is that it? - Yeah.

    -就這樣? -對啊

  • - Ian, I can always count on you to underwhelm.

    -伊恩,我就知道你會這麼地冷靜跟我道別

  • - Aw. You're underwhelm-come.

    -喔,不用那摸多禮數啦

  • - [crying]

    -(哭)

  • - Lori, it'll be okay.

    -羅莉,沒關係的

  • - No, it won't.

    -才怪,好不了了

  • You're the only employee who actually did her job.

    祢是我們這裡唯一真正有在做事的員工

  • [sniffles]

    (抽泣)

  • - Mads, I'm really gonna miss you.

    -麥姿,我也會很想念祢的

  • Hey, guys...

    嘿,各位...

  • I can feel her.

    我可以感受到祂的存在

  • - Nope. - Damn it.

    -你沒有 -該死

  • - Dinger, I really want to say that I'll miss you the most.

    -丁格,我真的很想告訴你,其實我最想念的人是你

  • But I'd be lying?

    騙你們的啦,開玩笑的

  • [all shouting] - Roasted!

    (所有人叫喊) -完全擊敗!

  • - [laughing] Good one, Mads.

    -(笑) 好好笑,麥姿

  • - Oh, you heard her. What'd she say?

    -哦,你聽到得祂啦,阿祂說什麼?

  • - God damn it. -Um-hum

    -他媽的 -恩亨

  • - Oh. Ow!

    -喔,噢

  • I don't think you know your supernatural strength.

    我不知道祢死了以後力量還這麼大

  • - Shut up and ghost-French-kiss me.

    -別說話,開始和我鬼版的法式熱吻吧

  • I can't wait to haunt Little Pete.

    我開始等不及要玩弄小小皮特了

  • Oh, I was wrong-- Big Pete.

    喔,我錯了呢...小皮特還滿大的呢

  • - Okay, just... - Here...

    -好了,再... -來...

  • - I got this. - Okay.

    -我把它弄好 -好了

  • - Whew.

    -呼

  • I can't believe this is gonna happen.

    我真沒想到這真的會發生

  • Oh, it's finally happening.

    喔,終於要發生了

  • [both moan]

    (雙方呻吟的聲音)

  • [groans]

    (呻吟)

  • It happened. - What?

    進去了 -什麼?

  • - Did it...

    -我是說...

  • happen for you?

    小皮特進到祢身體了嗎?

  • - No. - Oh.

    -還沒 -喔

  • - Believe me, you'll know when it does.

    -相信我,進去的時候你會有感覺的

  • Besides, I'm pretty sure I'm stuck here until that happens.

    再說了,我很確定在它進去之前,我都還無法離開人間

  • So want to try again?

    所以,想再試一次嗎?

  • - Okay. I think I'm in.

    -好了,我想我進去了

  • - Right, but you have to keep going.

    -對,但你要再繼續往前一點

  • - Okay.

    -好喔

  • [groans] Oh, no.

    (呻吟)喔,沒辦法

  • - Pete. - Sorry.

    -皮特 -抱歉

  • This time, I'm gonna wait until you're ready.

    這一次,我要等祢準備好再進去

  • - Okay.

    -好

  • - Whoa!

    -哇嗚!

  • What you doing, Pete?

    你在幹嘛啊,皮特?

  • - Dinger, get out!

    -滾開,丁格!

  • [groans]

    (呻吟)

  • Oh, man.

    吼,軟掉了

  • - Pete, don't you dare.

    -皮特,你不害怕嗎?

  • - I got this. Don't worry.

    -安啦,我背美國50州分散注意力

  • Alabama, Alaska, Arizona,

    阿拉巴馬、阿拉斯加、亞利桑那

  • Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut...

    阿肯色、加利福尼亞、科羅拉多、康乃迪克...

  • Connecticut!

    康乃迪克!

  • Connecticut!

    康乃迪克!

  • - Delaware!

    -德拉威!

  • [indistinct conversation] - Oh.

    (嘰喳講話聲) -喔

  • I think that means she did it. - Good-bye, Mads.

    我想這表示祂已經完成遺願了 -麥姿,再見囉

  • - Good luck organizing that big closet in the sky.

    -祝祢以後在天上過得幸福又快樂

  • - [chuckles] - This one's to you.

    -(笑) 這杯敬祢的

  • - Guys! Guys! I did it!

    -各位,各位,我破處了

  • - All right! - There you go!

    -讚啦! -做得好!

  • - You know, I think this makes you a permanent member

    -你知道嗎,我覺得那可以讓你成為

  • of the Part-Timers Club.

    工讀生俱樂部裡的永久成員

  • - A member? He should be president.

    -成員而已,他都可以當會長了吧

  • Sex with you literally made a woman see God.

    和你做完愛的女人,每個都可以看見上帝了

  • - Guys, it was awesome.

    -各位,這感覺真的很好

  • Although no one ever told me that part of sex

    雖然從來沒有人跟我講過做完愛

  • was having your body turn ice cold from the inside out.

    下面會整根變得冰冰涼涼,就跟冰棒一樣

  • I think my junk has frostbite.

    我覺得我下面好像被凍傷了 (譯註: junk原指垃圾,在此為非常典型的性暗示字詞,常在一般口語中聽到)

  • - Uh, yeah, I think that only happens during human-ghost sex.

    -呃,對啊,那個只會發生在人鬼交歡的情況下

  • - I really am gonna miss her, though.

    -我一定會很想念祂的

  • You guys think she'll visit?

    你們覺得祂會回來嗎?

  • - I don't know. [magical tone]

    -我不知道 (魔法的聲音)

  • all: Oh!

    所有人: 喔!

  • [all chuckle] - Good one, Mads.

    (所有人都笑了) -做得好,麥姿

  • - Hey, who left a banana in the staff room?

    -嘿,是誰把香蕉遺留在員工休息室的啊?

  • Little mushy, but not bad.

    雖然有點軟掉了,但還是挺好吃的

  • The End

    全劇終

[sad music]

(悲情音樂)

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