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You're welcome.
You're welcome.
You're welcome
Look, I know everyone's all up in arms about the comments I made about Megyn Kelly after last week's GOP debate.
which, by the way, I won easily.
(laughter)
I was fantastic. The ratings were huge!
Anyway, yesterday I called Megyn Kelly to personally not apologize.
When I said blood was coming out of her wherever, I obviously meant nose and ears.
If you think I was talking about something else, you're a deviant.
(laughter)
I was not referring to hormones or menstruation.
Period.
(laughter)
Anyone who thinks otherwise is a total deviant.
It's amazing how the media loves to twist my words and viciously attack me.
It happens all the time.
Like last week, when I said that my wife, Melania, had the best melons in the world,
of course I meant her honeydew melons.
Which, by the way, can't be beat.
Only a deviant would think I was talking about her boobs.
(laughter)
Which, by the way, are classy and fantastic.
(laughter)
On the other day, when I said to...
that Carly Fiorina had too much junk in the trunk,
I was obviously talking about the amount of stuff she keeps in the back of her Hyundai Sonata.
It's like a Costco back there.
She has a...
She has a case of those giant cans of juicy-juice.
You know, the ones you have to open with a can opener on both sides.
I prefer juice drinks that don't come in a paint can, okay?
Deviant.
For last month, when I said I'd love to have a foursome with Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, and Nicki Minaj
I was simply talking about golf.
Which also explains why I said I'd love for them to wash my balls.
Deviant.
Deviant, okay?
Or when I said that me and Gary Pusey like to do it doggy style
I just meant
I just meant that sometimes I'll toss a frisbee, and he'll catch it in his mouth like a dog.
What else could that possibly mean?
Deviant
Twisting my words
And finally, when I said I love fat Tony's big, greasy sausage and couldn't wait to get it in my mouth,
How could you not know I was talking about my local butcher Tony Esposito
and his quality made products
Deviants.
(applause)
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to the campaign trail and pounce on Bush.
What?! Deviants! Deviants! Deviants!
Cue the music
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【吉米秀】吉米神扮演川普,為自己的失言「洗白」! (Donald Trump Clarifies Megyn Kelly Comment)

25614 分類 收藏
Charlene Tai 發佈於 2015 年 8 月 22 日    葉子維 翻譯    Charlene Tai 審核
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