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  • You're looking at a woman who was publicly silent for a decade.

    你看到的是一個 對公眾沉默了十年的女人。

  • Obviously, that's changed,

    顯然情況已經改變了,

  • but only recently.

    但那只是最近的事。

  • It was several months ago

    幾個月前,

  • that I gave my very first major public talk

    我首次發表大型公開演說,

  • at the Forbes 30 Under 30 summit:

    那是在「富比世 30 青年」高峰會上:

  • 1,500 brilliant people, all under the age of 30.

    1,500 位全是 30 歲以下的聰明人。

  • That meant that in 1998,

    這意謂著在 1998 年,

  • the oldest among the group were only 14,

    這群人之中最年長的只有 14 歲,

  • and the youngest, just four.

    而最年輕的只有 4 歲。

  • I joked with them that some might only have heard of me

    我和他們開玩笑說,

  • from rap songs.

    有些人應該只有在饒舌歌裡 聽過我的名字。

  • Yes, I'm in rap songs.

    是的,我在饒舌歌裡出現。

  • Almost 40 rap songs. (Laughter)

    將近 40 首饒舌歌。(笑聲)

  • But the night of my speech, a surprising thing happened.

    不過我演講的那晚, 發生了令人驚訝的事。

  • At the age of 41, I was hit on by a 27-year-old guy.

    41 歲的我 被 27 歲的小夥子搭訕了。

  • I know, right?

    我知道,很驚人吧?

  • He was charming and I was flattered,

    他很迷人,我也很開心,

  • and I declined.

    但我婉拒了。

  • You know what his unsuccessful pickup line was?

    你知道他的失敗搭訕台詞 是什麼嗎?

  • He could make me feel 22 again.

    他可以讓我感覺回到 22 歲。

  • (Laughter) (Applause)

    (笑聲)(掌聲)

  • I realized later that night, I'm probably the only person over 40

    那個晚上我意識到 我可能是唯一年過 40,

  • who does not want to be 22 again.

    卻不想再回到 22 歲的人。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • (Applause)

    (掌聲)

  • At the age of 22, I fell in love with my boss,

    我 22 歲那年, 愛上了我的上司;

  • and at the age of 24,

    24 歲的時候,

  • I learned the devastating consequences.

    我嘗到了毀滅性的後果。

  • Can I see a show of hands of anyone here

    在座有以下情況請舉手:

  • who didn't make a mistake or do something they regretted at 22?

    有人 22 歲的時候從未犯錯, 或從未做過後悔的事嗎?

  • Yep. That's what I thought.

    沒錯,和我想的一樣。

  • So like me, at 22, a few of you may have also taken wrong turns

    就像我 22 歲的時候一樣,

  • and fallen in love with the wrong person,

    你們之中有些人也做了錯誤的選擇,

  • maybe even your boss.

    愛上錯的對象,

  • Unlike me, though, your boss

    甚至可能是你的上司。

  • probably wasn't the president of the United States of America.

    但是不像我,你的上司

  • Of course, life is full of surprises.

    大概不會是美國總統。

  • Not a day goes by that I'm not reminded of my mistake,

    當然,生活中處處都有驚喜。

  • and I regret that mistake deeply.

    不會因為時間流逝 就沒人提起我犯的錯,

  • In 1998, after having been swept up into an improbable romance,

    我對那個錯誤深感後悔。

  • I was then swept up into the eye of a political, legal and media maelstrom

    1998 年,我被捲入一場 不太可能發生的愛情之後,

  • like we had never seen before.

    我又被捲入政治、法律 和媒體漩渦的核心之中,

  • Remember, just a few years earlier,

    就像我們從未見過似的。

  • news was consumed from just three places:

    要記得,僅僅在那之前幾年,

  • reading a newspaper or magazine,

    你只會從三個地方看到新聞:

  • listening to the radio,

    讀報章雜誌、

  • or watching television.

    聽廣播,

  • That was it.

    或是看電視。

  • But that wasn't my fate.

    這就是所有的方式了。

  • Instead, this scandal was brought to you

    但我的命運不只是如此。

  • by the digital revolution.

    相反地,這個醜聞透過數位革命

  • That meant we could access all the information we wanted,

    傳遞給各位。

  • when we wanted it, anytime, anywhere,

    這意謂著我們可以 獲取任何想要的訊息,

  • and when the story broke in January 1998,

    只要我們想要了解的時候, 任何時間、任何地點都能看到。

  • it broke online.

    因此當那個故事 在 1998 年一月披露的時候,

  • It was the first time the traditional news

    就在網路上爆發了。

  • was usurped by the Internet for a major news story,

    那是第一次傳統新聞

  • a click that reverberated around the world.

    因為一則重要新聞故事 被網路篡位,

  • What that meant for me personally

    一個點擊就能在世界各地造成迴響。

  • was that overnight I went from being a completely private figure

    而這件事對於我個人的意義在於:

  • to a publicly humiliated one worldwide.

    一夜之間我從一個普通人

  • I was patient zero of losing a personal reputation

    成為一個被全世界公開羞辱的人。

  • on a global scale almost instantaneously.

    我幾乎是轉眼間就成為在全世界

  • This rush to judgment, enabled by technology,

    失去個人名譽的頭號病人。

  • led to mobs of virtual stone-throwers.

    這種透過科技的批判浪潮,

  • Granted, it was before social media,

    帶來了一大夥虛擬的批判暴民。

  • but people could still comment online,

    就算這件事是在社群媒體出現之前,

  • email stories, and, of course, email cruel jokes.

    但是人人都可以在網路上評論,

  • News sources plastered photos of me all over

    透過電子郵件寄送故事,當然還有,

  • to sell newspapers, banner ads online,

    透過電子郵件寄送殘忍笑話。

  • and to keep people tuned to the TV.

    新聞消息來源到處張貼我的照片,

  • Do you recall a particular image of me,

    賣給報紙、網路上的小廣告,

  • say, wearing a beret?

    讓大家繼續看電視。

  • Now, I admit I made mistakes,

    你有沒有想起我的某一張照片,

  • especially wearing that beret.

    比如說,戴著貝雷帽那張?

  • But the attention and judgment that I received, not the story,

    現在,我承認我犯過的錯誤,

  • but that I personally received, was unprecedented.

    尤其是戴著那頂貝雷帽。

  • I was branded as a tramp,

    但是那些針對我的關注和批評, 不是針對故事,

  • tart, slut, whore, bimbo,

    而是針對於我個人的關注和批評 史無前例。

  • and, of course, that woman.

    我被貼上淫婦、

  • I was seen by many

    妓女、蕩婦、娼妓、笨女人的標籤,

  • but actually known by few.

    當然還有「那個女人」。

  • And I get it: it was easy to forget

    很多人見過我,

  • that that woman was dimensional,

    但是只有少數人認識我。

  • had a soul, and was once unbroken.

    然而我知道:大家很容易忘記

  • When this happened to me 17 years ago, there was no name for it.

    那個女人曾有軀體、

  • Now we call it cyberbullying and online harassment.

    有靈魂,而且曾完整無缺。

  • Today, I want to share some of my experience with you,

    這件事 17 年前發生在我身上的時候, 還沒有專有名詞形容它。

  • talk about how that experience has helped shape my cultural observations,

    現在我們稱為 網路霸凌或者網路騷擾。

  • and how I hope my past experience can lead to a change that results

    今天,我想和大家分享一些我的經歷,

  • in less suffering for others.

    說說那個經歷如何幫我 塑造我的文化觀察,

  • In 1998, I lost my reputation and my dignity.

    還有我多麼希望 過去的經歷能帶來改變,

  • I lost almost everything,

    讓更少人遭受苦難。

  • and I almost lost my life.

    1998 年,我失去了 我的名譽和尊嚴。

  • Let me paint a picture for you.

    我幾乎失去一切,

  • It is September of 1998.

    也幾乎失去了我的生活。

  • I'm sitting in a windowless office room

    讓我為各位描繪一幅圖像。

  • inside the Office of the Independent Counsel

    那是在 1998 年九月,

  • underneath humming fluorescent lights.

    我坐在一間沒有窗戶的辦公室裡,

  • I'm listening to the sound of my voice,

    位在獨立檢察官的辦公室內,

  • my voice on surreptitiously taped phone calls

    頭頂上的日光燈嗡嗡作響。

  • that a supposed friend had made the year before.

    我聽著自己的聲音,

  • I'm here because I've been legally required

    我在秘密錄音電話裡的聲音,

  • to personally authenticate all 20 hours of taped conversation.

    那是原以為是朋友的人 在前一年錄的音。

  • For the past eight months, the mysterious content of these tapes

    我在這裡是因為法令上要求

  • has hung like the Sword of Damocles over my head.

    我要親自證明這 20 小時 錄音對話的真實性。

  • I mean, who can remember what they said a year ago?

    在那過去八個月,這些神秘的錄音內容

  • Scared and mortified, I listen,

    像一把達摩克利斯之劍 懸在我的頭上。

  • listen as I prattle on about the flotsam and jetsam of the day;

    我是說,誰記得他們一年前說了什麼?

  • listen as I confess my love for the president,

    我窘迫且驚恐地聽著,

  • and, of course, my heartbreak;

    聽著我聊一天中的雜事;

  • listen to my sometimes catty, sometimes churlish, sometimes silly self

    聽著我承認對總統的愛,

  • being cruel, unforgiving, uncouth;

    當然還有,我的傷心事;

  • listen, deeply, deeply ashamed,

    聽著我有時狡詐、有時無禮、 有時很愚蠢的自己,

  • to the worst version of myself,

    變得冷酷、無情、粗魯;

  • a self I don't even recognize.

    聽著,感到深深、深深地慚愧,

  • A few days later, the Starr Report is released to Congress,

    對於我最差的一面,

  • and all of those tapes and transcripts, those stolen words, form a part of it.

    那個連我自己都認不出的自己。

  • That people can read the transcripts is horrific enough,

    幾天之後,史塔報告送進國會,

  • but a few weeks later,

    還有所有的錄音帶和抄本, 那些偷來的文字成了其中一部分。

  • the audio tapes are aired on TV,

    那些人們可以閱讀的抄本 已經夠恐怖了,

  • and significant portions made available online.

    但是幾週之後,

  • The public humiliation was excruciating.

    錄音帶在電視上播出,

  • Life was almost unbearable.

    而且重要的部分還被放在網路上。

  • This was not something that happened with regularity back then in 1998,

    公開羞辱讓人非常痛苦,

  • and by this, I mean the stealing of people's private words, actions,

    生活幾乎讓人難以承受。

  • conversations or photos,

    這在 1998 年的時候 可不是一件尋常的事情,

  • and then making them public --

    透過這點,我是指 竊取人們的私人言論、行動、

  • public without consent,

    對話或圖片,

  • public without context,

    然後公開一切——

  • and public without compassion.

    未經同意就公開,

  • Fast forward 12 years to 2010,

    沒有交代來龍去脈就公開,

  • and now social media has been born.

    而且毫不留情地公開。

  • The landscape has sadly become much more populated with instances like mine,

    時間快轉 12 年到 2010 年,

  • whether or not someone actually make a mistake,

    現在社群媒體誕生了。

  • and now it's for both public and private people.

    到處都可悲地充斥著 和我一樣的例子,

  • The consequences for some have become dire, very dire.

    不管這個人是不是真的犯了錯,

  • I was on the phone with my mom

    而且現在這是公眾人物 和一般平民都會有的遭遇。

  • in September of 2010,

    結果對一些人來說 變得殘忍,非常殘忍。

  • and we were talking about the news

    有天我和母親通電話,

  • of a young college freshman from Rutgers University

    那是在 2010 年九月的時候,

  • named Tyler Clementi.

    當時我們在討論

  • Sweet, sensitive, creative Tyler

    關於羅格斯大學一位新生的新聞,

  • was secretly webcammed by his roommate

    他的名叫泰勒.克里蒙提。

  • while being intimate with another man.

    親切、感性、有創造力的泰勒

  • When the online world learned of this incident,

    曾被室友用網路攝影機偷拍,

  • the ridicule and cyberbullying ignited.

    當時他和男生正在親密互動。

  • A few days later,

    當網路世界知道了這個事件,

  • Tyler jumped from the George Washington Bridge

    嘲笑與網路霸凌一觸即發。

  • to his death.

    幾天後,

  • He was 18.

    泰勒從喬治華盛頓大橋跳下,

  • My mom was beside herself about what happened to Tyler and his family,

    因此喪命。

  • and she was gutted with pain

    他當時才 18 歲。

  • in a way that I just couldn't quite understand,

    我的母親對泰勒 和他家人的經歷非常驚訝,

  • and then eventually I realized

    她既傷痛又震驚,

  • she was reliving 1998,

    用一種我無法理解的方式悲慟,

  • reliving a time when she sat by my bed every night,

    最後我才終於意識到

  • reliving a time when she made me shower with the bathroom door open,

    她再次經歷了 1998 年,

  • and reliving a time when both of my parents feared

    再次經歷她每夜 坐在我床邊的那個時候,

  • that I would be humiliated to death,

    再次經歷她讓我 開著浴室門洗澡的那個時候,

  • literally.

    再次經歷我的父母都很害怕

  • Today, too many parents

    我可能因為羞辱而死的那個時候,

  • haven't had the chance to step in and rescue their loved ones.

    真的是這樣。

  • Too many have learned of their child's suffering and humiliation

    如今,太多的家長

  • after it was too late.

    沒有機會介入或營救自己的摯愛。

  • Tyler's tragic, senseless death was a turning point for me.

    很多家長知道孩子 感到痛苦和羞辱的時候

  • It served to recontextualize my experiences,

    都已經太遲了。

  • and I then began to look at the world of humiliation and bullying around me

    泰勒悲劇、沒有意義的死亡 對我來說是個轉折點。

  • and see something different.

    這件事讓我用新觀點 檢視我的經驗,

  • In 1998, we had no way of knowing where this brave new technology

    然後我開始去看這個 在我身邊充斥羞辱和霸凌的世界,

  • called the Internet would take us.

    去看不一樣的事物。

  • Since then, it has connected people in unimaginable ways,

    1998 年,我們沒有辦法了解 這個名為「網際網路」的美好新科技

  • joining lost siblings,

    會帶我們到什麼境界。

  • saving lives, launching revolutions,

    那之後,它以難以想像的方式 聯繫著人們、

  • but the darkness, cyberbullying, and slut-shaming that I experienced

    找到失散的手足、

  • had mushroomed.

    拯救生命、發動革命,

  • Every day online, people, especially young people

    但黑暗面是,我經歷的 網路霸凌和蕩婦羞辱

  • who are not developmentally equipped to handle this,

    也開始快速成長。

  • are so abused and humiliated

    每天在網路上的人, 尤其是年輕人,

  • that they can't imagine living to the next day,

    他們還沒發展健全到 能處理這樣的事件,

  • and some, tragically, don't,

    他們被虐待、羞辱

  • and there's nothing virtual about that.

    到無法想像明天的生活,

  • ChildLine, a U.K. nonprofit that's focused on helping young people on various issues,

    不幸的是還有些人沒能多活一天,

  • released a staggering statistic late last year:

    而這些卻根本不是虛擬的事。

  • From 2012 to 2013,

    英國非營利組織「兒童熱線」 致力於幫助年輕人各種問題,

  • there was an 87 percent increase

    去年底發布了一項驚人數據:

  • in calls and emails related to cyberbullying.

    2012 年到 2013 年之間

  • A meta-analysis done out of the Netherlands

    增加了 87% 的

  • showed that for the first time,

    電話和電子郵件網路霸凌。

  • cyberbullying was leading to suicidal ideations

    一份來自荷蘭的整合分析

  • more significantly than offline bullying.

    最早指出

  • And you know what shocked me, although it shouldn't have,

    網路霸凌引起的自殺念頭

  • was other research last year that determined humiliation

    遠比非網路霸凌來得更為嚴重。

  • was a more intensely felt emotion

    而讓我震驚的是 ──雖然這也是預料中的事──

  • than either happiness or even anger.

    去年的另一項研究認定羞辱

  • Cruelty to others is nothing new,

    是一種強烈的情緒感受,

  • but online, technologically enhanced shaming is amplified,

    比快樂甚至憤怒來得更強烈。

  • uncontained, and permanently accessible.

    殘酷對待他人不是什麼新鮮事,

  • The echo of embarrassment used to extend only as far as your family, village,

    但是在網路上, 羞辱透過科技會變本加厲、

  • school or community,

    失去控制,而且會永久存在。

  • but now it's the online community too.

    原本尷尬的迴響 只會存在家庭、村里、

  • Millions of people, often anonymously,

    學校或社區裡,

  • can stab you with their words, and that's a lot of pain,

    但現在也會在網路社群迴響。

  • and there are no perimeters around how many people

    幾百萬人,通常是匿名,

  • can publicly observe you

    可以用他們的話刺傷你, 讓你非常痛苦,

  • and put you in a public stockade.

    而且無數人不分遠近

  • There is a very personal price

    可以公開觀察你、

  • to public humiliation,

    讓你置身在公開的牢籠裡。

  • and the growth of the Internet has jacked up that price.

    公然羞辱的代價因人而異,

  • For nearly two decades now,

    而網路的發展提高了這個代價。

  • we have slowly been sowing the seeds of shame and public humiliation

    將近二十年來,

  • in our cultural soil, both on- and offline.

    我們慢慢播下羞恥與公然羞辱的種子,

  • Gossip websites, paparazzi, reality programming, politics,

    在我們的文化土地上, 不論是網路上或下了線。

  • news outlets and sometimes hackers all traffic in shame.

    八卦網站、狗仔隊、 真人實境秀、政治、

  • It's led to desensitization and a permissive environment online

    新聞報導和一些駭客 都在販賣羞恥。

  • which lends itself to trolling, invasion of privacy, and cyberbullying.

    這導致麻木不仁 以及放縱的網路環境,

  • This shift has created what Professor Nicolaus Mills calls

    導致網路成為惹是生非、 侵犯隱私、網路霸凌的環境。

  • a culture of humiliation.

    這個轉變形成了 尼古拉斯.米勒教授所說的

  • Consider a few prominent examples just from the past six months alone.

    羞辱文化。

  • Snapchat, the service which is used mainly by younger generations

    想想單是過去六個月發生的重大案件。

  • and claims that its messages only have the lifespan

    Snapchat(閱後即刪的應用程式) 主要用戶為年輕世代,

  • of a few seconds.

    這個程式聲稱裡面的訊息壽命

  • You can imagine the range of content that that gets.

    只有幾秒鐘。

  • A third-party app which Snapchatters use to preserve the lifespan

    你能想像會收到什麼類型的內容。

  • of the messages was hacked,

    使用者用來延長 訊息壽命的第三方軟體

  • and 100,000 personal conversations, photos, and videos were leaked online

    被駭客攻擊了,

  • to now have a lifespan of forever.

    十萬人的私人對話、 照片、影片被洩漏在網路上,

  • Jennifer Lawrence and several other actors had their iCloud accounts hacked,

    而現在這些東西就會永存於世。

  • and private, intimate, nude photos were plastered across the Internet

    珍妮佛.勞倫斯和幾位演員的 蘋果雲端帳號被駭客攻擊,

  • without their permission.

    私密照和裸體照 被放在網路上到處散布,

  • One gossip website had over five million hits

    卻沒經過他們的允許。

  • for this one story.

    單是一個八卦網站 就有超過五百萬人次點閱

  • And what about the Sony Pictures cyberhacking?

    這個事件。

  • The documents which received the most attention

    索尼影像被駭客攻擊的事呢?

  • were private emails that had maximum public embarrassment value.

    那些備受關注的文件 是私人電子郵件,

  • But in this culture of humiliation,

    這些信件將公開讓人難堪的代價 放到最大。

  • there is another kind of price tag attached to public shaming.

    但是在這個羞辱的文化中,

  • The price does not measure the cost to the victim,

    有另外一種價格標籤 貼在公開羞辱上。

  • which Tyler and too many others,

    它的價格不在估計受害者的損失,

  • notably women, minorities,

    比如泰勒和許多人,

  • and members of the LGBTQ community have paid,

    尤其是婦女、少數民族,

  • but the price measures the profit of those who prey on them.

    和非異性戀者所付出的,

  • This invasion of others is a raw material,

    而是計算那些掠奪者的利益。

  • efficiently and ruthlessly mined, packaged and sold at a profit.

    侵犯他人的行為是原料,

  • A marketplace has emerged where public humiliation is a commodity

    有效率、無情地挖掘, 然後包裝、販賣獲利。

  • and shame is an industry.

    當公開羞辱成為商品、 恥辱成為產業的時候,

  • How is the money made?

    市場就此浮現。

  • Clicks.

    那錢是怎麼產生的呢?

  • The more shame, the more clicks.

    點閱。