These are your friends and family, the people who matter, who love you, who make life worth living.
And these are the people you spend all your time with.
The six co-workers you'll have.
You're like Jim and Pam.
Yeah, let's pretend that's the perfect example for workplace romance.
Oh, okay, well, at least your ears work better than your dick.
One night, you finally work up the courage.
Remember when you saw "Thor: The Dark World" on a plane and thought it was your favorite movie for months until you watched it at home and realized you didn't love it？
Yeah. You'll be taking the long way to the break room for a few weeks.
Drunken mistakes aren't the only office hazard. There isn't just one species of creep.
There's a whole spectrum, and your local variety may differ by climate, available prey, and proximity of J. crew outlet.
[Preppy Creep] You're free Friday night?
Because my dad got an open tab at the yacht club.
[Regressive Asshole Creep] Please, a dame only gets paid less if she can't keep up with the men around her, or she's ugly.
[Too-Touchy Too-Feely Creep] You know Janice carries a lot or tension on her shoulders, too.
I think it's your tense.
The new guy.
Right when you're wondering if you can still call yourself the recent college graduate, he shows up.
Who is this guy?
His diet would put you in a coma.
Yet he still seems to have endless energy.
Oh, hey. what'd you do last night?
Nothing too crazy. Shots at beauty bar then danced until 2 a.m. and called it an early night, you?
I watched Shark Tank then went to bed.
The worst part is, if you see him like that, how does he see you?
I miss the 90s...
Maybe you should work harder.
Maybe you need to be like...
He thinks the word machiavellian is a compliment.
He's not contented just work, he wants to rule.
My lord, these expense reports from Cynthia in marketing.
Do they not seem embroided?
Perhaps I should be the one to go to the kingdom of Philadelphia for the sales conference in her stead.
I promise I will secure the favor of house Tampax.
Of course, ambition is a double-edged sword.
And so is this.
I thought the sales rep really like me! Please, don't take my f***ing spot!
Well, back to forty years of hard labor.
Not everybody considers this job an opportunity, for some, it's a life sentence.
Mommy numbed me after college. I was driving back from my six Burning Man, and I needed that money, man.
Oh, worst mistake of my life.
She spends all her time talking about what she's going to do when she finally gets out of this place.
You know what will be fun, a private plane or do you know like in the local Wall Street.
The irony is, when prisoners do finally get their freedom, they usually have no idea what to do with it.
Hi, yes, do you still rent the place with a rotating bed? Well, most of them, anyway.
Oh, quick question. Is cocaine legal yet? Oh, what a shame!
You're different, though.
You want to enjoy your job, but you don't wanna let it define you
Now tell me more about this Snapchat. You want to like the people you work with but some distance is nice, too.
The color purple.
And I mean the actual color purple not the one with Oprah.
The key is balance. You decide work and life, personal and professional.
If you're careful, you will make it out of here without any type at all.
Can we notice how she just stares like she's hearing voices or something?
Yeah, total weirdo.
The total weirdo. You.
Hi, I am Ali from CollegeHumor, did you like that video?
Cool, then click here for more videos, or click here to unlock secret features like CollegeHumor videos showing up in your YouTube feed, Or being subscribed to CollegeHumor or turning that red subscribe button into a gray subscribed button.