inside of which is a boy, actually it's hot water.

裡面是一個小男生喔，好啦其實是熱水。

Motherhood!

各位媽媽們！

Who doesn't want to have a baby?

誰不想有個小寶寶呢？

He hates looking at me.

他討厭一直看著我。

I prefer dogs over babies.

比起小寶寶我比較喜歡狗。

I think the hardest part about being a mom,

我覺得當媽媽最困難的地方，

is loving the thing

就是要無條件地愛上那些

that's ruining your life unconditionally.

搗亂你生活的事情。

(baby crying)

(寶寶正在哭)

And for us as four guys, there's no way for us

對於我們這四個男人來說，根本沒有辦法讓我們

to truly understand what it's like.

真正去了解當一位母親是怎樣的感覺

Ow! Oh! Ah!

噢！噢！噢！

But we're gonna try.

但我們正準備去嘗試。

This isn't how much babies really weight, is it?

這不是寶寶真正的重量對吧？

How heavy is this?

這多重阿？

How much weight should we put into our pregnancy bellies?

我們應該要放多少重量到我們的懷孕裝？

About 25-30 lbs, but remember that's at the end, at term.

大概25~30磅，不過要記住，這是最後快生產的時候的重量。

What are these, are these the baby's balls?

這些是甚麼，該不會是寶寶的蛋蛋？

Probably more likely to simulate

比較可能是用來刺激，

a baby just pushing into your organs.

就像寶寶在踢你的內臟一樣。

This already hurts.

這樣已經會痛了。

Every time, a woman talks about a baby kicking,

每次女生談到寶寶正在踢腿，

it's like a magical thing, but does it hurt?

就好像是很不可思議的事情，但會痛嗎？

Oh! (laughing)

喔！(笑)

It feels like a punch or a kick,

這感覺就像被打一拳或是被踢一腳，

and you get a few jolts every now and then.

而且你三不五時會被寶寶重擊。

It feels like I'm a marine suiting up for battle.

我感覺好像是一位正在整裝準備打仗的海軍。

I can't keep my hands off my body.

我的手沒辦法離開身體。

Oh, ow!

噢噢！

Already, I'm feeling a strain on my lower back.

我已經感覺的我的下背緊繃起來了。

Strong back, strong baby.

強壯的背肌，強壯的寶寶。

I'm already tired.

我已經累了。

I'm out of breath from wearing it and talking.

穿著這個講話已經快喘不過氣了。

It's warm.

溫溫的欸。

Oh Lord, this heat!

主阿，這熱度！

The warm sack is just heating

這溫溫的袋子正在加熱

up my entire body temperature.

我全身的體溫。

The baby's heavier, it's pressing on things.

隨著寶寶變得更重，寶寶就會壓迫都其他東西上。

You have cellulite, stretchmarks and you're big.

你就會有脂肪團、妊娠紋而且你會變很大隻。

It's harder to move around.

移動會變更困難。

It's hard to sleep.

睡覺也是。

Varicose veins and you get hemorrhoids.

你還會有靜脈屈張和痔瘡。

What are some of the positives?

有沒有甚麼好處阿？

The baby.

寶寶。

How much pizza do I get to eat?

我待會可以吃多少披薩？

Even though this is very uncomfortable,

即便這裝備非常不舒服，

I think baby's are a beautiful thing.

我還是覺得有寶寶是非常美麗的一件事。

It's nice to know that your body wants to destroy you.

知道你的身體想要摧殘你真是太棒了。

I can't imagine doing anything in this.

我沒辦法想像在這狀況下做任何事。

Like all I wanna do is just sit down.

好像我想做的事情就只有坐著休息。

It's a big shift.

這是非常大的變化。

Your center of gravity has changed.

你身體的重心整個變了。

So you suddenly have all this mass in the front.

整個重量突然跑到你的前面。

Pregnant woman sleep on their sides?

懷孕的女生都側睡嗎？

I'm going to roll on this side.

我要轉向這邊。

Nope!

喔不！

Oh, this is awful!

噢，這太糟了！

Those little balls are digging into my ribs.

那些小球正在戳我的肋骨。

Not my balls, the balls in the bag.

不是我的蛋蛋，是袋子裡的球。

Not my bag, the bag on my stomach.

不是我底下的那個袋子喔，是我肚子上的袋子。

Let's see if I can get out of bed.

來試看看我是不是可以離開床。

How do they do it?

媽媽們到底怎麼做到的？

Isn't the point of lying down, supposed to be to relax?

躺下的重點是不是要放鬆？

I don't know how a mom-to-be gets any rest.

我不知道準媽媽要怎麼休息。

That was the most painful thing I've done today.

這是我今天做過最痛的事了。

Getting dressed is a lot harder.

穿衣服更是困難許多。

Definitely before I came here,

肯定的是在我來這裡之前，

I probably put on like four different dresses,

我大概套上四件不同的洋裝，

and I was like, "Nope, doesn't fit."

然後我的反應大概就像：呼~這穿不下。

I keep getting trapped in everything I put on.

不管我穿甚麼我都一直卡住。

I underestimated how big this belly was.

我低估這肚子的大小了。

My boobs look amazing though!

不過我的胸部看起來很驚人！

I feel like the worst thing would be

我覺得最糟糕的事情應該是

having to buy another wardrobe,

我全部的衣服都得重買了，

because all of your clothes wouldn't fit you.

因為所有你原來的衣服都會穿不下。

Does it make my butt look good?

這件有沒有讓我的屁股看起來更傲人？

What am I doing wrong?

我做錯甚麼了嗎？

Why are you laughing at me?

為甚麼你一直笑我？

Simply 15 minutes,

僅僅15分鐘，

at eight or nine months pregnant has been a disaster

體驗八、九個月的身孕真是個災難。

My mom, she was pregnant with three kids,

我的母親，她懷過三個孩子，

and every time, she still wore high heels.

而且每次懷孕，她還是繼續穿高跟鞋。

I couldn't see my feet or my crotch that well,

我沒辦法清楚的看到我的腳和胯下，

so adjusting my pants was kinda difficult.

所以穿好褲子變得有點困難。

I understand now, that being a pregnant lady's

我現在知道當一位懷孕的女性

super hard, can we stop?

超級困難，我們可以停止了嗎？

No we're not.

不，我們不會這麼做。

But you can see my balls in this.

可是你可以看到我蛋蛋在這裡面阿。

I think it's nice to empathize

我認為能和孕婦產生共鳴

with a pregnant woman, but it really is

是一件好事，但這真的是

a complete physiologic change.

生理上相當大的變化。

Not only just how you feel physically,

不僅僅是因為會痛而有生理上的感覺

'cause it hurts, but mentally.

，還有心理上的感覺。

I have to go!

我得走了！

Number one or number two?

小號還大號？

You should go in that side.

你應該進去這邊的。

You know I'm just going to hold it.

你知道的，我要憋住。

As I entered from my first

當我從懷孕的頭三個月

to my second trimester, there was

進入三到六個月時，好像有個

this deep demon like hunger inside of me.

飢餓的小惡魔在我的體內一樣。

I'm going to McDonald's.

我要去麥當勞。

How come?

為甚麼？

(beep). This is why.

xxx。這就是理由。

Two orders of Chicken McNuggets.

兩份麥克雞塊。

You only need 300 calories extra a day.

你一天只需要多攝取300卡路里就夠了。

(beep) it, I want 20 pieces.

去x的，我要20塊麥克雞塊。

Careful with weight gain.

小心體重增加。

We really encourage exercise.

我們很鼓勵孕婦運動。

It's 91 degrees outside and I'm miserable.

現在外面華氏91度，我感到很難受。

Nailed it.

你說對了。

Once I'm down here, I can't get back up.

我一蹲下就沒辦法再起來了。

A stronger core will help support the uterus,

有強壯的核心肌群可以幫助你支撐子宮，

and will help with back pain.

而且對背痛也有幫助。

Go back, go back, go back.

回去，回去，回去。

No! It hurts. Then go back.

不！很痛。然後走回去。

Yoga, crunches.

瑜珈、捲腹。

I'm in severe pain. - Inhale.

我現在很痛，-吸氣。

Balance. Graceful.

維持平衡，要優雅。

What's that feel like?

感覺怎麼樣？

It's bouncing all over the place.

肚子到處亂彈阿。

Pregnant Yoga! I'm not having a good time.

孕婦瑜珈！我過得有點痛苦。

Just to have to make that big adjustment,

就是得做很大的調適，

it's not my life anymore, it's our life.

這不再是我自己的生活了，是我和寶寶的生活。

I can't imagine having to deal with this

我沒辦法想像自己得應付

for over nine months.

超過九個月的懷孕生活。

I think I understood this maternal protectiveness,

我想我能理解母親想保護小孩的感覺了，

because I am dealing with so much (beep).

因為我正面對這麼多的鳥事。

if anybody tries to (beep) with me, how (beep) dare you.

如果有任何人想和我xx，你xx怎麼敢。

Yeah, but this is just the beginning.

是阿，不過這只是剛開始。

We haven't even had the baby yet.

我們甚至還沒有寶寶呢。

It only lasts

這些只會持續

for a certain amount of time.

一陣子而已。

It really is a beautiful thing, and it's gonna make you

懷孕真的是一件很美麗的事情，而且它會讓你

appreciate your body so much more.

更珍惜自己的身體。

I've had like such a hard day,

我已經喜歡上這艱困的一天了。