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(upbeat dance music)
Come on Fox, go over there!
He's cute.
You wanna make out with someone?
Uhhh...
I would literally die
if I made out with someone like once only.
Yeah, how do you live?
I don't get it, I don't get it.
I'm good.
Aaaahh.
This is so typical of you.
You're so cute.
Will you just go there...
Why would you wear your favorite flannel today
if you're not gonna go hit on some bitches?
Oh, you're so cute.
So that's me. The single friend.
I don't mind being single, but for some reason,
everyone else seems to.
Why does it matter if I'm dating anyone?
Because you're awesome and you're cool
and you deserve to be with someone who loves you.
Plus you have amazing boobs that need to be seen.
Also, if you never date anyone ever,
how are you gonna take a couple's basket weekend?
Being a single friend means a few different things.
First, everyone is always tryin' to set you up.
Richard!
Reminds me of the Dunkaroos kangaroo.
What about Melody?
She keeps calling me bro.
No, Jake.
You guys! I don't wanna be dating anyone!
I like being alone.
Amber?
Oh! Amber is so fuckin' hot!
It also means you spend a lot of time
being the third wheel.
Or the fifth wheel.
Or the seventh wheel.
Basically, you're all the odd numbers.
Three, five, seven, nine, you get the point.
But it's not all bad. Being the single friend
also means you never have any relationship drama.
Oh, dating fuckin' sucks!
It turns out Heather, still in love with her ex-ex-girlfriend.
The gymnast?
No, the contortionist.
Oh yeah.
Kim went MIA (missing in action) and hasn't text me back.
What!
Whatever, it's fine.
I need a grown-ass man anyway.
Yeah, no scrubs.
No scrubs.
But honestly, being single is pretty nice, 99% of the time
you get to do what you wanna do whenever you wanna do it
with your favorite person in the world, you.
The only time it sucks is when you actually do have a crush on someone
and you literally have no idea how to behave.
Oh god, is she coming over here?
Hey Fox, I didn't know you came here.
Uh, yeah, it's great.
The Yelp review is kinda deceiving.
You'd think being poorly rated when it has 3.5 stars
which is relatively decent.
The entire star system rating is just crazy to me.
Oh, god, stop talking about Yelp stars, you weirdo.
Yeah, I guess I never thought about it like that.
We should hang out sometime.
You could tell me about your Yelp theories and stuff.
Say something, literally anything.
She would love to.
She's free this Friday.
Okay. Sweet. Bye Fox.
See. Being a single friend isn't that bad.
Especially when you have crazy-ass friends to help you through it.
Hold up. Hold up.
You see him over there?
I bet you I can get him to buy me a drink quicker than you can.
Can I use tongue?
I'll be.
Then It's motherfuckin' on!
Fox.
(laughter)
(upbeat dance music)
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魯蛇解密,專屬單身族的小確幸! (What It’s Like Being The Perpetually Single Friend)

62735 分類 收藏
Christina Lin 發佈於 2017 年 6 月 27 日    Christina Lin 翻譯    Kristi Yang 審核
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