Well, it's because you're kind of a (meow sound effect).

其實是因為你有點... ...(有請喵喵音效)

When Chuck Norris peels an onion,

當查克·諾里斯(美國電影演員)剝洋蔥時

he doesn't cry, the onion does.

哭的不是他，哭的是洋蔥呢!

I have a little trick for you that's called,

有個小秘密，那叫做

science.

科學

Sure, it's not real,

這當然不是真的

but with its confusing big words and so-called facts,

不過當這個字「事實」一出現

people believe this stuff.

人們就會相信了

global warming, even gravity.

地球暖化、甚至重力

It's not real, people.

各位，這就不是真的了。

So tell your friends this is why onions make you cry,

所以告訴你的朋友們，為什麼洋蔥讓你哭了

because they're judging you.

因為洋蔥們在對你指指點點呢!

We all are.

彼此彼此

See, onions absorb sulphur from the Earth's soil,

洋蔥從土壤中吸收硫礦物

which they then convert into amino acids

硫礦物再轉換成胺基酸

known as sulphoxides,

也就是氧硫化物

and these sulphoxides are highly volatile.

氧硫化物的揮發性很強

Think Kanye West at an award show, any award show.

就當作是肯伊·威斯特(美國的饒舌歌手)在一場頒獎秀，每一場都一樣

When you chop into an onion,

當你把洋蔥切開

it releases a lachrymatory factor synthase enzyme.

它揮發出一種催淚的合成酶

These enzymes react with the sulphoxides

合成酶和氧硫化物在洋蔥內

within the onion and convert them into sulfenic acids,

相互起作用，然後轉化成胺基酸

which are highly unstable, like Lindsay Lohan unstable.

胺基酸相當不穩定，和琳賽·蘿涵(美國女演員)一樣

So unstable they transform themselves into a compound

也因此轉換成一種合成物

that no one can pronounce, syn-Propanethial-S-oxide.

我想沒有人會知道怎麼念: 順式-丙硫醛-S-氧化物

This pesky combination of sulfuric acid, sulphurdioxide,

胺基酸、氧硫化物和硫化氫棘手的組合

and hydrogen sulfide interacts with the air around your eye.

剛好在眼睛周圍的空氣相互作用

You cry.

你就哭了

You're no.

你並不是...

It's just the magic of science.

只因為這是科學的魔力