IT SHOULDN'T BE ABOUT THAT.

IT SHOULD BE

ABOUT COMPANIONSHIP,

AND FELLOWSHIP, AND SHARING."

GIRLS, IF YOUR HUSBAND

WAS INTERESTED IN COMPANIONSHIP,

FELLOWSHIP, AND SHARING,

HE'D HAVE GOTTEN

A GOLDEN RETRIEVER.

>> [audience laughing]

>> Mark: HE'S INTERESTED

IN THIS,

AND HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE.

THAT'S THE WAY GOD WIRED MEN.

BUT WHAT MEN FAIL

TO UNDERSTAND IS,

THE KEY TO THIS...

IS THIS.

AND IF A MAN

SUCCESSFULLY TOUCHES THIS,

SHE GIVES HIM THE GREEN LIGHT,

AND NOW HE CAN TOUCH THIS.

>> [audience applauding]

>> Mark: SO THIS SEX DRIVE,

GUYS, IS GOD'S WAY

OF CONSTANTLY REMINDING A MAN--

AND IT KEEPS COMING BACK.

LIKE, IT NEVER STOPS.

YOU KNOW, JUST--

[imitates machinery]

ON AVERAGE,

A MAN WILL FEEL

THE NEED FOR SEXUAL RELEASE

ABOUT EVERY 72 HOURS.

THAT'S EVERY THREE DAYS.

SOME MORE, SOME LESS.

"MY HUSBAND'S

EVERY 72 MINUTES."

BUT, UH, THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM.

BUT ANYWAY--

BUT SERIOUSLY, THE REASON

THAT KEEPS COMING BACK

IS TO MOTIVATE THE MAN:

"BE NICE TO THE GIRL."

IT'S NOT SO YOU CAN JUST GO,

"HEY, YOU AWAKE?"

A LOT OF GUYS DO THAT.

AS SOON AS THEY FEEL THE BUZZ,

THEY'RE JUST REACHING

FOR THE GIRL.

"COME HERE, BABY.

COME HERE. COME HERE."

DON'T BE A MORON.

SHE WON'T WANT TO COME HERE.

THE REASON THAT BUZZ

HITS YOU AGAIN--

"REMEMBER: BE NICE TO THE GIRL.

BE NICE TO THE GIRL.

BE NICE TO THE GIRL.

BE NICE TO THE GIRL.

I GOTTA BE NICE TO THE GIRL."

AND THIS IS WHAT MOTIVATES ME.

I TRY TO BE NICE

TO MY WIFE, AND I'LL--

I SPEND TIME WITH HER.

I TAKE HER TO LUNCH EVERY DAY,

AND I'LL TAKE HER SHOPPING.

"WELL, PASTOR MARK,

DO YOU LIKE GOIN' SHOPPING?"

NO, I HATE IT.

YOU KNOW, SHE DROPS ME OFF

AT THE BENCH

WITH ALL THE OLD GUYS,

AND I SLEEP WITH THEM.

YOU KNOW, JUST--

>> [audience laughing]

>> Mark: AND SHE COMES,

PICKS ME UP,

DROPS ME OFF AT ANOTHER BENCH.

>> [audience laughing]

>> Mark: YOU SAY,

"WELL, IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT,

WHY DO YOU DO IT?"

I'LL TELL YOU WHY:

BECAUSE I WANT SOME OF THIS.

>> [audience applauding]

>> Mark: I'M NO IDIOT.

YOU GOTTA BE NICE TO THE GIRL.

YOU GOTTA PAY ATTENTION

TO THE GIRL.

AND, REALLY, SINGLE WOMEN--

I DON'T KNOW

HOW MANY SINGLE WOMEN

ARE WATCHING THIS,

BUT INEVITABLY

THERE'S A SINGLE WOMAN HERE,

AND THAT'S GREAT,

AND A LOT'LL BE WATCHIN' THIS.

BUT, YOU KNOW,

WHEN A WOMAN GIVES A MAN

THIS BEFORE MARRIAGE,

SHE IS A NITWIT

OF ASTRONOMICAL PROPORTIONS.

THAT'S A--

YOU WOULD NEVER BUILD A HOUSE

AND PAY THE CONTRACTOR

IN ADVANCE.

ARE YOU HEARIN' ME?

GETTING-- IF YOU'RE BUILDING

A $250,000 HOUSE,

WHICH HERE IN PHOENIX

WILL GET YOU

A ONE-BEDROOM WITH NOTHIN'.

UH.

MAN, I GOT A HUGE CONDO

ON THE LAKE, IN WISCONSIN,

FOR $250,000.

MAN, I'M TELLING YOU,

HERE YOU GOT NOTHIN'!

BUT ANYWAY, YOU WOULDN'T PAY

THE GUY IN ADVANCE

AND GIVE HIM-- "HERE!

HERE'S THE $250 GRAND."

DO YOU KNOW WHY?

THE HOUSE WILL NEVER GET

DONE ON TIME.

HE'LL NEVER DO

WHAT HE'S PROMISED TO DO.

WHY? 'CAUSE IT'S JUST

THE NATURE OF HUMAN BEINGS.

YOU PAY 'EM

AS THEY HIT CERTAIN MARKS.

CERTAIN THINGS ARE ACCOMPLISHED,

YOU FINISH IT.

[audio unclear]

AND THEN YOU WAIT

'TIL EVERYTHING'S RIGHT,

AND THEN YOU CLOSE. WHY?

BECAUSE THAT'S

THE WAY PEOPLE ARE WIRED.

IF YOU WERE JUST

TO GIVE IT TO HIM,

YOU WOULD BE A NITWIT, A MORON.

THAT'S WHAT

WOMEN ARE DOING TODAY.

THEY'RE COUGHING THIS UP FRONT,

WHICH IS EVERY MAN'S BASIC,

FUNDAMENTAL INTEREST

IN A WOMAN.

YOU'VE ALREADY GIVEN HIM

EVERYTHING HE WANTS.

AND THEN

THEY SIT AROUND AND SAY,

"WELL, AREN'T YOU

GONNA MARRY ME?

AREN'T YOU GONNA

SPEND MORE TIME WITH ME?

AREN'T YOU GONNA--"

[chatters]

>> [audience laughing]

>> Mark: NO, HE'S NOT.

"WHY WON'T--"

BECAUSE YOU'RE AN IDIOT!

THAT'S WHY. DON'T DO THAT--

GIVE HIM THAT THING.

YOU MAKE THAT BOY EARN IT.

>> [audience laughing]

>> Mark: "IF THERE

AIN'T NO RING,

YOU AIN'T GETTIN' THE THING,"

IS WHAT YOU NEED TO TELL HIM.

SERIOUSLY, GIRL.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT--

THERE'S SOMETHING

THAT REALLY HAPPENED

IN THE FEMALE CULTURE.

I THINK IT'S 'CAUSE

OF THE WOMEN'S LIB THING,

AND THEY THINK,

"WELL, NOW WE CAN GO OUT,

AND WE CAN BE AS SEXUAL AS MEN,"

AND STUFF LIKE THAT.

BUT THEY ARE FIGHTING

AGAINST THEIR OWN INTEREST.

THERE ARE MILLIONS

OF WOMEN IN AMERICA TODAY

THAT ARE SO FRUSTRATED.

THEY CAN NEVER GET THIS.

THEY CAN NEVER GET THIS.

YOU KNOW WHY?

BECAUSE THEY'RE DUMB.

I'M SERIO--

I DON'T MEAN IT IN A MEAN WAY,

BUT THEY'RE DOING A DUMB THING

BY JUST COUGHING THIS UP

TO EVERY GUY THAT COMES ALONG,

THINKING-- IT DOESN'T

WORK THAT WAY.

IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY.

NOW, EVERY MAN--

EVERY WOMAN'S BASIC INTEREST

IN A MAN IS THIS.

WHAT A LOT OF WOMEN

FAIL TO RECOGNIZE IS,

THE KEY TO THIS IS THIS.

>> [audience laughing]

>> Mark: AND IF YOU TOUCH THAT,

HE GIVES YOU THE GREEN LIGHT,

AND YOU CAN TOUCH THIS.

"I THOUGHT YOU SAID,

WOMEN WEREN'T SUPPOSED

TO DO THAT."

OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE.

INSIDE OF MARRIAGE,

YOU GOTTA WORK AT THIS.

OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE,

YOU DEFEAT YOURSELF.

BUT INSIDE A MARRIAGE,

YOU HAVE TO REALIZE,

THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT DEAL.

IT IS! IT'S HUGE.

A LOT--

>> [audience laughing]

>> [men cheering]

>> Mark: A LOT OF WOMEN

TREAT THIS LIKE A SIDE ISSUE.

IT IS NOT

A SIDE ISSUE IN MARRIAGE.

IT IS THE CENTRAL ISSUE.

IT TRULY IS.

AND I'M GONNA EXPLAIN THIS

IN GREATER DETAIL TOMORROW.

YOU GET THIS RIGHT,

THINGS WILL FLOW A LOT BETTER

IN YOUR LIFE.

YOU TRY TO DISCARD THIS,

"OH, IT SHOULDN'T BE

ABOUT THAT,

AND HE SHOULDN'T BE

INTERESTED IN SEX.

HE'S A PIG. BLEAH!"

YOU ARE FIGHTING NOW

AGAINST YOUR OWN INTERESTS,

DOING IT THAT WAY.

YOU'VE GOTTA BE SMART

ABOUT THIS, GIRLS.

THE KEY TO THIS BOY'S HEART.

YOU KNOW, THEY USED TO SAY,

WHEN I WAS GROWING UP,

THAT THE KEY--

THE KEY TO A MAN'S HEART

WAS HIS STOMACH.

UH, BUT THEY WERE

ABOUT SIX INCHES TOO HIGH.

>> [audience laughing]

>> Mark: AND THIS IS IMPORTANT.

I GOTTA TELL YOU, GIRLS,

IF IT WASN'T FOR THIS,

WE PROBABLY WOULDN'T DEAL

WITH Y'ALL.

>> [audience laughing]

>> Mark: I KNOW

THAT SOUNDS TERRIBLE.

BUT I'M JUST TELLING YOU

LIKE IT IS.

YOU KNOW?

YOU TAKE THAT OFF, MAN,

I DON'T THINK WE'D GO

THROUGH THE TROUBLE, HONESTLY.

THIS IS A GAME

YOU GOTTA LET HIM KNOW

HE CAN WIN WITH YOU.

AND WE'LL TALK MORE ABOUT THIS

IN DETAIL TOMORROW.

BUT THE CRAZY THING

ABOUT IT-- SEE?

THE KEY TO WHAT YOU WANT:

HERE'S THE DOOR.

AND FOR THE GUYS,

WHAT YOU WANT: HERE'S THE DOOR.

AND IT IS

THE PERFECT STAND-OFF.

IT IS THE ULTIMATE STAND-OFF.

PEOPLE SAY, "WHY?

WHAT WAS GOD THINKING?"

PEOPLE SAY THAT

TO ME ALL THE TIME.

"WHAT WAS GOD--"

THIS IS EXACTLY

WHAT GOD WAS THINKING:

THE KEY TO YOU GETTING

WHAT YOU WANT

IS TO GIVE YOUR SPOUSE

WHAT THEY WANT.

NOW, IT'S NOT EASY.

AND SOMETIMES,

YOU'LL MESS UP.

BUT, YOU KNOW,

YOU GOTTA CONSTANTLY WORK

FOR THIS.

YOU CAN'T,

ALL OF A SUDDEN, DISREGARD THIS.

SOME GUYS, YOU KNOW,

THEY NEVER PAY ATTENTION

TO THEIR GIRL.

THEY'RE NEVER NICE TO THE GIRL

AND WONDER, HOW COME

THEY NEVER GET ANY SEX?

"OH, I NEVER GET ANY SEX.