Aaah, I just got my eye a little bit.

嗚啊！我不小心弄到眼睛了。

(funky music)

(放克音樂)

I know nothing about eyeliner, and just the idea of it terrifies me.

我對眼線液完全不了解，而且光是這三個字就把我嚇著了。

Maybe girls wear it to hide their eye boogers?

也許女生是為了把眼屎遮住才畫眼線的？

I think girls wear eyeliner just because it kind of makes your eyes pop.

我認為女孩畫眼線是因為眼線讓他們的眼睛比較明亮突出。

What if I just open my eyes wider?

那如果我就把眼睛張大一點呢？

Is now a bad time to tell you I have a phobia of being stabbed in the eye?

我現在還來不來得及告訴你，我對於眼睛被戳到深感恐懼？

Yeah, this looks pretty classic.

對，這看起來很經典。

This is what I am used to seeing on women.

這是我經常在女性們的眼睛上看到的畫法。

I'm supposed to do this?

我應該這麼做嗎？

(bleep)

(消音)

Not going to be much classic look after I'm done with this.

在我完成之後這一定不會很好看。

How do I approach this part?

我要怎麼畫這區？

Do I close the eye, or do I open it?

我是要閉著眼睛還是張開？

Oh God. My hand is shaking.

我的天阿！我的手一直在抖

Oh. (bleep)

噢。(消音)

Can you see this? I'm literally crying right now.

你可以幫我看看嗎？我真的要哭了。

(laughing)

(大笑)

Is it supposed to connect with my eyebrow?

這本來就應該跟我的眉毛相連嗎？

I'm going to look like a raccoon after this.

我完成後一定看起來像隻浣熊。

Oh man, this is not going good.

噢，這真的不太樂觀。

Golly, this is (bleep) terrifying, man.

天啊這真的 (消音) 好可怕呀，兄弟。

Why do they have to make it look like a (bleep) needle?

為什麼他們要把這玩意弄成針狀？(消音)

Handlebar eyeliner, yeah!

太好了，八字鬍眼線！耶！

Like I'm, aah! Like I'm dangerous.

好像我，啊！好像我很危險一樣。

Oh man, it's sticking.

喔我的天，這好像黏住了。

Yep. That's it.

對，這就對了。

Oh (bleep), I look pretty as (bleep)!

噢！我看起來還真漂亮！(消音)

Damn.

可惡。

I don't know how you do this, ladies.

真不知道女人們怎麼做的。

I can't, I'm not even to the hard one.

我無法，我甚至還沒到困難的部分。

I'm on the classic one, and I am bawling.

我還在嘗試經典版的，就在流眼淚了。

Oh, is there an under, too?

噢，還有下排嗎？

Nice one. Fishtail?

好樣的，魚尾線？

Even if I did this correctly, this picture is stupid.

即使我把這個畫好了，這真的很蠢。

Who wants parentheses next to their eyeball?

誰會想要有一個括號在眼球旁邊？

This one's like, sexy.

這個很性感。

This is the club look.

這大概是夜店風吧！

This one is like, you're going out, you're trying to get some dxxx.

這個像是，你要出去玩，想約 X。

And I like dick too, so hopefully this helps.

我也想啊，所以希望這對我們有幫助。

I can't see.

我看不見了。

I used to watch my mom put on her eyeliner in the mirror and I never thought I would have to do that same activity.

我以前常常看我媽畫上眼線，我從沒想過有一天我也會做同樣的事。

Oh no. I didn't connect them somehow.

噢不，我沒辦法把它們連起來

Why am I having so much trouble with this?

為什麼我都沒辦法把這個弄好呢？

How do you guys do this so easily?

你們怎麼那麼輕易就完成了？

It's all about relaxation.

放輕鬆是關鍵。

If you get panicked, you're going to (bleep) your line up.

只要你一緊張起來，你就會毀了 (消音) 這條線。

(laughing)

(大笑)

This is my eyeball's way of saying, please don't do this anymore.

這是我的眼球在表達「請別再對我做這種事了」的方法。

My girlfriend does this in the car in the mirror while I am bumping around in traffic.

我女友常對著車上的鏡子這麼做，通常車子總是顛簸著。

I can't believe she does this.

我真不敢相信她能在那種情況下畫眼線。

This is amazing.

這實在太神奇了。

Then I add the little fishtail down there, and then it turns into blue tears.

接著我在這下面加上了小小的魚尾，然後它幻化成藍色的眼淚。

Boom. That's my fishtail.

成功，這就是我畫的魚尾。

This looks terrible.

這看起來很糟糕。

I think I'm done.

我想我完成了。

Like I don't think I can improve this.

我已經盡力了。

(laughing)

(大笑)

I don't like that one as much, and it's probably because I just did a shitty job.

我不太喜歡那種，雖然可能是因為我畫得很爛的緣故。

I don't feel pretty anymore.

我覺得我變得一點都不美了。

Didn't go too well. Let's put it that way.

這麼說好了，這很不順利。

I look like I got punched in the face.

我的臉看起來就像被人揍了一拳

This is what happened.

就是這麼一回事。

It looks so good on the paper.

這在紙上明明看起來還不錯。

It does make you look sexier though. I will say.

這真的讓你看起來更性感了，老實說。

Just like even the way this looks a hot ass mess, I feel a little bit more like, jazzy.

也就是說雖然這看起來有些亂七八糟，我反倒覺得滿奔放的。

(bell ringing)

(鈴聲)

(funky music)

(音樂)