are almost impossible to get. The Harvard study of adult development may be the longest

很難取得的；哈佛的成人發展研究可能是花費最長

study of adult life that's ever been done. For 75 years we've tracked the lives of 724

時間去研究成人生活的研究；在75五年中，我們追蹤了724人的生活

men. Year after year, asking about their work, their home lifes their health. About 60 of

年復一年，詢問他們的工作、家庭生活、健康；當中約有60人

our original 724 men are still alive, still participating in the study, most of them in

仍然健在，還持續參與此研究，他們當中大部分

their 90's. We don't just send them questionnaires, we interview them in their living rooms, we

都90多歲了；我們不只寄給他們問卷、更在他們的客廳做訪問、

get their medical records from their doctors, we draw their blood, we scan their brains.

從醫生那裡取得他們的醫療紀錄、替他們抽血、進行腦部掃描

What are the lessons that come from the 10's of 1000's of pages of information that we've

我們從好幾萬頁的資訊中學到了什麼？

generated? The clearest message that we get from this 75 year study is this: good relationships

在這75年的研究中，最明確的訊息就是：好的關係

keep us happier and healthier. We have learned three big lessons about relationships. The

讓我們更健康快樂；我們學到了關於建立關係的三大啟示

first, it turns out that people who are more socially connected to family, to friends,

首先，人們若是維繫更緊密的關係於家庭、朋友、

to community, are happier, they're physically healthier and they live longer. And the experience

社會間，會更幸福快樂，在身體上也會比較健康、長壽；而另一項實驗

of loneliness turns out to be toxic. People who are more isolated find that their health

指出寂寞是有毒的；傾向孤立的人們，他們的健康

declines earlier in midlife, their brain functioning declines sooner and they live shorter lives.

在中年會提早衰退，他們的腦部退化更快，也較短命

So the second big lesson that we learned is that it's not just the number of friends that

而第二項啟示就是：不只是朋友的數量，

you have but it's the quality of your close relationships. High conflict marriages for

更要重視親密關係的品質；以充滿衝突的婚姻來說，

example, without much affection, turn out to be very bad for our health, perhaps worse

其中缺乏好的情感，將會對健康有害，或許甚至

than getting divorced. The people who were the most satisfied in their relationships

比離婚更糟糕；而對於關係感到最滿意的

at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80. And the Third big lesson that we learned is that

50歲人群在他們80歲時最健康；第三個啟示是：

good relationships don't just protect our bodies, they protect our brains. In your 80's,

好的關係不僅保護了我們的身體，更保護了我們的大腦；在你80歲時

the people who are in relationships were they really feel they can count on the other person

在關係中的人們若是覺得他們可以信任另一人

in times of need, those people's memories stay sharper, longer. So what about you? What

在自己需要的時候，他們的記憶維持得更清晰長久；那你呢？

might leaning into relationships even look like? It might be something as simple as replacing

認真投入關係看起來會怎樣？它或許非常簡單，就像

screen time with people time or livening up a stale relationship by doing something new

將盯螢幕的時間拿去和人相處，或藉由一起做些新的事情讓一段舊日感情充滿活力

together. Or reaching out to that family member who you haven't spoken to in years. Because

或著，嘗試與你多年沒有說話的家人接觸聯繫

those all too common family feuds take a terrible toll on the people who hold the grudges. I'd

因為那些常見的家庭爭執對心懷怨恨的人們造成了很不好的影響

like to close with a quote from Mark Twain: "There isn't time - - so brief is life, for

我要引用馬克‧吐溫的話總結：「生命是如此短暫，

bickerings, apologies, heart burnings, callings to account - - there is only time for loving,

我們沒有時間爭吵、道歉、傷心、指責──我們只有時間去愛

and but an instant so to speak, for that." The good life is built with good relationships,

一切稍縱即逝」美好的人生建立在良好關係之上

thank you.

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