I'm dressed like this because tomorrow is Halloween,

unless this is a rerun, in which case I look like a total jackass.

Halloween has so many fun traditions:

tricking, treating, bobbing for apples,

mailing in your November rent check;

but I especially love carving the jack-o-lantern.

It combines my two favorite things:

knives and faces.

So, tonight, we here at The Late Show

want to share a few of our own pumpkin carving tips.

Jim?

Pumpking carving is a treasured fall tradition.

Let's make your next fall party jack-o-mazing!

If your pumpkin's having a good time, so will your guests,

so give him a big, pumpkiny grin.

Don't forget the eyes!

They're the window to the soul.

Why should the outside of the pumpkin have all the fun?

As you carve this one, make eye contact with one of your guests

and say, "I think this is your head, and I'm doing this to you!"

Just because you're smaller than rest of the gang

doesn't mean you can't get in on the fun.

Or, maybe it does.

Like people, some pumpkins are born failures.

Get the party started with a new way to serve your famous Halloween punch.

But, you're not done yet!

This punch bowl needs a spigot.

And, if you're in a hurry, no problem!

Just skip the pumpkin.

Here's one for the ladies.

It's 2015.

Halloween's not just for boy pumpkins anymore.

Now you've got a jill-o-lantern.

Don't forget to light the special lady candle!

It's perfect, just like you are.

Who's hungry for dessert?

This is an easy treat to make, but good luck having leftovers.

Mmm! That's farm fresh!

Who wants whipped cream?

Here's a fun new take on an old favorite.

Stop letting society tell you what a pumpkin is.

It's as good as gourd.

Have a fabulous fall, and see you in November,