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  • -You know, It's so funny, Beth.

  • We came to the park to get away from the shallowness of

  • everyday life, and people around here seem to be more

  • concerned about their appearances than anybody.

  • When it's all about looks, you don't get a chance to know the

  • real person.

  • Like, what's underneath that bikini, you know?

  • -I know, exactly.

  • -No, seriously.

  • Like, what's underneath?

  • Like, if you took off your bikini, what would I see?

  • -Well.

  • It's just, like, skin.

  • It's just skin.

  • -Oh, god.

  • -Anyway, what do I know about you?

  • Who's the real David?

  • -Well, it's complicated.

  • -Try me.

  • -I'm just a guy who wishes I could have sex with someone.

  • I mean, there was Lucy Davis in high school, and ever since

  • then, and now I'm 38, and I don't know.

  • -David.

  • Women don't care about what it is you have down here.

  • -No?

  • -No.

  • What women care about is what's up here.

  • -Oh, brains.

  • -No.

  • I--I was pointing to your hairline.

  • Yeah, women like a man with a full head of hair.

  • You're balding, and it's completely sickening me and--

  • I gotta go.

  • -Wha?

  • Beth--

  • ah!

  • DR. NANCY (OFFSCREEN): You know, while you're here, we

  • could fix up that nose.

  • Highlight those cheekbones a little bit.

  • Would you like that?

  • DAVID (OFFSCREEN): Can you do something about my chin, too?

  • -Sure.

  • We'll tell the insurance company

  • it's a deviated septum.

  • (SHOUTING) Jeremy, cancel my lunch.

  • [HISS OF GAS]

  • -I'm going to put Mr. Wain under and then molest him for

  • a little while.

  • Now don't be shocked, Mr. Wain.

  • It sometimes takes months for the swelling to go down.

  • Well?

  • -It's beautiful.

  • -Somewhere in that bar is the woman of my dreams.

  • I can smell it.

  • Yep.

  • Things are starting to look like roses for good old David

  • Wain.

  • -All right, David, now look.

  • Don't get your confidence up too much.

  • I mean, after all, you are still just a man.

  • -Have you seen how handsome I am?

  • -David, handsome isn't just about a look.

  • It's about, uh, your spirit, your state of mind.

  • -Shh.

  • Shh.

  • Pshh.

  • Pshh.

  • Psshh.

  • I can fake all that.

  • I'm David.

  • And I'm handsome.

  • If you need an extra jumper cables, I happen to have some

  • in my trousers.

  • Don't get me wrong.

  • I like nipple hair--

  • I guess my favorite currency is, first, the dime, then the

  • quarter, then the nickel--

  • The new mortgage rate crisis is making it very difficult

  • for young people--

  • Ultimately, it's the best strategy that wins.

  • And that's why they call it backgammon--

  • Aw, awww.

  • -Oh, Jesus, David.

  • Come on.

  • -My face, my beautiful face.

  • They smacked the shit out of it.

  • Women hate me more than ever.

  • -Well, I told you, David.

  • It's not about the physical appearance.

  • -Please explain.

  • -Well, you see, David, they miss the

  • funny, sensitive David.

  • The David that if they took home, he'd

  • be eternally grateful.

  • What you need to do is find your--

  • -No, I get it.

  • I get it.

  • -Wait!

  • Stop, stop, stop--

  • Hey.

  • Hey.

  • I, uh, I'm sorry.

  • I don't have an appointment, I know--

  • -But you want to go back to the way things were.

  • I've been expecting you.

  • -How did you now?

  • -They always come back, sooner or later.

  • -Oh!

  • [BOTH LAUGH SOFTLY]

  • -It's great to have the old David back.

  • We all missed you.

  • -Well, it's good to be back, Zandy.

  • -As Confucius said, everything has its beauty, but not

  • everyone sees it.

  • -He also said, before you embark on a journey of

  • revenge, dig two graves.

  • [SUSPENSEFUL HORROR MOVIE MUSIC]

-You know, It's so funny, Beth.

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Wainy Days #8: Plugged - REMASTERED! (Wainy Days #8: Plugged - REMASTERED!)

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    紅謹 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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