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Hello, who's this?
Congratulations! You are speaking to Donald Trump.
Ohhh, hello, Donald.
How are you Hillary?
Haven't seen you since my last wedding.
Well, I'm sure I'll see you at the next one.
Anyway, I just finished the GOP debate. As usual I was fantastic.
Everyone loved me.
Now look, I know you're about to go our for an interview with Jimmy Fallon.
But he's a total lightweight.
So I'm gonna do him a favor and interview you instead.
That's great. You know how much I love being interviewed.
As long as you don't start talking over me when I'm trying to make a point...
Yeah, yeah. Question one.
You recently said, quote "Mr. Trump insults and dismisses women."
But tell me, what would you do to help women in this country.
You know, Donald. I've spent my entire career fighting for women's rights.
I'll push for equal pay in the work place,
for protecting women's health and reproductive rights,
making quality, affordable childcare reality for families.
That's what I believe in, that's what I'm fighting for.
You know, I'm really curious, Donald.
Umm, what is your stance on women's issues.
Look, I know a lot of women.
And they all have issues.
(Applause)
Next question,
how do you plan to get your messages across to the American people?
Well, look, Donald. It's a long campaign.
I'm traveling across our great nation.
I'm listening to people's stories.
I'm confident that Americans will see I can deliver for them,
that they can count on me for them and their families.
See, you sound like a robot.
Bleep, bloop, bleep, bloop. Does. Not. Compute.
You wanna win?
Here is what you gotta do.
First, yell.
I yell all the time.
In fact, this phone isn't even plugged in,
I'm just yelling.
(Applause)
And you're hearing me, okay?
(Applause)
Next, pick three things everyone loves and say you hate them.
Watch. Puppies? Stupid.
Rainbows? Total losers.
Fall foliage? Tree puberty.
Are you writing all these down?
Umm, hold on, let me grab my pen.
(Applause)
Uhh, okay, Donald, I got it.
Alright. Next question, immigration.
Wall, or giant wall?
(Laughter)
You know, come on, Donald.
America was built by people who came here.
They work their hearts out for a better life.
And that's what many immigrants are doing today,
their dream is to become American citizens.
(Applause)
You know, you're trying to stop them.
I mean, do you have any idea what it's like
to work so hard for something, to be so close to getting it,
and then someone pops out of nowhere and tries to take it all away?
Are you talking about Bernie Sanders?
Look, I hate to say this but I think he's losing his hair
Well...
I hate to say it, he's a great guy, fantastic.
I hate to say it, he's losing his hair. (Well...)
At least he doesn't have just one strand that he twirls over his head like a soft-serve at Dairy Queen.
(Applause)
Toupee, I mean, touche.
Anyway, you're welcome for this interview.
I just really helped your campaign.
Your poll number's gonna be fantastic, they're gonna be big.
Don't you mean they're gonna be HUUUGE?
That's right. They're gonna be HUUUUGE!
Turn the music.
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【吉米秀】川普與希拉蕊的正面對決:超酸熱線! (Donald Trump's Phone Call with Hillary Clinton)

222283 分類 收藏
Vivi Lee 發佈於 2015 年 10 月 22 日    Vivi Lee 翻譯    葉子維 審核
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