Yay:

Welcome to The Birthing Center:

In this birthing class,

we are going to help you new mommies and daddies,

and our mommies and mommies, Iesbian Iovers:::

No: No:

:::prepare for that marathon of Iabor:

Quick question before we start:

How many of you are planning on doing natural childbirth?

That's a good show of hands: That's so great, you're alI so great:

And how many of you are planning on using toxic Western medications

to drug your baby for your own selfish comfort? Anyone?

(WHOOPING)

Now this, this is the Lexus of strolIers:

Got an iPod adapter, Ieather trim: Check that out, feel that:

Back of your hand, back of your hand:

Now, what's the first word you think of when you think of strolIer?

Baby:

Okay, what's the second word you think of?

Infant: No:

It's "top of the Iine safety features:" Check this out:

I'II take it: