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(hip hop instrumental music)
(laughing loudly)
Kassia.
Kassia, have you seen this dog with braces?
Oh man, it's all over my feed.
Oh no, I try not to look at Facebook.
What, why?
Do you hate nerdy dogs?
No.
Facebook and I used to date.
Oh, really?
Kassia.
Oh no.
Kassia, do you want to get some food?
Facebook, no.
We broke up.
This is desperate .
What do you mean?
Where do I start?
Okay, here for instance.
This year end review.
That's nice.
It's thoughtless.
I don't care about any of this shit.
It's just stuff I put up there that got a lot of likes.
Okay, and this?
You're always showing me pictures
of the way things used to be,
like you're trying to prove things
were so great back when you were still relevant.
We had good times.
It's manipulative.
You are a manipulative person.
This.
Oh, I get a message from you, you have four unread messages,
but first, you have to download this app in order to get it.
That sucks.
I'm a good boyfriend.
I'm always asking you “What's on your mind?”
Big deal.
I'll always get you anything you want.
You liked WhatsApp, I bought that.
You liked Instagram, I bought that.
You liked Oculus, I bought that.
I never said I liked Oculus.
I got you all these new Like buttons.
You can also buy this shirt that says
“You wouldn't understand, it's a Kassia thing.”
Okay, you're lame now.
You created a holiday, National Friends Day,
just so we could hang out.
And when I do reach out,
all you wanna talk about is politics or Blue Apron.
Yeah, due to your history,
I thought you would like Blue Apron.
That's the real issue.
When we do hang out, you just do it now
to sell my information to advertisers.
You used to be fun
and now it's all about the money.
Well, money is how I was able to buy you Oculus...
I don't give a fuck about Oculus!
Okay?
Listen, you are a smart computer person, right?
And you're probably walkin' through life thinking,
"Oh, everybody hates me because I'm a nerd."
I wanna tell you from the bottom of my heart,
that's not why.
They hate you because you sold their data.
Plus, I have a new man now.
Ready to go, babe?
You're dating Apple?
I thought you were dating Snapchat?
Snapchat wasn't permanent.
I like how safe I feel with Apple.
Is this guy bothering you?
Not anymore.
Good.
Cause if he ever does, if he tries to see your data
or get in your phone, I'll shut him down.
Nobody tells me what to do.
And one more thing.
I'm not afraid to go to jail.
(emotional instrumental music)
Love you, babe.
Love you.
(laughing loudly)
Dogs with braces aren't cool, do you know what's cool?
Shut the fuck up, Friendster.
Hey, it's Grant from CollegeHumor.
Click here to subscribe to the channel.
Click here for more fun stuff.
And sorry, guys, it feels like I'm out.
Am I out?
Cause like I can see the top of the camera, so it's...
Is this better?
All right, it feels worse.
Okay.
Thanks for watching.
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如果臉書是你的前男友...?(How Facebook is Like Your Desperate Ex)

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李宣億 發佈於 2017 年 12 月 27 日   李宣億 翻譯   Kristi Yang 審核

影片簡介

相信大家就算沒有用過,也絕對聽過 Facebook。這幾年來,Facebook 經歷了許多改版,新增了各式各樣的服務和功能。不過,大眾對於這些改版的評價往往是好壞參半的。今天的影片用「擬人」的方式來檢視 Facebook 給人的印象。為什麼 Facebook 會像你的前男友呢?一起看影片來探個究竟吧!

1feed0:09
feed 原本的意思是「餵食」。後來,因為網路普及,各大新聞網、雜誌、影片串流網站開始提供使用者訂閱的服務,而這些新聞或是訊息是由網站方直接「饋送」給使用者 (好像網站餵新聞給使用者一樣)。這樣被稱為 web feed 或是 news feed
If you subscribe to our RSS feed, you will receive update information about our app immediately.
如果你訂閱我們的 RSS 消息的話,你可以即時收到我們應用程式更新訊息。


隨著 Facebook、Twitter 等社群網站的盛行, feed 這個字也指社群網站上個人的「動態時報」(也就是俗稱的「塗鴉牆」)。
Nowadays, Facebook has become more commercial. Instead of only seeing updates from their friends, users are bombarded with ads on their feeds.
現在的臉書變得非常商業化。使用者在他們的塗鴉牆上除了看到朋友的動態之外,還會被許多的廣告轟炸。


*同場加映:
現在開始!別再當「低頭族」 (Get Off The Phone Song) (歌詞/lyrics)


2nerdy0:13
nerd 這個字的意思是「書呆子」,通常是用來指很聰明、成績很好,但是不善交際的人。英文 nerdy 則是 nerd 的形容詞型態。
Josh is probably the biggest nerd that I have ever known; he can recite every line in Macbeth.
喬許是我見過最誇張的書呆子。他可以背出《馬克白》所有的台詞。

With his messy hair, baggy shirt, and round glasses, Simon gives people the impression that he is a nerd.
賽門凌亂的頭髮、寬鬆的衣服和圓形的眼鏡讓人覺得他是一個書呆子。

The hit TV show The Big Bang Theory focuses on the lives of four nerdy scientists.
影集《宅男行不行》聚焦在四名書呆子科學家的日常生活。


常會有人把這個字和 geek 搞混。geek 中文裡一般翻成「宅男/女」,但是其實這個字比較適用於對特殊領域極度有興趣的人 (類似 fan 「粉絲」的概念)。所以也衍生出 computer geek 「電腦宅」、 tech geek「科技宅」 、 comic geek 「漫畫宅/漫畫迷」。 geek 的形容詞型態也是加上 -y,寫成 geeky。
Henry is a sci-fi geek; he is obsessed with Star Wars and Star Trek.
亨利是個科幻迷,他非常喜歡《星際大戰》和《星際迷航記》。


口語中,把這個字加上 out,變成 geek out 則可以當作動詞使用,用來形容人因為碰到自己有興趣或熱衷的事物 (通常是科技、電腦、漫畫等等) 而變得很興奮。
A: There is a Game of Thrones fan event coming up.
B: I know! I completely geeked out when I saw the news!
A: 最近有一場《權力遊戲》的粉絲活動。
B:我知道啊!我看到消息的時候超級興奮!


geek out 也可以指「某人認真念書、練習」的意思。
A: Hey, do you want to go to the party tonight?
B: No, I have a big test tomorrow; I need to go home and geek out.
A: 你要去晚上的派對嗎?
B: 不,我明天有一個重要的考試,我得回家認真念書。


*同場加映:
超爆笑饒舌決戰:當辛德瑞拉槓上貝兒!CINDERELLA vs BELLE: Princess Rap Battle


3desperate 0:27
我們平常比較常聽到 desperate 是形容「絕望的」。口語中,則可以用來表達某人的行為完全是「情急拼命」、「孤注一擲」的感覺 (影片中也就是指 Facebook 已經絕望了,所以才做出這樣的舉動)。
In a desperate attempt to find a job, Jennifer sent her resume to her ex-husband.
為了找工作,珍妮佛孤注一擲,把履歷寄給了自己的前夫。

A: I am leaving for France in a week and still haven't been able to find a place to stay yet.
B: Wow, you must be desperate by now.
A: You don't say.
A: 我下禮拜就要去法國玩,但是我到現在都還沒有找到住的地方。
B: 天啊,你現在一定很急得要命吧!
A: 那還要你說!


4(sth.) be on one's mind1:01
(sth./sb.) be on one's mind 這個片語的意思是「(某事/某人) 在某人的心頭上」,也就是「掛念」的意思。
Being a mother means that your children will always be on your mind.
身為母親,你永遠都會掛念自己的孩子。

Even when we just met, you were always on my mind. Before I knew it, I was madly in love with you.
我們才剛認識時,我滿腦子想的都是你。在我意識到之前,我就已經愛上你了。


5lame 1:15
口語上,lame 的意思是「很遜的」、「不酷的」。這個字原本的意思是形容人「跛腳」或是「瘸腿」。
A: Tom said he's not coming to the bar with us because he has a dentist appointment tomorrow.
B: That is such a lame excuse.
A: 湯姆說他明天要看牙醫所以今天不跟我們去酒吧。
B: 這個理由太遜了吧。

Cory has a lame leg because he got into a car accident last week.
柯瑞上禮拜出車禍,現在他跛著一條腿。


另外,英文口語裡也常用 suck 來表達「很遜」、「很糟」的意思。要注意 suck動詞,而 lame 則是形容詞
Being single on Valentine's Day sucks.
情人節的時候單身真是太糟了。


*同場加映:
小朋友總統告訴你20件你應該更常做的事! Kid President's 20 Things We Should Say More Often


不知道對這部影片有什麼看法呢?小編覺得其實非常的中肯 (特別是 Facebook 洩漏大家的資料這件事......)。你是否也覺得哪個部分特別有趣或好笑呢?歡迎大家在下方留言!

文/ Naomi
編輯/ Vicky

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