Relax, bro, just kick back and watch this list to find out.

兄弟，放輕鬆，來看看這部影片就知道了

Alphas are bold, traditionally masculine figures

Alphas 是個很勇敢，且通常肌肉發達的人

endowed with raw sexual confidence.

而這賦予他赤裸裸、充滿性吸引力的自信

Unlike Alphas, Betas are kind and docile introverts

不像Alphas，Betas 比較親切、溫順又內向

that prefer deeper, more intimate relationships.

而且偏愛有深度、較親密的戀情

Gammas are similar to Betas

Gammas 跟 Betas 很像

except every cell in their body has been irradiated

只不過他們身上每個細胞都遭受過輻射汙染 (Gamma 可譯做伽瑪輻射)

by a near-constant bombardment

被持續不間斷的

of high-energy photons.

光子給轟炸著

Also they like never get laid.

順帶一提，他們總是把不到妹

- Oh.

喔

Deltas are open-minded individuals

Deltas 是群思想自由的傢伙

who believe in change.

且相信改變是好的

They're comprised mostly from sediment deposits

他們是由河流所帶來的

carried in from nearby rivers.

河底沉積物所組成的(Delta 也可譯做河底沉積物)

There's actually nothing special about Epsilons.

Epsilons 其實沒什麼特色

They're just real shitheads.

他們只是一群混蛋

Zetas are all die hard Catherine Zeta Jones fans.

Zetas 是群凱薩琳.麗塔.瓊絲的死忠粉絲(Zeta跟麗塔是同一個字)

Etas, or E-T-As are the classic gentlemen.

Etas，或稱E-T-As，是群古典的紳士們(ETA可譯做預計抵達時間。)

They're very punctual, but can't pronounce their H's.

他們十分準時，但不會發“H”音(Eta的字母形狀為一個H，但卻不發H音)

- Sweet 'eavens, look at the time.

喔，我的老天啊，現在都幾點了

Thetas are identical to Etas,

Thetas與Etas很像

but have a slight lisp.

但講話卻有點口齒不清

- How dare you, sir.

先生，你竟敢這樣說

Iotas are very small and insignificant,

Iotas 是群身材短小且不重要的人(Iota可譯做渺小、無關緊要)

and can be found arguing in the comments section

你可以在熱門網站留言區發現他們

of popular websites.

不停地爭吵著

What?

甚麼？

Kappas are mischievous beak-mouthed

Kappas 是群淘氣、有鳥嘴的

river spirits from Japanese folklore.

日本河中鬼魂(Kappa與日語的河童カッパ發音很像)

They like to play tricks on children,

他們喜歡跟小孩子惡作劇

and are very good listeners.

而且還是很好的傾聽者

Lambdas are the only males that can

Lambdas 男人中是唯一適合(Lambda的符號為λ)

successfully rock a goatee.

山羊鬍的那群(λ也為一個美國知名遊戲主角的符號)

Oh, this isn't a type, this is just what I call boy cows.

喔，這不是個分類，這只是公牛的一種說法(Mu發音很像牛叫)

(moo)

(哞)

And this is what I call boy babies.

而這只是小男嬰的一種說法

(baby laughs)

(嬰兒笑聲)

Xi males are of course men who exist solely

Xi 類的男性想當然只存在於

as a special spherical function on a semisimple Lie group

一個特別的半單李代數中的球形函數

within the field of mathematical harmonic analysis.

且只存在於數學諧波分析中

- Hey, 'sup babe.

嘿，近來可好，寶貝

My name's Chet.

我的名字是Chet

Can I buy you a drink or something?

我可以請妳一杯飲料嗎還是？

Omicrons are even bigger

Omicrons是群比

shitheads than Epsilons.

Epsilons還要混蛋的混蛋

They rarely wear sleeves.

他們很少穿有袖衣物

Pi males are well rounded,

Pi類男性的身形相當豐滿(π可做圓周率的意思)

but completely irrational.

但是他們相當不理性(irrational也可以譯做無理數，π是無理數)

- I'm pretty sure the Purge movies really happened.

我蠻肯定國際殺戮日的電影會成真

- Woah, really?

哇，真假？

Is that true?

真的會發生嗎？

Rho males are so stupid,

Rho類男性相當愚笨

they actually serve as a physical representation

笨到他們可以被當作物理上

of the concept of density.

密度的符號

Sigmas are the summation of all things male and masculine.

Sigmas是男子氣概與肌肉發達的總和(Σ在數學上是總和的意思)

And honestly, they're pretty big shitheads too.

說實話，他們也是頗混蛋的

Tau males are shittier than Epsilons,

Tau類男性比Epsilons混帳

but not quite as shitty as an Omicron.

但卻比Omicron好一點

Upsilons like to scream at TVs

Upsilons則喜歡在電視前尖叫歡呼

playing sports in public bars.

以及在酒吧鬧事

They are the worst.

他們是最差勁的

Phi male is just the way that Australians

Phi類男性只是一種澳洲人

say the word female.

用來稱呼女性的一種說法

Oh, that fair dinkum, mate.

喔，這倒是真的，兄弟

Chi Psis are men with strong bonds

Chi和Psis是群擁有緊密

of fraternal brotherhood.

兄弟情感連結的兩群人

Also, they're way less racist than the KA's two houses down.

另外，他們只比KA(一個美國兄弟會)少一點種族歧視

Whew, less racist!

挖嗚，少點種族歧視！

And finally, Omega male

最後，Omega男性

is just a genderless honorific given to anyone

就是群男女不分且又

who made it all the way through this stupid video.

恰好看完這愚蠢影片的人

Oh thank God it's over.

喔，感謝上帝這影片播完了

Congratulations.

恭喜

(rock music)

(搖滾音樂)

Hey, I'm Caldwell from College Humor.

嗨，我是College Humor的Caldwell

Thanks for watching.

感謝你的觀賞

Click here to subscribe,

點擊下方訂閱頻道

here to see more videos from our

點這兒來看看更多影片和

drawing comedy channel Drawfee.

一個叫Drawfee的手繪搞笑頻道

And if you'd like to join the debate

如果你想加入

on whether or not I suck,

我到底有沒有做得很爛的辯論

leave a comment below.

可以在下方留言

Just please click something, anything,

拜託點點任何一個東西，任何

so that I don't have to keep animating this.

這樣我才不用繼續扮演這個角色