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  • A conversation requires a balance between talking and listening, and somewhere along

    溝通需要在傾聽與談話間找到平衡點

  • the way we lost that balance. So, I'd like to spend the next 10 minutes or so teaching

    不過,有時候難免會失衡。所以接下來的十分鐘我要教你

  • you how to talk and how to listen. I'm gonna teach you how to interview people

    怎麼談話和怎麼聆聽,我還要教你如何面談

  • and that's actually gonna help you learn how to be better conversationalists. Number 1: Don't multitask.

    這可以幫助你成為一個更好的溝通者。第一,別一心多用

  • I mean be present, don't be thinking about your argument you had with your boss,

    處在當下,別想著剛和上司的爭論

  • don't be thinking about what you're gonna have for dinner, if you wanna get out of the conversation,

    不要想著等等晚餐要吃甚麼。若真的不想聊天

  • get out of the conversation. Number 2: Don't pontificate. If you wanted to state your opinion

    那就別聊。第二,別用武斷的態度。若你想發表意見

  • without any opportunity for response, write a blog. You need to enter every conversation

    又不想要別人持有反對立場,妳大可去寫部落格就好。妳會從每一次的對談中

  • assuming that you have something to learn. Bill Nye: "Everyone you will ever meet knows

    都學到一點東西。治療師Bill Nye曾說:「每一個你所遇到的人

  • something that you don't." Number 3: Use open ended questions. In this case, take a cue from Journalists,

    會知道你所不知道的事情。」第三,使用開放式問題。這麼說來,以記者採訪的方式

  • start your questions with: Who, What, When, Where, Why, or How. If you put in a complicated question,

    用誰、什麼、何時、何處、為何及如何來發問。若你用複雜的問法切入

  • you're gonna get a simple answer out. If I ask you "Were you terrified?"

    你將得到一個簡單的回答。若我問你:「你當下害怕嗎?」

  • You're going to respond to the most powerful word in that sentence which is terrified

    你會得到簡潔有力的回答,句子裡當然會出現害怕的字眼

  • and the answer is "Yes I was" or "No I wasn't". Try asking them things like "What was that like?"

    要嘛「害怕」或「不害怕」。試著問問他們「感覺像什麼?」

  • "How did that feel?" Number 4: Go with the flow. Thoughts will come into your mind and

    「感覺怎麼樣?」第四,跟著感覺走。想法會進入你的腦袋

  • you need to let them go out of your mind. We're sitting there having a conversation with someone

    你需要把它表達出來。有次我們坐著和某人聊天

  • and then we remember that time that we met Hugh Jackman in a coffee shop

    我們突然想到曾在一家咖啡店和 Hugh Jackmann 偶遇

  • and we stop listening! Stories and Ideas are gonna come to you, you need to let them come and let them go.

    然後就忘記聽彼此說話了。故事和想法會湧入你的大腦,有進有出

  • Number 5: If you don't know, say that you don't know. Now people on the radio,

    第五,不知道就說不知道。在廣播電台的主播和來賓

  • especially on NPR are much more aware that they're going on the record, and so

    尤其是國家公共廣播公司,他們知道一言一行都會被記錄下來

  • they're more careful about what they claim to be an expert in and what they claim to know for sure.

    因此,他們在自己的專業與所知上,會更加謹慎

  • Do that. Err on the side of caution. Number 6: Don't equate your experience with theirs.

    這麼做是對的,你在說,大家在聽。第六,不要把自己的經歷套在別人身上

  • If they're talking about having lost a family member, don't start talking about the time

    如果有人失去家庭成員,也不要談到你的傷心事

  • that you lost a family member. It's not the same, it is never the same.

    這是不一樣的,絕對不會一樣。

  • All experiences are individual. Number 7: Try not to repeat yourself, it's condescending and

    每個經驗都是獨一無二的。第七,別重述自己的一切。這只是叫人領情而已

  • it's really boring. And we tend to do it a lot- We have a point to make so we just keep rephrasing

    而且真的很無聊,不過我們卻常犯這個錯誤,一直重述

  • it over and over... Don't do that. Number 8: Stay out of the weeds.

    一再地重述。千萬別這樣做。第八,言簡意賅。

  • Frankly, people don't care about the years, the names, the dates, they don't care. Number 9: Listen.

    說真的,大家不太會去在意幾年、名字、日期,根本不會。第九,聆聽

  • And look, I know, it takes effort and energy to actually pay attention to someone.

    看著對方,我知道這需要心力

  • But,if you can't do that, you're not in a conversation. Stephen Covey said it very beautifully,

    不過,如果你不這樣做的話,你就不是在溝通。Stephen Covey 說得很好

  • he said: "Most of us don't listen with the intent to understand, we listen with the intent to reply."

    他說:「大多數的人聽不是為了理解,而是為了回答。」

  • One more rule and, Number 10, and it's this one: Be Brief.

    最後一個:第十,簡潔有力

  • All of this boils down to the same basic concept and it is this one: be interested in other people.

    總歸到相同的基本概念,也就是:對人保持興趣

  • Go out, talk to people, listen to people and most importantly be prepared to be amazed. Thanks.

    踏出門、講講話、聽聽人家說甚麼,最重要的是準備好面對各種驚奇的事物。謝謝!

A conversation requires a balance between talking and listening, and somewhere along

溝通需要在傾聽與談話間找到平衡點

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