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  • - UPS special delivery.

  • Please sign.

  • - No, not you again.

  • What are you doing here?

  • - Bringing you the mail, you shirmpy idiot.

  • Now, can you please sign here

  • and give me a five star rating?

  • It would really help me out a ton,

  • I really appreciate it.

  • - Ahh, what reeks?

  • - I think it's the box.

  • - What did you do to it this time?

  • - It wasn't me, I promise.

  • It was totally like this when I got it.

  • (playful music)

  • (glass breaks)

  • (box crashes)

  • (cheers)

  • (glass breaks)

  • - Well I'll be a son of a gun, you did it.

  • Here's your $5 bucks, Mike Tyson.

  • Well, maybe it wasn't exactly like this

  • but the thrilly part sure wasn't me.

  • Thanks, buddy.

  • - Dude, did you really just give him five stars?

  • - Nah, they're not real stars, Pear.

  • Here are six stars.

  • Little Apple, here's 20 zillion stars.

  • Try eating them, maybe they'll

  • make you big and strong.

  • (laughs)

  • (screams)

  • - Congratulations, you're our one millionth visitor.

  • - I am?

  • - You are.

  • And that means you win.

  • - All right!

  • I won! I won!

  • I knew I could do it.

  • Oh, I just want to thank all you guys

  • for always believing I could do it.

  • Oh, I'm giving this guy a star for sure.

  • - Does this seem fishy to anyone?

  • - Umm, wow, rude.

  • - Get back in the box, this is my con.

  • - Meh!

  • - Come to think of it, yeah.

  • How can Orange be your millionth

  • visitor if you're in our kitchen?

  • - You're just jealous you didn't win first prize.

  • Hey, Spam-A-Lot, how do I get my prize?

  • - I just need your social and address

  • and the prize is yours.

  • - Come on, Orange, you even know what you're winning?

  • And why does he need your home address?

  • He's already in your home.

  • - Boo-yah.

  • - Perfect, I'll just go get your prize and...

  • (high-pitched whistle)

  • - That was weird.

  • - Greetings, friends.

  • I come bearing good news from the east.

  • I am a Saudi Prince, you see,

  • and my fortune has become too much to bear

  • and you seem like a worthy friend to give it to.

  • - Oh, yeah!

  • Easy money.

  • How much you giving me?

  • - How much you want?

  • - A bafillion dollars.

  • - Well, shoot (clears throat) you're wish is my command.

  • I just need your bank account number,

  • social security number, check routing number,

  • ahh, to sort these things through.

  • - Well, I don't have a bank account.

  • But Pear does!

  • Take his.

  • - Dude!

  • - It's okay, Pear.

  • I can share some of it with you.

  • - Many thanks, friend.

  • Allow me to get your fortune.

  • - Oh, my eyes aren't as perfect as they used to be

  • but, is that Orange I see?

  • - In the peel.

  • Do I know you?

  • - No, dear, but I'm a friend of your grandmother's.

  • - How's she doing?

  • - Oh, she's quite sick I'm afraid.

  • Low on Vitamin C.

  • She asked me to swing by and borrow some money for medicine.

  • - Oh, no!

  • Well, I'm all out of money.

  • Pear's bank account is dry.

  • - What?

  • Since when?

  • - Since about 20 seconds ago.

  • - Let's get that savings account too

  • if he's got that much money in it.

  • (clears throat)

  • That's normal, yes, International Transfers and all.

  • Nothing shady going on at all.

  • - Well, perhaps I could just take a few trinkets

  • back to cheer her up.

  • Let's see, maybe this magnet.

  • This spatula's pretty nice.

  • Isn't that the sweetest miniature apple?

  • - Ahh, I'm not a trinket.

  • - Sorry, munchkin.

  • It's the eyes.

  • Let's see, anything else I can take?

  • - Frying Pan?

  • - Hmm, well yeah, that does go with the spatula.

  • But how would I carry it?

  • - No, Frying Pan!

  • (screams)

  • (sizzles)

  • (screams)

  • - Oh, stop it, it burns like, ahh.

  • - Oh, gross.

  • They smell even worse when they're cooked.

  • - Ahh, no!

  • How am I gonna win my, umm, my.

  • What did I even win, again?

  • - You didn't win anything, dude.

  • It was all a scam.

  • And you wiped out my bank accounts.

  • - I'm sorry.

  • But don't worry, I'll refill your accounts.

  • - Really?

  • - With stars!

  • - Ahh.

  • - Great idea number 2,050.

  • Muffins are no longer allowed into the kitchen.

  • (glass breaks)

  • - Why wouldn't we allow muffins in the kitchen?

  • - Because some muffins, not all muffins but some muffins,

  • have poppyseeds.

  • - That's true.

  • - Okay, and what's wrong with poppyseeds in muffins?

- UPS special delivery.

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B1 中級

惱人的橙色--垃圾郵件 (Annoying Orange - Spam Mail)

  • 124 7
    Richard Yuan 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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