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  • And I believe this to directly relate

  • To the plastic water bottle conspiracy of 73.

  • The question still remains. Is the Illuminated real?

  • I've laid out the facts for you, America. It's time to spread the truth.

  • Wake up, America. Don't be a sheep

  • These guys are absolutely ridiculous.

  • So dumb.

  • I can't believe people believe in this stuff. Like, seriously?

  • They'll find any reason to say it's Illuminati.

  • Oh, Miley Cyrus has an eyeball tattoo, Illuminati confirmed!

  • Doritos are triangle shaped, Illuminati confirmed!

  • The three of us are still awake, but Erica's still...still...sleeping.

  • Illuminati con-confirmed.

  • You don't really get what we're doing, huh, Sean?

  • No

  • It's okay. Don't worry.

  • Wait, who's Erica?

  • Oh, it's just our other roommate. Don't even worry about it.

  • She's sleeping Oh

  • Well, dude, don't worry about it, Sean. It's okay. I mean, Illuminati's

  • the biggest waste of time. Just because a bunch of celebrities

  • like Jay-Z, Lady Gaga, Beyoncé all hold up the same hand symbol

  • - or triangle sign-- - Wait, what did you just say?

  • - What? - Jay-Z, Lady Gaga, Beyoncé?

  • Yeah. What about 'em?

  • Jay-Z, Lady Gaga... Jay-Z, Lady Gaga, Beyoncé...

  • Oh my God.

  • Guys, I think I got it.

  • Jay-Z, Lady Gaga, Beyoncé. What do they all have in common?

  • Uh, I just told you They all put up their stupid hand signs

  • - No, not just that - They're all celebrities?

  • No!

  • - They're all in the music industry? - No!

  • Then just tell us!

  • They all have an E in their name

  • No, they don't. Only Beyoncé has an E in her name.

  • No, not the letter E. The sound "E".

  • Bee-yonce. La-dee Gaga.

  • - Jay-Zee. - Seriously?

  • - Serious-lee!

  • And you know what? They're not the only ones.

  • Hey, Erica. You think you could make your coffee another time?

  • We're kinda in the middle of something.

  • Fine. I'm going back to sleep then.

  • Thanks.

  • How to access your secret lab- Put book back

  • Welcome, Ryan

  • When did you have time do to all this?

  • Hmm.

  • Oh, there we go.

  • As I was saying, it's not just Beyoncé, Lady Gaga and Jay-Z.

  • There's more. Think about it

  • Who are some other celebrities that are rumored to be a part of the Illuminati?

  • Uh, Nicki Minaj?

  • Nick-kee Manaj?

  • - Miley Cyrus? - Mi-lee Cyrus.

  • - Kim Kardashian? - Kardash-ee-an.

  • Well, what about Kanye West? He's rumored to be part of it.

  • Oh, you mean Kan-yee?

  • It's Kanye

  • Then why does he refer to himself as EZ?

  • Or why is his album called Yeezus?

  • It's Kan-yee! Learn how to reeead

  • Okay, fine. All their names have an E sound in it,

  • but what does that have to do with Illuminati?

  • Good question. See, I've been working on the same theory for minutes now

  • The name Illuminati is a clue in itself

  • What?

  • Uh, Illuminati?

  • They're saying Il-lum-i-NOT-E, which is exactly what they want

  • us to think. They're hiding from us

  • But we just cracked the code and we're gonna prove this thing

  • once and for all. - We just talked about how stupid

  • these conspiracies are. - Conspiraca-CEES?

  • The Illuminati are viewed as leaders, the most powerful people

  • and companies in the entire world

  • And from the time we're kids, we're already being taught to serve them

  • Think about it. When you're a little kid,

  • what's the one thing you're forced to do?

  • Go to school. And when you're in school,

  • who's the one person that you have to obey?

  • The teacher.

  • And when it comes to teachers, what's the one thing you

  • associated teachers with?

  • Apples.

  • Like, why an apple of all things? Because Apple is one

  • of the biggest companies in the world, and they're in on it!

  • Why do you think every single one of their Apple products

  • starts with an I?

  • Like the iPhone Or the iPod

  • Or the iPad!

  • - Or even the i-- - Rack!

  • Hmm, I didn't know they made racks.

  • No, like the place Iraq

  • See, there's already a lot of conspiracy theories saying

  • we went to war in Iraq for oil, or for money, or for whatever.

  • But what if the reason was to protect the secret?

  • So you're saying the Illuminati is located in Iraq?

  • No, that would be way too obvious, but we're close.

  • It's someplace around there. I just don't know where to start.

  • Hmm, with all the technology we have, too bad we can't just triangulate

  • their position. - Wait. Sean, say that again!

  • - That again? - Exactly! Triangulate!

  • - Huh? - Triangles!

  • That's another Illuminati sign That's how we're gonna find them.

  • With triangles!

  • - But where do we start? - Isn't it obvious? The pyramids

  • Even as a little kid, you're taught that pyramids are in Egypt

  • EEE-gypt

  • And what other famous pyramid does everybody learn about as a kid?

  • The food pyramid. And if we look above Egypt,

  • we seek Turkey, which is up and to the right,

  • exactly where turkey would be on the food pyramid:

  • Up and to the right, in the meat section!

  • And while we're talking about meats, don't tell me it's a coincidence

  • that Saudi Arabia is shaped exactly like the meat

  • they used to draw in cartoons that we watched as kids.

  • Even though it is pretty uncooked and red, that could explain exactly why

  • there's the Red Sea right next to it. It's because the Red Sea

  • is just the meat juices dripping down from Saudi Arabia.

  • - Or should I say Salty A-Rare-P-Fah. - (chuckles)

  • Oh God.

  • And if we connect all three points, we have

  • the first triangle of the triangle of pyramids.

  • But the Illuminati aren't just represented by pyramids.

  • They're also represented by an eye. And what do eyes do?

  • They see.

  • Just like the Mediterranean Sea [see], or Syria [See-ria],

  • or, like we mentioned earlier, the Red Sea!

  • That's our second triangle in the triangle of eyes!

  • And when you put the triangle of pyramids, and the triangle of eyes together,

  • what do you get? The two triangle star.

  • And what country lies in the middle of the star?

  • Israel.

  • And guess what Israel's national flag looks like?

  • Exactly. The two triangle star.

  • And so, in conclusion, after all my minutes of research

  • ends up finally putting an end to all the ridiculous conspiracy theories

  • and answers the question that's been asked so many times,

  • is the Illuminati real? I present to you the answer:

  • The Illuminati...

  • is real. [Israel].

  • It's time you learned the truth. Wake up America.

  • Seriously? This entire video is a troll video.

  • What? No, it's not.

  • You made us sit through this entire video for one bad pun.

  • It wasn't just for one bad pun.

  • It was also to (yelling) wake up, America!

  • - Wait, who are you? - I'm Erica. [America]

  • See? Two bad puns.

  • Teehee!

  • So thank you guys again so much for watching.

  • If you want to see last week's video, click the one on the left.

  • If you want to see bloopers and behind-the-scenes,

  • click the one on the right. And remember...

  • wake up, America! Wake up...

  • before you go, go, don't leave me hanging

  • and there's something...(laughs) I don't know what I'm doing.

  • I don't know what I'm doing.

And I believe this to directly relate

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B1 中級 美國腔

證明光照派是真實的! (Proving the Illuminati is Real!)

  • 137 7
    Jason Tsao 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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