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Uhhhhhh.
*burps*
Almost threw up.
Hey guys and happy new year.
So this is the first video of the year
I know I'm a little bit late.
But as usual, I went back home to Hawaii for the holidays.
And I had a lot of time to really reflect on myself,
Like most people do around new years.
and I realized that I need to make some changes.
Most of you guys already know I've been doing Youtube for such a long time and;
During that time I'd say 95% of the content was always relatively clean
I mean not like Disney channel clean,
But I've never shown my drugs and alcohol, or anything too sexual.
I haven't even cursed on this channel without it getting bleeped
At least recently, I might have done something when I was younger.
I mean, I can't even say the s-word and they say that on tv now.
You know the word *bleep*, see what I'm talking about, it's a bunch of bull *bleep*
This is what happens when I try to curse here.
It's not even my choice.
Son of a *bleep*
Holy *bleep*
What the *bleep*
Oh *bleep*
Surprise mother *bleep*
AVADA KEDAVRA!
Huh, I guess I can curse.
*bleep*
See what I have to go through?
It's time for a change.
You see this?
This is why it gets censored.
This is 'PG MODE.'
That's what I'm on right now. It's ON.
Look at Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus,
even Selena Gomez.
They all switched off their "PG" switch and went from clean innocent stars
to the drug using, bucket peeing, sexy, sexual, sex superstars.
And at first everyone thought, including myself, well that-- they're just ruining their career.
And now they're doing better than ever because that is what people want,
which is why it is my time to break free.
By the end of this video, I'm gonna be switching this off for good. I'm not gonna kill myself.
I don't know why I did this.
No more Mr. Nice Ryan. No more clean innocent videos. It's time.
It's time to get a little edgy.
*flips switch*
*flip* *flip* *flip*
Huh? Guess it doesn't work.
Oh, you thought this was gonna be a vlog?
*crash*
That's something the old Ryan Higa would do.
Guess what? The old Ryan Higa, he's dead.
This is the new and improved Ryan Higa,
The Edgy Ryan Higa,
Redgy Higa.
By the time you finish this video, this switch is going off for good.
Welcome to "How to be Edgy."
I'm Redgy.
Welcome to "How to be Edgy." I'm Redgy.
Yeah, I introduced myself twice, but that's the first lesson of being edgy.
We ain't afraid of the rules.
Edgy people, we don't do what's normal.
We don't do what society tell us to do.
I mean, look at me. Look at what i'm wearing right now.
See this jacket? The zipper don't go straight at the middle
like every single other jacket.
It goes a little to the right.
Why? 'Cause *beep* society. That's why.
Now, look at my pants. Ripped. No big deal, right?
They're just ripped pants. Well, guess what.
These pants are ripped on purpose.
And I know you guys can't see it right now,
but I had some bad milk with my cereal today.
And now I got diarrhea.
Guess what color underwear I still chose to wear.
That's right.
Oh, kinda pull that too hard.
Now, if you really want to be edgy, you gotta commit.
Just wearing edgy clothes is nothing 'cause you can change.
But if you really commit like how i did, that's a sign of a true edgy person.
See my hair color?
Not even my real hair color.
I dyed it.
Well, I mean I sprayed it.
But it's not gonna come off until I shower later.
And these piercings?
Yeah, they may not be real,
but they still will leave a really dark red mark when I take them off later.
And most importantly, if you want to be edgy,
you gotta have tats.
Can you grab that sleeve?
Thank you.
Every edgy person you can think of has tats.
And I know you guys think you know what I'm gonna say, but no.
These tats, these are real.
These are real temporary tattoos.
And they're all edgy.
These are tattoos that nobody gets.
This Chinese character right here?
It's in Japanese.
I can't even read Korean.
Tell me how many people are brave enough to get something like that.
Well, how about this one?
A lot of people get this tattoo because they love their mom.
But I got this one, 'cause...from when I punch my mom
in the heart.
Or even all of these.
So edgy the stories behind the tats didn't even happen yet.
This is the story of when i got a copyright claim from Disney.
Alright.
Now that you look the part and dress the part, here's the final step before you can
turn this bad boy off and start to say words like *bleep*.
All you gotta do is act the part.
'Cause edgy people, we live on the edge all the time.
Like right now, I'm literally sitting
at the edge of my seat.
When I sleep, I sleep at the edge of the bed.
And my bed is at the edge of the room,
which is at the edge of my house,
which is located at the edge of Las Vegas,
which is at the edge of Nevada, near the edge of the USA. And the USA, as we all know,
is on the edge of bankruptcy.
But we don't care,
'cause edgy people-- we take risks.
Forget the consequences. Just Nike it.
Just Shia Labeouf it. Just do it!
Oh, it's the law to wear your seat belt when you're at the wheel?
Pssh. Put my arm around it
like it's no big deal.
Oh, mom made spaghetti tonight?
Pssh! I still wear a shirt that's white.
Oh, you have to wait an hour after you eat to go swim?
Pssh! I just wait 45 minutes and jump in.
Or the way the Chipotle says guacamole costs extra?
Pssh! How much extra?
A dollar eighty.
Pssh!
Okay, no, then.
Okay, yeah, maybe that last one wasn't that edgy, but if you were to continue the scene...
Oh, do you want lettuce?
What, does that cost more too?
- No. - *bleep* yeah.
(coughs, gags)
All right. Now that you know all the steps,
you know how to look the part, you know how to dress the part,
you know how to act the part. You know what time it is.
Time to go edgy Redgy forever.
And now for the very first time,
I will be debuting the very first
uncensored curse word on this channel.
And it goes a little something like this.
(clears throat)
Sh--
Okay, yeah, this video was a vlog. That didn't actually really happen. I wouldn't actually break a real laptop.
Anyway, for all of you that actually thought
that I was serious for a second, I'm not really Redgy.
There is no Reggie. I'm not gonna change
for all the people that thought I was serious. Look, the truth is,
I am getting older.
And usually, with people in the entertainment industry,
as they get older, they intentionally try to get edgier
so that they can appeal to an older audience.
And honestly, I just, I don't want to do that.
Look, if my stuff gets edgier over time,
because I'm getting older, that's fine.
But I'm not gonna force it just to appeal to a new audience.
I'm not getting edgy. I'm not really changing my image.
In fact, because I know there's already gonna be a lot of you
who didn't get the sarcasm in this video,
all those bleeps you heard in this video that you thought
you were offended by weren't actually curse words.
I actually didn't even curse once throughout filming this entire video.
This is what it really sounded like without all the bleeps.
You know, the word "I"? It's a bunch of bull will!
Son of a never!
Holy curse.
What the on?
Oh, this.
Surprise, mother channel.
Because.
'Cause if society, that's why.
Can start saying words like "I."
Did yeah!
You see? I wasn't cursing at all.
And if you put all those bleeps I said
together, it's actually a message that I created to help assure you guys that I'm
not really changing. And if you didn't already catch it, this is what it says.
I will never curse on this channel because if I did...
If I did,
that shit would be crazy!
I'm sorry. I had to do it. I had to.
And now for all of you that still want to complain, please see my video,
Censorship Makes No Sense.
Have a good night. I'll see you next year. I'm just kidding. I'll see you guys this year.
I'll see you guys probably next week. Okay, bye.
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【Nigahiga】成為叛逆浪子的終極指南! (How To Be Edgy!)

10518 分類 收藏
Jack Lu 發佈於 2016 年 3 月 13 日    Jack Lu 翻譯    Kristi Yang 審核
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