ś [ imitating guitar, drums ] don't do that, okay ?

ś hey, jude-- ś just stop it, okay ?

I mean, it's really been a shitty birthday for me.

No offense, but I don't need a serenade right how.

What's wrong ? You didn't get anything good, or--

I didn't get shit. Not even a "happy birthday."

My whole family just sort of blew it off.

I'd freak if my family forgot my birthday. It's a brand-new year.

I'm 16. Everything should be platinum.

I should be happy, right ? Right ? Yeah.

Well, I can't get happy.

It is physically impossible for me to get happy.

Would you feel better if you knew one of my secrets, or--

Don't gross me out.

No, we're not talking gross here.

No. It's-- it's just embarrassing.

[ exhaling ] this information cannot leave this room, okay ?

It would devastate my reputation as a dude.

No problem.

[ clears throat ]

I've never bagged a babe.

I'm not a stud.

[ giggling ]

I got the rep in sixth grade.

And it, like, it stuck with me.

I'm still on hold.

Look, I'd appreciate you not laughing here, okay ? [ laughing ]

I'm sorry.

That's not what I meant.

I meant--

Hey, time out, junior. [ horn honking ]

[ exhales ]

Pardon me.

It's okay.

I meant that it's okay that you did it once,

But I didn't mean for you to do it again !

I'm sorry.

[ sighing ] sorry.

You know, just now I really felt how much you like me.

You're probably zoning in on my brain waves or something.

Well, not really. I felt it on my leg.

Come on, I don't want to see it !

Oh.

Sorry if I embarrassed you.

I'm not embarrassed.

Fresh breath's a priority in my life.