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Hey Vsauce, Michael here today with a very special video.
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I am joined today via Skype with two members of Underbelly.
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They're in New Jersey; I'm in New York.
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We're bridging the Hudson with knowledge and information.
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Today they're going to school me on Pokémon.
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I'm Jiggly Puff. My name's Justin.
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This is Poliwhirl, but my name is Shawn.
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Right here I put together if you guys remember the Pokedex
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from the original anime and the videogame.
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I came together and wrote the grimmest,
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scariest Pokedex entries I could find.
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The Pokémon, or Pocket Monsters,
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they're basically these animals that you capture with the Pokeballs
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and you keep them on you. That's why they're called Pocket Monsters.
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Yeah, exactly, except doesn't Pocket Monsters
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already sound way too inappropriate for children?
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- That's pretty darn scary. - So right off the bat,
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they're starting on a foundation of terror and inappropriateness.
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Hey Michael, is that a monster in your pocket,
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or are you just happy to see us?
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- It's actually both. - Oh!
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But anyway, this is Hypno.
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It carries a pendulum-like device.
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There once was an incident in which it took away a child it hypnotized.
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I'm really glad I didn't watch this show so much as a kid.
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- I'd be more messed up than I am now. - Yeah, all this stuff is in the games.
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Well, do we know what happened to the kid,
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or is it just this mysterious thing in the Pokedex?
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I'm gonna say the child was eaten. This one's even worse.
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It's Haunter. By licking, it saps the victim's life.
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It causes shaking that won't stop until the victim's demise.
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I had a girlfriend like that once.
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Drifloon, which is like basically a giant hot air balloon kind of guy
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if that makes sense.
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It tugs on the hands of children to steal them away.
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However, it gets pulled around instead.
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So this Pokémon which looks like a balloon, like a child's balloon,
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parents think that the children are just playing with a balloon,
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but actually this Pokémon's trying to steal them away,
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kidnap the child.
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But they're so light weight, they're just getting pulled around like a balloon.
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- Oh. - Yeah.
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These are some of the scariest things. I don't even know if I can sleep tonight.
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Spoink bounces around on its tail.
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The shock of its bouncing makes its heart pump.
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As a result this Pokémon cannot afford to stop bouncing.
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If it stops, its heart will stop.
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So it's like Tigger with a heart condition?
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I like that. Well, it's really nice. Just keep moving kids.
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Oh yeah, right. It's a lesson in good exercise habits.
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- That's true. - Did you guys see this thing
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about how Pikachu, over the years, has lost weight and gotten more fit?
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Yeah, they thinned him up. Kind of like Garfield
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when he started out really big and then they kept drawing him smaller.
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Even though he was this giant fat cat, he really wasn't.
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Kabutops, which is kind of like this guy with big claws.
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With sharps claws, this ferocious ancient Pokemon
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rips apart prey and sucks their body fluids.
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Sucks their body fluids?
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Their body fluids, not bodily—
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- Oh, I see what you did there. - So not just blood but everything?
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- Everything. - Yeah.
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Even some of those mysterious fluids
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that even I can't explain some mornings? - Absolutely.
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There's a Pokémon called Cubone. It basically has a skull on its head.
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Cubone wears the skull of its deceased mother.
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Its cries echo inside the skull
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and come out as a sad melody.
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And it's also fashionable.
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That's true.
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OK, guys, tell me where can I find out more about Pokémon?
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If you want to find out more about Pokémon, we have a Pokémon public service announcement
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on our channel right now,
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and we actually went into the studio— Michael was there.
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We brought in the voice actor who played Professor Oak on the anime
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to voice our Pokémon public service announcement
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on tall grass, the dangers of going into tall grass.
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It's on our channel right now.
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And we've got all sorts of other things out there in terms of video games.
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It's Sonic, we're talking about Metal Gear,
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we're talking about 3D movies.
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I want to stop you there. Speaking of 3D movies,
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look what I've got here.
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It is a pack of Jaws 3D trading cards from 1983.
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- Sweet. - And you know what's in here?
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- No. - Chewing gum. I'm going to eat it right now.
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- Do you think you should— - No, no.
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This video is supposed to be grim, not a vomitfest.
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This gum is older than me.
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- Let me see the cards. - OK.
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Here's the gum. I'm going to eat it.
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Sweet.
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- Wait. Did you just eat it? - Yeah.
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- It's from like 1985. - I put something in my mouth
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that's older than me. 1983.
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- Oh. 19—oh.
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That should be your new show motto.
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"We put things in out mouth that are older than us."
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So as the guys put their masks back on,
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I'm going to have a little bit of coffee from my Sun Your Buns mug
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and subscribe to Vsauce, subscribe to Underbelly
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for more knowledge, and as always, thanks for watching.
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So Justin, is that gum holding together? Is it just normal gum?
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I'm going to go to the hospital in like ten minutes.
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- Yeah. - Oh, one piece dropped off.
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No.
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It tastes like school chalk.
