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(GASPS)
How many of you are blamers?
How many of you, when something goes wrong,
the first thing you want to know is whose fault it is?
Hi. My name is Brené. I'm a blamer. (LAUGHTER)
I need to tell you this quick story, so this was a couple of years ago
when I realised the magnitude to which I blame.
I'm in my house. I have on white slacks and a pink sweater set,
and I'm drinking a cup of coffee in my kitchen - it's a full cup of coffee.
I drop it on the tiled floor.
It goes into a million pieces, splashes up all over me.
And the first... I mean a millisecond after it hit the floor,
right out of my mouth is this: damn you Steve.
(LAUGHTER)
Who was my husband.
Because let me tell you how fast this works for me.
So Steve plays water polo with a group of friends.
And the night before, he went to go play water polo.
And I said, "Hey, make sure you come back at ten. Cause you know I can't fall asleep until you're home."
And he got back at like 10:30, and so I went to bed a little bit later than I thought.
Ergo, my second cup of coffee,
that I probably would not be having had he come home when we discussed.
Therefore... (LAUGHTER)
And so, the rest of the story is, I'm cleaning up the kitchen.
(PHONE RINGS) Steve calls.
Caller ID. I'm, like, "Hey."
He's like, "Hey. What's going on, babe?" "Huh. What's going on?"
Um... (LAUGHTER)
"So I'll tell you exactly what's going on.
I'm cleaning up the coffee that spilled all..."
Dial tone!
(LAUGHTER) Cos he knows.
How many of you go to that place, when something bad happens,
the first thing you want to know is whose fault is it?
I'd rather it be MY fault than no one's fault. Because why?
It gives us some semblance of control.
But here, if you enjoy blaming, this is where you should stick your fingers in your ear
and do the "nanana" thing, cos I'm getting ready to ruin it for you.
Cause here's what we know from the research.
Blame is simply the discharging of discomfort and pain.
It has an inverse relationship with accountability.
Accountability, by definition, is a vulnerable process.
It means me calling you and saying,
"Hey my feelings were really hurt about that." And talking, not blaming.
Blaming is simply a way that we discharge anger.
People who blame a lot
seldom have the tenacity and grit to actually hold people accountable,
because we've spend all of our energy raging for 15 seconds
and figuring out whose fault something is.
Blaming's very corrosive in relationships.
It's one of the reasons we miss our opportunities for empathy.
Because when something happens and we're hearing a story,
we're not really listening.
We're in the place where I was -
making the connections as quickly as we can about whose fault something was.
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我衰爆了!都是你的錯! (Brené Brown on Blame)

31660 分類 收藏
Ray Du 發佈於 2017 年 11 月 9 日   林曉玉 翻譯   Amber 審核

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vidtalk

1
go wrong0:12
影片例句:How many of you, when something goes wrong, the first thing you want to know is whose fault it is?
例句翻譯:有多少人,每當發生一些不好的事,你第一時間必須要知道是誰的錯?

something goes wrong 就是某件事出錯了,可以加上一些副詞來加強程度 goes horribly wrong。
The wedding went horribly wrong, they sent the wrong groom to the bride.
婚禮出了大差錯,他們把新郎送錯了。



2
ergo1:09
影片例句:Ergo, my second cup of coffee, that I probably would not be having had he come home when we discussed.
例句翻譯:所以,我的第二杯咖啡,如果他準時回來我應該就不用喝了。

ergo 是拉丁文,意思是 therefore。在一般對話其實不常用。


3
I'd rather1:50
影片例句:I'd rather it be MY fault than no one's fault. Because why?
例句翻譯:我寧可是我自己的錯,也不要怪人。為什麼?

I’d rather 是 I would rather,就是我「寧願」做什麼事 to do something else instead。如果想要婉拒人的話也可以說 I’d rather not。
I’d rather go shopping than stay at home all day.
我寧可去血拼也不要一整天呆在家裡。



4
figure out2:45
影片例句:Because we've spend all of our energy raging for 15 seconds and figuring out whose fault something is.
例句翻譯:因為我們花盡力氣暴怒15秒,想要知道是誰的錯。

figure out 的 figure 是數字,figure out 就是把數字都弄清楚,所以就是「搞懂」的意思。比起 understand something 只是單純懂,figure something out 更有一種努力弄懂的過程。
Johnny has got his life all figured out.
Johnny 完全清楚自己人生的目標。



5
corrosive2:49
影片例句:Blaming's very corrosive in relationships.
例句翻譯:責怪他人很傷感情。

corrosive 是從 corrupt 來的,意思是「有腐蝕性的」。同義字有 harmful、detrimental、damaging 等。不過 corrosive 就像是字面上敘述的一樣,是嚴重的傷害。
Jealousy is corrosive to newfangled love.
嫉妒對於感情初期來說是很具傷害性的。

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