You saw her for the first time in the elevator of your apartment building.

你會跟她在公寓電梯裡初次見面

You guys actually had a really nice conversation.

你們倆會聊得非常開心

She's perfect. She's beautiful. She's your whole universe.

她完美又漂亮!！她就是你想要的一切！

Food, water, shelter, and her.

吃的！喝的！住的！還有她本人！

After a few conversations, you've already fallen in love with her.

之後你們還會聊幾次天，你已完全愛上她

You start to feel like she's the one.

你開始認定他就是你的真命天女

You've already imagined the fairy tale romance you'll both share for the rest of your lives.

你不停想像和她共度幸福快樂又浪漫的下半輩子

When you go to sleep at night, you close your eyes and cuddle with your pillow, pretending like it's her.

你晚上睡覺時閉上雙眼，抱著枕頭，幻想正抱著她

Now you're dreaming, and she's in it. God she's beautiful.

然後做了個夢，她當然也在裡面，天啊她太美了！

She grabs your hand and looks at you in the eye and says "I love you".

她拉起你的手，看著你的眼睛並對你說我愛你

Your heart melts. You go in for a kiss. Then you wake up.

你的心已融化，正當你要波她的時候.....你醒了！

Reality hits you. You catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and are disgusted because deep down you know that your obsession with her is unhealthy.

歡迎回到現實。你看了一眼鏡中的自己覺得有點噁，因為內心深處知道這種迷戀是不健康的

You keep telling yourself that your puppy love is endearing.

你不斷告訴自己說這樣純純的愛好甜蜜

Listen to me, it's not. It's toxic.

聽我說，這一點都不甜蜜！這 有 毒 ！

Why? Because you're not going to get this girl.

為什麼？因為你不會贏得她的芳心！

Maybe she has a boyfriend, maybe she has no idea you like her, maybe she put you in the friend zone.

她可能已死會， 她可能不知道你喜歡她，她可能只把你當好朋友

None of these situations will end well for you.

以上任何一種狀況對你來說，都不會有好結果

Let's say she already has a boyfriend. You are the I'll-be-here-when-you-breakup guy.

假如她有男朋友好了，你會成為「分手秀秀男」

You patiently wait for her to break up so that you can be there for the rebound.

你耐心等她分手，這樣你才有機會盡備胎的責任

You'll end up waiting for years until one day you log onto Facebook and see this.

到頭來，是你等了她好幾年後，直到有天你登入臉書後看到這個（已訂婚）

So let's say you're not that guy, but if the girl you're in love with doesn't even know that you like her, then you're the I-can't-tell-her-how-I-feel guy.

不當分手秀秀男，但如果那女孩根本不知道你喜歡她，那你就成了「怕怕告白男」

You're so scared to ruin the friendship that you won't tell her you're attracted to her.

你不想告訴她你有多喜歡她，因為你怕告白會毀了這段友誼

She has no clue you like her.

所以她怎麼可能會發現你喜歡她

When you invite her over to Netflix and chill, you both literally watch Netflix and chill.

當你邀請她來家裡蓋棉被純聊天，你們就真的只會是蓋棉被純聊天

You know you should tell her how you feel, but instead you jerk off to the thought of being together every night.

你覺得你應該告白，但你每天晚上卻只用左右手，讓你的弟弟跟自己告白

Maybe you're not this guy either.

好假設你也不是這種人

That means you are the friend-zoned guy.

那最後就只剩下「戀人未滿男」

You've tried asking her out, and maybe she's even agreed to go on a few dates with you.

你試著約她出去，她也幾次答應跟你出去

But in the end, you got the "I don't wanna ruin our friendship" talk.

但你最後只會得到「我不想毀了我們的友誼」的屁話

Now you're basically like her gay BFF, providing her emotional support when she complains about the guy she's dating.

當她情路不順需要發洩的時候，你就成了她的「gay 蜜」兼垃圾桶

You're hoping she'll come around and realize what a great guy you are, but she doesn't.

你好希望能跟她熱絡起來，讓她發現你多麼優秀，但，這並不會發生！

So what do you do in these situations? Well, you're going to stop.

那你現在該怎麼辦？ 恩，你得到此為止！

Stop living under the delusion that she's the one. She's not the only girl for you.

快從這一廂情願的幻象跳出來！她不是你的真命天女！

She's not the only girl who will ever understand you.

她不會是這一生唯一懂你的女孩

Stop spending so much of your time on a girl that doesn't like you back.

別把時間花在一個不會喜歡你的人身上

With the time that you're wasting pining over this girl, you could be finding a girl that does like you back.

當你在留戀她的同時，你早就已經可以找到一個喜歡你的女生了

Stop feeding your obsessive behavior. Stop stalking her Instagram, her Facebook, her Snapchat.

不要鼓勵自己深陷其中，不要瘋狂偷看她的 Instagram、Facebook 或是Snap Chat

In fact, don't ever look at them again.

其實，根本不要再看了

So here's what you're going to do right after watching this video.

看完這部影片後，我建議你可以這樣做

Step one: You're going to ask her out. If you've already asked her out and she wasn't interested, then skip to the next step.

第一：約她出去！如果你已經約了，但她沒興趣，請跳到下一步

Step two: If she isn't enthusiastic about the prospect of having romantic relations with you, then move the fuck on.

第二：如果她並不想跟你共結良緣，你他奶奶的給我找下一個！

And do the following.

然後這樣做：

One: Talk to more girls.

一：多和女生聊天

Talk to the girls standing next to you in line. Talk to the girl at the metro stop. Talk to your cute co-worker.

跟排你後面的女生聊天，跟一起等地鐵的女生聊天，跟你可愛的同事聊天

Talk to as many girls as you can, because the more girls you talk to, the more likely you are to meet someone you mutually connect with.

抓到機會就聊！因為跟越多女生說話才越有機會找到心靈相通的人

Number two: Start working on your damn self.

二：給我振作起來！

You've spent most of your waking hours thinking about this girl.

不管你之前花了多少時間在想這個天女

And now that you have free time, go outside. Go traveling. Go to the gym. Get some hobby. Learn a new language. Go out with your friends.

你現在已是自由身，走出戶外！去旅行！去健身房！培養一些興趣！學個外語！跟朋友出去！

Women like guys who lead interesting lives.

女人都喜歡生活多采多姿的男人

Invest in yourself and it'll pay off tenfold.

投資自己，你將被加倍奉還

You'll be so glad you did.

你會慶幸你這樣做了

I'm gonna tell you what I wish somebody had told me ten years ago.

因為我真的希望有人能在十年前告訴我這些

You know that girl? The girl that you've decided is the one for you?

還記得她嗎？那個你自以為是的真命天女

The girl you've already imagined a fairy tale romance with.

那個你想跟她幸福快樂的那位

The one you fantasize about at night.

那個你晚上總是幻想的那位

The girl you're sure is the only one for you.

那個讓你痴心絕對的女孩

Listen to me. You're wrong about her. You are wrong.

聽我說，你看錯人了！大錯特錯！

You're life is not a romantic comedy. She's not going to come around someday.

你的人生並不是一齣愛情喜劇，她永遠都不會發現你的存在

She's not going to leave her boyfriend.

她也不可能跟她的男朋友分手

She's not the only one out there.

她並不是唯一

You know who's actually the one for you? One of these girls you won't bother getting to know because you're too obsessed over a girl that doesn't like you back.

你知道誰才會是唯一嗎？那些你沒注意到的女孩，因為你把注意力都放在那個不喜歡你的人身上！

So stop making excuses and go meet more girls.

所以不要再找藉口了！去見見其他盤菜吧！

That's how you find the one.

真正的真命天女就會出現

No fucking excuses. Just go.

不要找什麼屁理由，做就對了！