It seems to happen rather mysteriously.

這似乎發生得相當神祕。

We talk of somewhat randomly clicking with people.

說起來有點像是隨意的和他人一拍即合。

Trying to plan for this sounds like cheating.

試圖為此做計劃聽起來像是在作弊。

But there is something at the heart of many friendships that seems important to identify, and in a way, to get good at: Vulnerability.

但是，在許多友誼的核心中，有一些東西似乎很重要，需要識別，並且在某種程度上，要擅長：脆弱性。

It's too easy to assume that what makes us likable are our strengths, our accomplishments, the things we're proud of.

我們很容易認為，讓我們受人喜愛的是我們的優勢、我們的成就和我們引以為豪的事情。

Certainly this impresses, but it isn't what draws others to us.

這當然令人印象深刻，但這並不是吸引他人的原因。

We get close to someone the more they, and we, find ourselves able gracefully to depart from the official story of what human beings are like, and can start to show the awkward truths which underlie the cheerful facade.

我們越接近某人，他們和我們就會發現自己能夠優雅地脫離關於人類是什麼樣的世俗禮節，開始展示隱藏在快樂外表下的尷尬真相。

These are the truths with which we've been lonely for too long.

這些就是我們孤獨了太久的真相。

How unlike normal sexuality our sex lives actually are; how full of envy are our careers are proving; how unsatisfactory our family can be; how worried we are all the time.

我們的性生活實際上與正常的性行為有多麼不同； 事實證明，我們的職業生涯充滿了嫉妒； 我們的家庭會有多不滿意； 我們一直很擔心。

Revealing any of these things places us in great danger.

揭示其中任何一件事都將我們置於極大的危險之中。

Others could laugh; social media would have a field day.

別人可以笑，社交媒體就會大肆瘋傳。

That's the point.

這正是問題的關鍵。

We can only get close by revealing things which would, in the wrong hands, be capable of inflicting appalling humiliation on us.

人與人親近的方式即是對彼此揭露那些在別人手中會對我們造成可怕的羞辱的事情。

Friendship is the dividend of gratitude that flows from acknowledgement that one has offered something very valuable to someone.

友誼是一種感激的紅利，它來自於對某人提供了非常有價值的東西的承認。

Not a fancy present, but something even more precious: the key to one's self-esteem and dignity.

不是一件昂貴的禮物，而是更珍貴的東西: 一個人自尊和尊嚴的關鍵。

It's deeply poignant that we should expend so much effort on trying to look strong before the world.

在世人面前，我們要花這麼多的力氣，讓自己看起來很強大，這真是令人心酸。

When, all the while, it's really only ever the revelation of the somewhat embarrassing, sad, melancholy, and anxious bits of us that are what makes us endearing to others and can transform strangers into friends.

其實一直以來，它只是揭示了我們身上多少有些尷尬、悲傷、憂鬱和焦慮的部分，而正是這些部分讓我們變得親近他人，並能把陌生人變成朋友。