B1 中級 美國腔 325860 分類 收藏
Have I ever told you the story about how I met your grandfather?
He was a charmer.
I was at the park one day when this man walked up that I'd never met and said, "I've been staring at you for the last hour. You're all I can think about."
My heart was a flutter.
This guy was just staring at me. Then he walks up and essentially says he's obsessed with me.
I took him for a playboy so I declined, of course.
But your grandfather was persistent. He wouldn't take no for an answer.
I told him flat out, I wasn't interested. But he wouldn't take a hand.
He sent two dozen roses to my office.
I show up to work and there are two fucking bushels of roses on my desk.
My co-workers thought my mom died.
He finally won me over and I agreed to go out with him that night.
I said I would have one drink with him, in a public place.
When he pulled up at my house, he looked at me and smiled.
I said, “Why are you so happy?”
He said, “Because I have a date with a girl that I'm gonna marry.”
Yeah, he fucking said that.
We were dancing and when this other boy tried to cut in, your grandfather sucked him right in the jaw.
He punched Mike. We were just dancing.
I still have a necklace he gave me that night. It was a family heirloom.
He asked me to wear his mother's pearls.
After our date, he wrote me the most beautiful love letter with his most animate feelings.
I feel like I've known you my entire life.
Again, after hanging out once.
Of course, my father didn't approve.
So, he sneak up the rain pipe and climb in my window.
This fucking psycho shows up to my apartment at 2a.m. without so much as a text.
I called the cops and I didn't put down the kitchen knife until they showed up.
From then on, we were inseparable. We've married for 50 wonderful years.
I bought a handgun, moved to a new burrow and legally changed my name.
I still think about him everyday.
What was that?
Hey guys, I'm Murf from College Humor.
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老人對比年輕人的愛情故事 (The Same Love Story: Old People vs. Young People)

325860 分類 收藏
吳宜臻 發佈於 2018 年 2 月 4 日    吳宜臻 翻譯    Kristi Yang 審核
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