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We are back with Justin Bieber,
and how's your summer been?
Summer's been pretty good. - Yeah?
Yup. - You wore very little clothes.
I...I... (audience laughter)
Right? You had your shirt off in every picture I saw of you.
I guess. - It's hot wherever you go,
probably.
It is pretty hot, yeah.
(screams and applause)
Who's feeding you grapes there?
That was just a friend. - Well, that's...
That's a selfie, and then there's that.
(audience: Whoo!)
You need to take care of yourself.
(audience laughter)
Look at that. Um, oh, that's...
Look at that. (audience: Oh!)
(audience laughter)
That's very...
Hot. Hot, Hot.
Oh, a very tall person took that picture.
And then there you are... (audience laughter)
(screams and applause)
So can I tell you about that photo real quick?
Yes, who took that picture and tell us about it.
It was a friend of mine, but...
Butt, butt. (audience laughter)
Butt!
Cause one of my friends' parents hit me,
or one of my friends hit me, who has a kid,
and they were like, "Yo, my daughter just saw this.
and she came to me and was like, "I just saw Justin's butt."
(audience laughter) So I felt bad about it,
and I was like... I just took it down,
cause I didn't want to, like-- - Right.
So you took it down, but then the other, I loved,
because you realized that you shouldn't be naked out on a boat,
and then you put your underwear on,
which I really appreciate.
(audience laughter) You put...
your Ellen underwear on.
Yeah. - That looks good.
Uh huh. (cheers and applause)
(cheers and applause)
So the last time you were here, you were here with Madonna.
Yup. - It seemed she was
flirting with you a lot.
She was, right? - Right?
I felt that. - Yeah.
But then what happened backstage when y'all went backstage?
You guys really want to know? - Yeah.
(screams and applause)
This is just--that's just a PG(parental guidance) version of what went...
I see. I see. (audience laughter)
Now did you hang out with her afterwards or no?
We talked a little bit but we didn't really...we didn't hang.
No. - No.
Okay.
She's too old for you.
(audience laughter) - Yeah, she's...
I mean... I think.
You're not too young for her, but she's too old for you.
(audience laughter)
Who are you dating right now?
Um...
That's the old, nervous,
"take the hat off and fix my hair" move.
Are you dating anyone?
These are nice. - Those are my glasses.
Do you...do you need these? Oh.
Just to read.
No, you can't see far away in them.
I can't see anything.
But see? See? - Oh, oh, this is good.
Yeah, it's just to read. - Wow, maybe I need these.
Yeah. - This is good.
I know! I didn't think I needed glasses until--
This is great.
Pay attention to the dating question.
Sorry. (audience laughter)
Yeah, I didn't think I needed them until I was like,
"How come I can't read?"
I'm single, ladies. - You're single.
All right, good. (screams and applause)
(screams and applause)
And ready to mingle.
"And ready to mingle"? - Yep.
All right, well, there's a lot of girls
that would like to mingle with you.
I'm in a place now... (audience screams)
(audience screams)
I don't know if I'm ready for a relationship right now.
I just want to... They don't want relationships.
They just want to... (audience laughter)
(audience laughter)
They just want to mingle.
So the big hit that... is "Where Are You Now,"
which I love that song, very very much.
Thank you. (imitates music of song)
(audience laughter)
I thought you were going to do the whole thing.
(imitates music again)
You know that's actually my vocal?
They just chopped it up.
Oh, it's not really a synthesizer, it's just that?
No, it's just my vocal. So they pitched it up,
and they like messed with it and stuff.
That's not true. - It's is true.
(audience laughter)
It's not true. - I swear it's true.
Well, why would you swear, and lie, saying, "I swear."
But I'm not lying.
I swear. - Really?
What do you mean?
Ah, see what I did there?
So you got us into "What do you mean, 'what do you mean'?"
So "What Do You Mean" is my new single, by the way, guys.
Yes. (cheers and applause)
(cheers and applause)
And you had...
I... I did one for you.
You were Instagramming a different person
saying "What do you mean? What do you mean?"
And so "What do you mean, what do you mean?" is
about the song "What Do You Mean?"
Yes, yes. - Right?
Which you performed on the VMAs last Sunday.
Yes, ma'am. - Right.
That was the first time performing in a while.
How'd that feel? - It was. It felt so great.
Just to be back up on that stage and just like...
I just feel like I'm so much more comfortable there
than anywhere else, you know?
Well, I'm glad that you're back up on stage.
We miss you. We're ready for that music.
We're ready for that new music.
And uh, who did you write the song for?
I wrote this song for, um...
women in general.
Just all women?
It seemed like it was one specific woman.
It's like, gosh. - Does it rhyme with Malina?
Here's the thing, here's the thing.
Does it rhyme with Malina? - I just never know what...
(audience laughter)
I just never know what women are thinking.
Uh huh. - 'Cause they're just like,
they say one thing and they mean another thing,
and they're like, "Do this,"
and then, "No, don't do this,"
and I'm like, "What do you mean?"
(audience laughter) You know?
Or they're like kissing you, and then they push you off of them,
and then I'm like, "But why? What's going on?"
Yeah. - You know?
No, tell me about it. - Yeah.
(laughter and applause)
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【艾倫秀】光著屁股的小賈斯汀來了!(The Biebs on His Bum) (The Biebs on His Bum)

17116 分類 收藏
Vivi Lee 發佈於 2015 年 9 月 18 日    Vivi Lee 翻譯    葉子維 審核
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