I'm crying because I spent $1,000 to be in it.

我哭是因為我花了 1000 美金來參加

You're getting married!

妳要結婚了!

Oh my god, that dress is hideous.

噢！天啊，那件禮服醜死了

I don't really like who you're marrying.

我不太喜歡妳的結婚對象

Even though you've sent me two texts and four emails about this, I'm still gonna ask you what I'm responsible for.

即使妳已經寄給我兩封簡訊和四封電子郵件跟我說明過了，我還是會來問妳，我要負責做什麼

Oh, a sleeveless dress for an outdoor wedding, at night, in the mountains.

噢，在晚上的深山裡穿無袖洋裝參加戶外婚禮

I won't be cold.

我都不會冷的

Oh, can you give me the names of the groomsmen so I can stalk them on Facebook?

噢，妳可以給我伴郎們的名字嗎？這樣我才能在臉書上「追蹤」他們

This is completely against my morals.

這完全違反我的道德觀

You know, actually I don't give a (bleep) what color your wedding invitations are.

妳知道嗎，其實我根本 XX (消音) 的不在乎妳的婚禮請帖是什麼顏色

This is potential blackmail.

這些照片能成為以後勒索用的材料

I flew across country for this.

我飛越整個國家來參加

I'm not getting you something from Crate and Barrel as well.

我才不會從 Crate and Barrel (美國家具品牌) 買任何東西送妳

Another dress that highlights my insecurities. Awesome!

又一件會暴露我沒有安全感身材部位的衣服，真棒啊！

I'm actually just crying because I'm the last single friend.

我哭其實是因為，我是朋友圈裡最後一個還單身的

No, but you look great, for sure.

但妳看起來超棒的，真的

I wish this was me.

真希望新娘是我

I wish this was me, I wish this was me!

真希望新娘是我！我真希望是我的婚禮！

I've taken enough goddamn pictures!

我拍夠這些該死的照片了！

Why have the groomsmen already started drinking?

為什麼伴郎們已經開始喝了？

You told me you hated her.

妳告訴過我妳討厭她的

This one, here.

就是她，在這裡

I'm so broke.

我窮到快吃土了

If you can't find me at any point tonight, I'll be at the bar.

如果妳今晚找不到我的話，我會在酒吧裡

No, actually I don't wanna hold your dress while you pee.

不，其實我並不想在妳上廁所的時候幫妳拉裙襬

Despite all my complaining, I'm still gonna make you do this for my wedding.

儘管我抱怨這些，我還是會要妳在我的婚禮上做同樣的事

We're done with the photos.

我們受夠拍照了

We've had enough.

真是夠了

I give it three years.

我猜這婚姻只會維持三年

Three months.

三個月

Yeah.

對啊

You guys are soulmates.

你們真是靈魂伴侶