Four.

四發。

Ugh! Right up main street! Ugh!

呃！正中目標！呃！

Three, Two, STUPID!...

三、二、白癡！

Worth it!

太值得啦！

Deadpool.

死侍。

Why are you counting bullets?

你為什麼一直在數子彈數目？

Why don't you just pick up one of our many weapons?

幹嘛不撿我們掉的這些武器？

Well that's simple!

喔，原因很簡單！

Because these makes me look like one Bad... Mother...

因為這會讓我... 看起來像一個... 超他...

LANGUAGE!

嘴巴乾淨點！

What!

什麼！

I took care of it.

我解決他們啦。

And Language!

然後嘴巴放乾淨點！

Get out of my movie you f...

滾出我的電影啦你這王八...

LANGUAGE!!!

嘴巴放乾淨！

[DEADPOOL: HOW IT SHOULD HAVE ENDED]

[死侍應該怎麼完結]

Don't worry! I'm totally on top of this!

不要擔心！我完全掌控住了！

Maximum effort! - NO NO NO!

最大絕招！- 不不不！

And that's when the love of my life died!

這就是我一生摯愛死掉的時刻

No thanks to you, teen titans!

都你害的，少年悍將！

Hey! I didn't make you toss her off a 300 foot drop.

嘿！我又沒逼你把她從 300 英呎高的地方丟下去。

It was my maximum effort!

那是我的大絕招！

And what are you Micheal Bay?

還有你，以為自己是麥可貝嗎？

Nobody asked you to make a cliché explosion in the middle of my boss battle!

沒有人要你在我的最後大戰安排超老套爆炸吧！

Colossus needed my help.

鋼人需要我的幫助。

So yeah! Now I'm alone.

太棒啦，現在我又是一個人了。

The only girl of my dreams... gone forever...

我唯一的夢中情人... 永遠離開了...

Thanks to the X-Men.

而這都是 X 戰警害的。

Now you know how Firefly fans feel.

你現在知道《螢火蟲》迷的感受了吧。

Too Soon, Superman!

話別講得太早，超人！

So what happened to Ajax?

所以阿賈克斯最後怎麼樣了？

You mean Francis?

你是說法蘭西斯嗎？

He died under all that rubble.

他死在那堆瓦礫下了。

Are you sure?

你確定嗎？

Well he better have!

他最好給我死了！

If not I'm gonna find him, shoot him in the head, and then use the hole for...

如果他沒死的話，我會找到他，朝他的頭開一槍，然後用彈孔來...

Stop!

閉嘴！

This is making me uncomfortable.

這讓我很不舒服。

Why because you're PG-13?

為什麼？因為你們的電影只有輔導級？

Or were you gonna say BATMAN.

還是你準備要說「蝙蝠俠」。

No! I was... I would say...

我沒有... 我要說的是...

Because I'm Batman!

因為我是蝙蝠俠！

Are we PG-13?

我們是輔導級喔？

I always thought we were a hard PG.

我一直以為我們是保護級。

Blu-ray might be rated R.

藍光版本可能會是限制級。

That is a terrible idea!

這點子糟透了！

Uh excuse me, copycats.

呃不好意思喔，學人精們。

We were talking about my dead girlfriend.

我們是在聊我過世的女友吧。

Wade, please. You did not love this woman.

少來了，韋德。你才不愛這個女人。

Oh really! Well what do you know about it Mr. Metal Sack?

喔是喔，你怎麼知道這種事的，鐵蛋蛋先生？

I think you only enjoyed her for... sexy times.

我覺得你只有在... 床上才喜歡她。

What!? That is not true.

什麼？！才不是這樣。

Vanessa and I also made amazing sci-fi references together.

凡妮莎跟我一起玩了很多超讚的科幻電影梗耶。

I loved that girl!

我愛那個女孩！

There was a montage and everything!

我們還有一段蒙太奇來描述這段感情欸！

I didn't call her because... I'm ugly now.

我沒有打電話給她是因為... 我現在很醜。

That's too bad.

是喔，那真是太糟了。

Beast probably would've helped you out if you had just called us first.

如果你先打給我們的話，野獸說不定可以幫你。

I am going to kill you, little girl!

我要殺了妳這小女孩！

That's not nice.

這樣不好喔。

You think the studio could afford Beast!?

你覺得片商請得起野獸嗎？！

You can't just murder your enemies, Wade.

你不能老是想直接殺掉你的敵人，韋德。

Killing is wrong.

殺人是不對的。

What? Why? Superman does it.

什麼？為什麼？超人也這樣啊！

I do not just murder my enemies!

我才沒有殺掉我的敵人！

You're right. Not everyone in that destroyed city was your enemy.

對啦，你毀掉的那個城市裡不是每個人都是你的敵人。

Ooooh dear! Shots fired.

喔我的天！開戰囉！

See! Deadpool gets it.

看吧！死侍也懂這點。

Are we really gonna do this AGAIN?

我們真的又要再為這個吵架嗎？

You're a monster.

你真是個怪物。

Oh my gosh! I Saved the Earth, Bruce! Saved it.

我的天啊！我拯救了地球耶，布魯斯！我拯救的。

You've got to be stopped!

你必須被阻止！

I feel like you guys need to be alone.

我覺得你們好像需要獨處一下。

Excuse me. Oh. Don't get up. - What the--

不好意思。喔！不要起來。 - 你在做什－

Wouldn't want to have to animate you in a different position for a change.

我們可不想為了你換位置而再特別繪製別的動畫。

Just uh.. Yeah. - Get off me!

對... 好。－快滾！

Uh huh!

啊哈！

Where are you going?

你要去哪？

I'm gonna go find a place with a little more trouble.

我要去一個有更多麻煩的地方。

Good Lord! Look at those cars!

上帝啊！看看那些車子！

What is this, 2007?

怎麼看起來像 2007 的電影？

And then he stabbed me in the leg, and I still didn't bleed out!

然後他刺了我大腿一刀，但我還是沒有流血！

And you don't have any healing powers?

你沒有自我治療的力量？

Nope.

沒有。

Wow!

哇！

Hello, Francis!

哈囉，法蘭西斯！

Wade Wil...

韋德‧威爾...

Now ((bleep)) DIE ALREADY!

你終於他 X 的死了！

((bleep))

X！

Bleeps? Really?! Here?

消音？認真的？！連這裡也要？

((bleep))

X！

Finally!

終於！

Revenge stories... am I right guys?

這就是復仇... 對吧大家？

Hey can I get some chimichangas?

嘿我可以點一些墨西哥捲嗎？

Oh I'm afraid you aren't welcome here, Van Wilder.

喔，恐怕這邊並不歡迎你，留級之王。

Yes! Anti-hero.

對！反英雄。

What! How many times do I have to say this? I am not a ((bleep)) hero!

什麼！我到底要重複多少次？我才不是他 X 的英雄。

You aren't evil.

你也不邪惡。

I made everyone hate Green Lantern. That's kind of evil.

我讓大家都討厭綠燈俠欸。這件事蠻邪惡的吧。

But there is still good in you... so leave us!

但你內心仍然有良善... 所以請離開吧！

Ugh... fine.

呃... 好吧。

But I'm leaving the old Deadpool with you guys.

但我會留一個舊死侍給你們。

- Wait NO! - Please don't! - AAAAAGH!

- 等等不！拜託不要！ - 啊啊啊啊啊！

Nobody likes that Deadpool!

沒有人喜歡那個死侍！

Heeeeeeyeah! I wanna Shoot baby!

嘿～～～！我想要開槍，寶貝！

Shoot. Shoot stab shoot. Shoot stab shoot.

開槍。開槍刺刀開槍。開槍刺刀開槍。

Shoot stab shoot stab shoot stab shoot.

開槍刺刀開槍刺刀開槍刺刀開槍。

Shoot stab shoot. Shoot stab shoot. Shoot stab shoot stab shoot stab shoot

開槍刺刀開槍。開槍刺刀開槍。開槍刺刀開槍刺刀開槍刺刀開槍。

Deadpool shoot. Deadpool shoot. Deadpool stab and shoot and shoot.

死侍開槍。死侍開槍。死侍又刺又開槍。

Stab and shoot. Stab and shoot stab shoot stab and shoot stab and shoot.

刺刀開槍。刺刀開槍刺刀開槍刺刀開槍刺刀開槍。

Baby.

寶貝。

Aaaaawwe Yeah!

啊～～～～耶！

Thank you for watching!

感謝收看！

We hope you enjoyed our video.

希望你們享受我們的影片。

We have some other silky smooth videos for you to enjoy, just give one a little click and see where it takes you.

我們還有其他超棒的影片，只要點擊一下就可以看。

Or you can go to one of our lovely lovely links that were just pooped out by this sexy sexy unicorn.

或者你可以點擊我們超級超級性感的獨角獸帶來的... 超級超級可愛的連結。

That's all for now!

影片結束啦！

We'll see you next time, baby.

下回見，寶貝！