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  • Got you.

    懂了!

  • I'm about, I'm about to go out for my interview with Jimmy Fallon.

    我現在要去 Jimmy Fallon 的訪問了。

  • I'll call you back after I comb my hair.

    等我梳完頭髮後會再回電給你。

  • Talk to you in three hours!

    我們三個小時後聊!

  • Wow, I look fantastic!

    哇!我看起來也太棒了吧!

  • No!

    不!

  • "WE" look fantastic and I mean really fantastic.

    「我們」看起來很棒,而我是說真的超棒。

  • Alright, me, we've gotten a big interview with Jimmy Fallon coming up.

    好的,我自己,我們等等有一個跟 Jimmy Fallon 的重要訪問。

  • But let's be honest, Fallon's [is] a lightweight.

    但老實說,Fallon 那個人根本是個小咖。

  • No way he deserves to interview me.

    他才配不上訪問我呢!

  • The only one qualified to interview me, is me.

    只有一個人有資格訪問我,就是我自己。

  • Me interviewing me!

    我來訪問我自己!

  • That's what I call a great idea!

    這才是我說的好主意!

  • Of course it's a great idea!

    當然這會是一個好主意啊!

  • We thought of it.

    這可是我們想出來的。

  • Okay, interview time.

    好的,訪問時間。

  • Question one, are you ready for the Republican debate next week?

    第一個問題,你準備好參加下禮拜的共和黨候選人辯論會了嗎?

  • You know the truth is, I'm always ready.

    你知道的,事實是,我永遠都是準備好的。

  • It's really gonna be a big debate.

    那是真的很大的辯論。

  • But I'm ALWAYS ready.

    但我「總是」準備好了。

  • It's not just big, it's HUGE! Huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge! Huge!

    那不只是大而已,是超大!超大、超大、超大、超大、超大、超大、超大!超大!

  • Next question.

    下個問題。

  • How are you gonna create jobs in this country?

    你要如何在我們國家創造更多工作?

  • I'm just gonna do it!

    我做就是了!

  • Right, right, but how?

    好,好,不過要怎麼做?

  • By doing it, it just happens.

    就做啊,然後就會發生了。

  • Just by doing it!

    做就對了!

  • GENIUS!

    天才!

  • You and, therefore, me are geniuses.

    你,也就是我,根本就是天才。

  • Next question, you said that you'd get Mexico to build a wall at the border.

    下個問題,你說會讓墨西哥在美墨邊界建一座牆。

  • How do you plan to do that?

    你計畫要怎麼達成這件事?

  • Well, since I'm you.

    好的,既然我是你。

  • Why don't you tell me?

    為什麼不由你來告訴我呢?

  • How am I gonna get Mexico to build a wall?

    你說我應該如何讓墨西哥築起一道牆嗎?

  • EASY!

    簡單!

  • I'll challenge them to the biggest game of Jenga ever.

    我會向他們挑戰史上最大的疊疊樂遊戲。

  • I'll make them set up the board.

    我會讓他們先把木板一個個疊起來。

  • And when they finish, I'll say "I don't wanna play anymore."

    然後當他們疊好了,我會說:「我突然一點也不想玩了。」

  • You wanna know something?

    你想知道一件事嗎?

  • That's GENIUS!

    那太天才了!

  • I knew it was.

    我早就知道這很天才。

  • Next question, you recently said, and I quote: "Hedge fund people make a lot of money, and they pay very little tax. I wanna lower taxes for the middle class."

    下個問題,你最近說了一句名言:「那些避險基金人賺了超多錢,而且根本沒繳多少稅。我想要降低中產階級的稅賦。」

  • How else do you plan to help the economy?

    你還會怎麼幫助到整體經濟?

  • Look, I'm really rich.

    聽著,我超有錢的。

  • I know how to run a business and I know thisour country is gonna be well off with me.

    我知道如何做生意,而且我知道我們的國家跟著我會變更好。

  • So here's what I'll do.

    所以這是我會做的。

  • First, we have to cut government spending.

    首先,我們必須砍掉政府支出。

  • It's out of control, totally out of control.

    政府的支出已經失控了,完全失控了。

  • Then we've gotta lower corporate taxes.

    接著我們要降低公司稅金。

  • It's become impossible to do business in this country.

    現在,在美國幾乎不可能經營生意。

  • We've got companies shipping thousands of jobs overseas.

    現在我們有許多的公司都把成千上萬的工作機會送到國外去。

  • That's gotta end, and it's going to end, remember that.

    這必須結束,而且將會結束,記得。

  • It's going to end.

    這將會結束!

  • I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention.

    我很抱歉,我剛剛沒有專心聽你說什麼。

  • I was too busy staring at my beautiful reflection.

    我剛剛忙著看我鏡子裡美麗的樣子。

  • I'm like a Greek god that just took a bath in a pumpkin-spiced latte.

    我就像一個剛剛在南瓜口味的拿鐵裡泡澡的希臘神。

  • Okay, one last question and be honest.

    好的,最後一個問題並請誠實回答。

  • If you win, is your vice president gonna be Gary Busey?

    如果你贏了,你的副總統會是 Gary Busey 嗎?

  • Look, I love Gary, he's fantastic.

    聽著,我很愛 Gary,他真的很棒。

  • But more of a Supreme Court justice in my opinion.

    但是對我來說他比較像是最高法院的法官而已。

  • Vice president's [is] a very serious job, so I'm probably going to go with somebody else, I would say maybe, Kanye West.

    副總統是一個很嚴肅的工作,所以我大概會選其他人,可能是饒舌歌手 Kanye West 吧。

  • Smart move!

    太聰明了!

  • Alright, guess it's time to go out and talk to that dopey goofball Jimmy Fallon.

    好啦,我猜現在我們應該出去外面去跟那個蠢蛋 Jimmy Fallon 談話了。

  • And give him the biggest ratings his pathetic show has ever seen.

    我們來給他這個可悲的秀一次他從沒看過的最高收視吧!

  • How do you think it's gonna go?

    你覺得這會怎麼樣呢?

  • It's gonna be really classy.

    我覺得會很有品味。

  • It's gonna be really fantastic.

    肯定會很棒。

  • It's gonna be HUGE!

    一定會驚天動地!

  • Start the music!

    放音樂!

Got you.

懂了!

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