字幕列表 影片播放 列印英文字幕 Here's a glimpse into my past To help you better understand It was mistakes that brought me to this place Where they degrade men, And hands I would trade Because it made me a slave, Bondage and a cage, Frustration, I'm enraged, This was my last resort, I ain't no stickup kid, On my last Newport, no place to live, Here's a glimpse into my past to help you better understand, Everything that I am not makes me who I am. I was 16. I had just turned 16. They had cages like they would have at the zoo, but they were sectioned off, right. And there were guys filled with them at capacity. I just was like, you know, I am not one of them. I do not belong here. I do not want to be here. I want to go home. (faint voices in background) I have 13 years. I don't know if I could do it. I don't know if I could wake up every day, look at the same wall every day. Like, about six months in, I gave up. I'm not scared to admit. I can't handle prison. I'm not that strong. I wasn't like a hellion or nothing like that, or like just the worst kid. But I got in trouble a little bit. My mom was mad at me. So I run away. I met somebody and I went to his apartment. He talked to me, asked me questions, like did I want to stay there for a little while. I could stay there for a couple of days. They cooked me food, they fed me. I thought, "You know what? I'm just gonna try to go home." And he said, "You're going home?" So he left and went in the room. When he came back out, he came back out with a gun. And he said, "You think you're gonna eat my food for free? "You think you're gonna live in my house and just walk out? "And things come free like that? No, nothing's free." And he said, "No, you're gonna have to rob this store." The way he made it sound was like this: "If you do it for me, and if you do it successfully, "I'll probably even give you some of the money. But you're gonna do this for me." It was in a Fastrip gas station. I remember seeing gangster movies, "Menace II Society," "Boyz n the Hood," where they had guns. And in all those movies, when they pulled their gun out, they held it like this. So that's what I did. I put the gun to the guy's chest, and I said "Empty up." - I hit my hand down like that. The gun went off-- smoke, commotion. No customers in the store. - When the gun went off, it snapped me to attention. I was, like, "Vacate the premises." So I tried to run. Store clerks hopped on top of me and started beating me. I said, "God, if you get me out of this, I swear I'll be good. "I swear. "You have my word. "Get me out of this and I'll be a good boy. "I promise. Amen." - And then we held him at gunpoint until the cops came. You have a lot of adrenaline running through your head at the time, so you're not really thinking till after, and then it all started sinking in that this is really, um, a kid. - Alarming news reports describing teens as time bombs and superpredators. - Youth is no excuse for committing murder, robbery, rape, home invasions or for terrorizing entire neighborhoods. - Proponents argue stern measures are necessary to combat rising youth crimes. - Many of the worst superpredators were juveniles and they were being referred to a system that was created to handle bad boys. We were walking around basically unarmed in terms of our penal statutes when it came to juveniles. And that is why Proposition 21 came about. - In California, a zero tolerance youth crime initiative is on the March 7 ballot. - Opponents say the measure would sweep more youth into the criminal justice system in a state that already locks up more kids per capita than any other. - These crimes are dangerous. What people have to remember is that a lot of people out there who are trying to make a living have a right not to be terrified and their right, frankly, trumps an ex post facto sob story. - Alonza Thomas was the first minor tried as an adult under Prop. 21 in Kern County. - Was Alonza a juvenile superpredator? - Absolutely not. Absolutely not. It surprised me why the prosecutor would file in adult court because the robbery was botched and it was botched because he was a 15-year-old youngster. Many minors are impacted by adults. They're impacted and influenced to do things they wouldn't ordinarily do, and that needs to be taken into consideration. When you're 14, 15 years old, even if you commit a serious or violent felony, the potential is great for rehabilitation. I don't think that in most cases it's appropriate to process a 14-year-old or 15-year-old through the adult system unless it's merited. Sometimes it is, most of the time it's not. - He did the crime, and he had to be held accountable. But to be tried as an adult? You have this young man that you... that didn't have one blemish on his record sent away as an adult, tried as an adult. Why? - If I would have been more brave or a little bit more determined to not go into that store, maybe I could have did something different, you know? But I was just so scared, I thought I had no other choice. - It would be inconceivable for us and for most prosecutors in California not to direct file in superior court robbery with the use of a firearm. That particular crime is the most dangerous crime that there is, absent a homicide itself. We either treat people who commit that kind of crime very seriously in order to protect people like his victims or we don't. There's no middle ground. - They dropped two counts of armed robbery and they charged me with one count of armed robbery, second degree robbery. So altogether, they gave me 13 years. - I remember looking at him, and he looked so innocent. And I hugged him and I kissed him, and I said, "I love you." And they walked him out. - Every time you go somewhere out of your cell, you go to a cage. Sometimes the cages are half the size of a phone booth. So, you can't move your elbows even up. And then when you leave that cage, they cuff you up and lead you back to another cage. You're just always from cage to cage. There's a big wall on 4b. When I got there and I saw that wall, it was like, just me against this wall, you know? I don't know if I could do it. The whole building was yelling, kicking on the door. "Man down, he's hanging! He's hanging, man down, he's hanging, we have a hanger!" So some time went by. They brought him out. Everyone already knows he's dead. And he never came back. That's the last time I saw him. I thought, "That's gonna be me in a couple of years. "I'm gonna lose my mind. "I'm not gonna be able to take it. "I'm not gonna be able to take it and I'm gonna have to check out." - "I am writing concerned about my future here in CDCR "and my life in general. "I'm not trying to be funny, but I feel I'm Humpty Dumpty. "I guess you could say I had a big fall. "I committed a robbery that got me locked up, "and I honestly feel all the psychologists, psychiatrists, "counselors, officers can't help me. "They can't put me back together again. I need you, badly." And it's signed, "Sincerely, a young man crying out for help. Alonza Thomas." The idea of a 16-year-old going to a California men's prison is beyond my comprehension. It is an extremely dangerous, complicated place. It is a place where you have very few systems of support, very few systems of protection. So here's a young man who was put into this terrible environment with a long sentence in front of him and very little ability to cope. One way that the system encourages people like Alonza who are vulnerable, who are young, to cope, is to go into segregation. They literally encourage you to go into solitary confinement for protection. And once you're in segregation, things just spiral out of control. - I overdosed. Swallowed, like, 300 pills, 250 pills. I would cut myself. Sometimes I would be curled up in the corner for weeks not eating, just crying, shaking and stuff. I would just lose it, you know. I would just lose it. I would just sit down and talk to people like they were sitting right there with me. I would have full conversations. I would answer their questions and I'd answer my questions. But I would have full conversations, you know. It might sound crazy, but whatever works. Being in a room for 23 hours a day is crazy. - How was it seeing him? It was awful. Shackles on his hands and feet. He was in isolation for so long, he didn't have a color. He was gray. What did I do? I smiled. "I'm glad I was able to make it this weekend. How are you doing?" He smiled as well. And we talked. And we ignored the obvious. - What happens is when you send them to state prison at that young age, they come out of prison an entirely different person. - 33, close your door. 44, close your door. - We should think about what we are doing to our young people, even if they have committed a violent or serious felony at the age of 14, 15, what we're doing to them by sending them to an adult prison like this county did to Alonza Thomas. - He was punished, he was taken off the streets at... during the time period when he was most likely to commit another crime. You can't afford to spend an inordinate amount of time feeling sorry for people, no matter how young, who are willing to commit crimes. - Before I got out, I was in a cage and I was talking to a doctor and I was in a little cage, probably about the size of this chair, and the doctor said, "Well, what are you worried about? You should be happy, you're going home." And I said, "This right here, this cage, "me sitting in this cage, it feels safe to me. "This feels safe, this feels comfortable, this feels normal. "But when I'm out there and I can't touch these walls, "I can't pace back and forth and be in my own little world... Really what it means to me is, I'm institutionalized." (quiet conversation in background) What house is it? - This is not our house. - It's that one, over there. - After 13 years, it was over, you know? - Everybody's there. - After 13 years, it was over. - Good to see you, man. - I missed you. - Yeah, man. - I missed you. I hated when they separated us, man. - Yeah. - You all right? - Yeah, I'm all right. - We just crossed over it. Like our old house, 316, is just right down, right... - Just right down the street. - What y'all got to eat over here, man? (everyone talking, laughing) - Okay, this is one of the things Alonza asked for when he come home. - For 13 years, they waited. - He wanted some shrimp, so I'm gonna cook him some shrimp. If it doesn't sizzle when you drop it in, you're doing it wrong. - Inside, I'm still that same 15-year-old. Blow it. Please. They didn't care what prison did to me. I'm still the same person. - Come on, we'll eat this meal together. This is Jubee's first... come on, get one, Phillip. - It was the greatest moment, the greatest feeling of my life to see him again. You've been really waiting for this moment, like, forever. I honestly don't remember the first time I heard that he was going to be gone for that long. I was really young. I was probably, like, ten, 11 years old. It was just different not having him around, not being able to talk about football and just do that type of stuff. (cheering) I ended up playing football at Bakersfield High and, you know, it would have been cool for him to see me play there or play in college. - And it's in and out of the hands of the intended receiver! - Phillip was very successful. He broke records. Unanimous All-American. First one in the history of Fresno State to receive that award. Can you imagine the joy Alonza must have felt, saying, "That's my brother." - I had stacks. Stacks of articles, of highlights, of interviews. Pictures, everything. If I would have stacked it up page by page, it probably would have went up in the air about five or six feet. I knew he would make it to the NFL, and there was no doubt in my mind. There was none. - My name is Rich Eisen. Pleased that you are with us for rounds four through seven for a draft that may have its best value go today. - I was projected to go at a certain spot. I was projected to be, like, a second round pick or whatever. - By the third round, you know, we were all feeling like, uh, I don't know. And we didn't know, you know, how to really feel. And my stepdad Dimos, he was like, you know, "Let me watch a little more. You know, get it out of my system." "Okay." Like, not even ten seconds after he said that, he starts screaming. "Whoo, whoo!" - Phillip Thomas, a safety out of Fresno State gets the latest Redskins... I started screaming, I said, "Whoo!" and I took off running. - And that is a great pick, I believe, for the Redskins. - That was a great day. - The nurse came by and I'm, like, um, "Nurse, can you do me a favor? "I have a little brother, he entered the draft this year, "and I want to know where he went in the draft or did he get drafted?" She goes, "What's his name?" So I told her his name and she left and about 20 minutes later she came back and she goes, "Washington Redskins." And I said, "Washington Redskins," all right. I could dig it. That could be my team now, you know. - He hasn't seen me play a game ever, you know? And I think he said he looked up my highlights before, but it's not the same. I just really can't wait for him to be able to come and finally see what his little bro can do. - Your number should be at the top. - Yeah, it's right there. - See, your number's at the top. That's where mine is. You calling yourself? - I'm calling her. It's an adjustment. It's a learning experience, you know? I have to deprogram myself. Hello. - Hi, I'm Valerie Rangel. - I'm Alonza Thomas, Jr. - Alonzo? - Alonza. - Alonza Thomas Jr. And do you have your application with you? - I have to adjust to being free, you know. - So are you working at all? - No, I'm not working. - You were just recently released, is that correct? - Yes, I did 13 years. I got released two-and-a-half weeks ago. I don't know what it feels like to have a job. Never had a job before. I never been to the prom, or on a date. Never been on a date, never driven a car. I'm learning things at 28 I should have learned at 15. So what do I do? - Put your foot on the brake. - Foot's on the brake. - Start the car. Keep your foot on the brake. - Foot's on the brake. - Put it in reverse. Do not take your foot... now, you ease your foot off. Make sure no cars are around you. - Where's, uh, where's it say it at? - Right here. - Okay, I see. Every little accomplishment that I make, I'm one step closer to getting my life back, you know. Learning how to drive is one step closer to regaining my childhood that I lost or regaining my manhood that I never had. - Does he deserve a second chance now? - He did his time. He deserves to be treated like any other citizen. He deserves to be treated fairly and be given a fair chance. - When you first decided to create your own histogram, what did you all have in common? - Years of prison. - Years in prison. Something we all have in common. Show the histogram? - He doesn't deserve any breaks that a similarly situated citizen who hadn't committed an armed robbery wouldn't get. - That's very good, very good. Good comparison. - I think he was harmed. I think he suffered permanent harm as a result of his experience in the California Department of Corrections. In other words, he is worse off now than he would have been if he hadn't gone to prison. - What medications do you have now that you're out? - Well, they just changed them today. I'm on Remeron, 15 milligrams, once a day at nighttime. I'm on BuSpars, twice a day, once in the morning, once at night. And I'm on Risperidone. I'm on four milligrams every night. - What are those drugs for? - Some are anti-psychotic, some are anti-depressant, and one's for anxiety. - Are you taking them? - Sure. (clicking) Then I said, "Good evening, baby bro. I love you more than anything in the world." Then he said, "I love you too." - He seems a little different. He's different, he's definitely different. It's definitely noticeable. He's been incarcerated for just as long as he's been out of prison. - Two days later I said, "Good morning, baby bro, I love you." My biggest fear is becoming a burden to somebody, and, um, I don't want to be a burden to anybody due to my crime, due to something that I did, you know? - He's made it over one of the scary periods. He didn't commit any crimes, he was not sent back to jail, he wasn't sent back to prison. We all need some kind of structures to help us through and he has a family that's still standing behind him. - You like it, Lilla? - Mm-hmm. - I see my brother or my niece and, you know, I just stare at her, I just stare at her, you know. I'm learning these things over again. I'm barely meeting these people for the first time. Just getting to know them is a blessing, you know? - Delicious. - Here you go. - But it's like everything I do, it automatically takes me back to prison. I sit there and I see Mom cutting the meatloaf with a knife and I'm thinking, "She's going to get a write-up. She's not supposed to have that knife." And it's like, "Okay, I'm free again," you know. "I'm free, she's just cutting the meatloaf with a knife and it's okay." I talked to my doctor today. She said, "Oh, you're still in the honeymoon stage." I said, "The honeymoon stage?" I thought about it. I thought that that sounds about right, the honeymoon stage. It's gonna be honeymoon stage for a long time, you know. - What's after the honeymoon stage? - The rest of my life. I don't sleep often, but sometimes when I sleep I just, I don't know, I wake up and I get up and I don't realize where I'm at. - Does it feel good? - Does it feel good? - To realize you're not in prison anymore? - No. - I would think that would feel good. - Yeah. - To remember that you're free. - Yeah, it doesn't feel good. "I've made a lot of decisions "that has shaped the man I am today. "Some I'm not proud of, "but through all the bullshit, I am proud of me. "I've learned and shown growth after every fall. "And I'll continue to keep rising. "It all gets better in time. "Every time you think you can't make it another day, something or someone picks you up." I don't know if anyone will ever read this stuff and really, actually, genuinely feel hope. I'm just trying while I'm here. - Why is it important to give other people hope? - I told you, because I don't have any. Teardrops cease, I'm all cried out, I've been through so much, at times I wanna shout, I can't let 'em win, Alonza keep faith, Hop in, sink or swim, but the sharks give chase, I've been to this point so many times, When I get past it just rewinds, I walked in that court prepared to die, So when he said 13, I didn't cry, I didn't die or bat my eyes, I raised my cuffs and I waved goodbye, Goodbye to that young man who never got to live, Goodbye to that old soul who never was a kid, I'm trapped in a cage, all my rage has been bottled, All my winters come in May and brighter days never follow, I overstand injustice so there'll never be peace, It pains me to witness, that's why my eyes weep, But if any man or God could see the misery within, Then maybe that pain'll blow away with the wind.
A2 初級 美國腔 當一個16歲的孩子被關進超級大監獄的時候|Stickup Kid|FRONTLINE - Powered by Discuz! (When a 16-Year-Old Is Locked Up in a Supermax Prison | Stickup Kid | FRONTLINE) 46 5 JE11 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日 更多分享 分享 收藏 回報 影片單字