Okay, real quick.

好吧，就看一下。

Oh, you have a new puppy.

喔，你養了一隻新小狗。

I guess you gotta cuddle something.

我猜你總要找個東西依偎。

You teach elementary school kids.

你在小學教書。

You're teaching them how not to be like you?

你是要教他們怎麼不變成跟你一樣的人嗎？

And you're spending a lot of time with...Robert.

你現在花很多時間和...Robert 在一起。

Who the hell is Robert?

Robert 是誰？

It's only been six weeks.

我們才分了六個禮拜。

Rollerblading along the beach?

沿著沙灘溜直排輪？

That was our thing.

這是我們之間才會做的事。

So what? He volunteers at an animal shelter.

他在動物收容所當志工，所以呢？！

Get a real job, asshole.

找份像樣的工作，混蛋。

That jawline has plastic surgery written all over it.

他的下巴一看就是整過的。

Great, he cooks.

很好，他會做菜。

You said Indian food gave you gas.

你說過印度食物會讓你脹氣。

You hike now.

你現在會爬山。

You're a hiking couple.

你們是對會登山的情侶。

Oh, and he is one of those assholes that hikes without his shirt on.

喔，他也是那種喜歡赤裸上身爬山的混蛋。

Of course, he plays guitar.

他當然會彈吉他。

What next? He has the voice of an angel?

接下來是什麼？他有天使般的歌喉？

(Joyful all ye nations rise) Asshole. Still an asshole.

（美國歌手 Ray Price－Hark The Herald Angels Sing）混蛋。還是一個混蛋。

"Had a blast with my...cousin."

「和我的...表哥玩得很開心。」

They're cousins.

他們是表兄妹。

He seems cool.

他感覺是個滿酷的人。