-I had a great time.

-Me too.

Well, this is me.

[heartbeat]

-What are you two playing at?

-It's not me.

It's-- it's her.

I have first claim on all new prey.

-He's not your prey.

He's my boyfriend.

-And its my castle, so I'll bite who I want to.

Hmph.

-Look, Ingrid.

Perhaps you should stay away from Will.

This close to your transformation

you've got no control over your powers.

-You worry too much.

I meant to do it.

-That's Will again.

Don't answer it.

-He's my boyfriend, and no one is

going to stop me kissing him good night.

If you tell anyone about this, bat-breath,

I will chop off your tongue and feed it to Renfield.

-I think I'm in love.

Read.

-The Staff of Carpathia, a new attraction at Stokely Museum.

Legend has it that one blow from the staff

will cure the curse of vampirism.

Robin, this is brilliant!

-Huh?

Oh yeah.

-Come on.

-Thanks for coming today, Chloe.

I really appreciate it.

-Who couldn't resist the chance to authenticate

a historical artifact like the staff?

-Out of everyone I know, just you.

-Oh, map!

-I don't suppose Ingrid--

-She thought you were Will.

Get over it.

-I know, but.

-Shh.

Right, so we're here, and the staff is there.

Anyone know which way to go?

Good.

-It's this way.

-I'd go with her.

She's usually right.

-When I suggested a family day out,

this isn't quite what I had in mind.

-Well, on a Sunday in Stokely, it's

either the museum or the bowling alley.

-Oh, well I like bowling.

-I'm banned.

There was a theme night.

Some of the staff were dressed up as vampires.

You don't want to know the details.

-Some of these exhibits

-Calm down, Jonno.

They're not real.

-Are you sure it was the count?

-Yes.

-I knew it.

He's out to destroy the Staff of Carpathia.

-Well, you can't go after him.

Mum will go mad.

-Leave your mother to me.

Honestly, Jon.

You're getting a bit old for that, aren't you?

-What's this?

-Jonathan wants to play hide and see in the museum

like we did when he was little.

All right.

Just this once.

Count to 100 and come and find me.

-I don't know.

Screaming at the exhibits?

Playing hide and seek?

We're going to have to toughen you up a bit.

-It's down there and left at the severed head.

-Ugh.

It really smells like the plague in here.

-It's sort of familiar though.

-Moldy cabbage with a hint of toejam.

-Yeah.

Week old armpit sweat.

-Renfield.

-Put those rats down.

-What rats?

Ow!

Ow, ow, ow, ow ow.

-What are you doing here?

-Nothing.

-Where's dad.

-I lost him.

Um-- but he's definitely not here,

and we're not after the staff.

-If your dad's after the staff--

-That means it's got to be for real.

Thanks, Renfield.

-Please, don't tell Master.

You forced it out of me.

Ow!

-Oi, Ozzy Osbourne.

Keep away from the exhibits.

-You may address me as Count.

-Oh?

Really?

Well, Count, rules is rules.

Now back off.

Oi.

I told you.

Stay away from the exhibits.

Go on then.

[bell rings]

-Cool.

Who says I can't control my powers?

[bell rings]

Isn't anyone going to get that?

COUNT: Put that down.

-How did he--

COUNT: I said, put it down.

-What did I-- Where are you?

[chuckling]

COUNT: I'm in your body, you fool.

-You seriously expect me to believe that?

COUNT: Look in the display cabinet.

[screaming]

[bell ringing]

-Do I have to do everything around here?

To be opened by Count Dracula only.

In your dreams.

-Leave that alone.

You should have seen your face.

You'll regret that, you mangy mutt.

-The staff's still here.

-So's my dad.

Dad?

Dad?

-Sorry, Vlad.

I think your dad's dead.

-Well, of course, he is.

He's been dead for 600 years.

This is an old vampire party trick.

Their lifeforces can leave their bodies.

-So he could be anywhere?

-Pretty much.

He'd never for far, unless he was in trouble.

I have to find him.

You two look after his body.

-Body?

We'll have to move him.

-I'm not touching it.

-Where do you hold a vampire?

-80, 81--

-Shouldn't you be counting to 105 or something?

-I always give him loads of time.

He's rubbish at hiding.

-I know.

I would always find my Christmas presents.

-Mum?

-Mhm?

-You going to be

-Of course, now that your dad's given up that vampire nonsense.

He has given it up, hasn't he?

-Yeah.

You know what?

I'm going to stop him-- find him.

-So Daddy's got a brand new throne?

Wouldn't he just hate it if I sit on it first?

-I don't think you should do that.

-Good job it's not up to you then, isn't it, furball?

Now get lost.

Did I just do that?

Sweet.

-Out!

[inaudible] I'm sorry.

I didn't mean-- Or I'll drain all your blood!

[chuckling] Will you stop that?

Sorry.

Ugh!

-What do you mean "ugh?"

Look at me!

I haven't seen my reflection for 600 years!

-That's the face of pure, unadulterated evil!

-Yes, yes.

Obviously.

But look at the bone structure, those brooding eyes!

-We'll just sniff in here for a quick snack.

You'll be elevensies, and you'll be half elevensies.

And then we'll find the Master.

-Get out.

Get out of my body now!

-And where do you suggest I go?

-Him!

You can go into him!

-I would rather be stuck inside a rotting badger.

-What have you done, you--

-Oh dear.

[screaming]

-Dad.

-Dad.

-Oh, this is bad.

-Dad?

What happened?

-The Count's lifeforce is trapped inside me.

So his body's defenseless.

Go to the Staff of Carpathia exhibit and--

-Give him a nice bar of chocolate.

-Bar of chocolate?

-No.

I didn't say that.

It was the Count talking.

I meant-- [stuttering]

-Sing to him.

[laughter]

-No.

-You mean stake him?

-Yes.

-No.

-Yes.

-No.

-Yes!

-Don't even think about it.

-Try and stop me.

-That's my boy.

-J'ai mal a la tete.

-Oh dear.

That bang on the head's turned him French again.

Renfield, go find the staff of Carpathia.

-Huh?

-Allez chercher la Baton de Carpathie, vite.

-Uh-- oui, Maitre.

-I don't even speak French.

-Hm.

You'd be surprised at what you can do now I've moved in.

How do you fancy draining the blood from a large mammal?

[laughter]

-Oi!

No running!

-He's gone.

-Well, I'm going to find him and turn him into dust.

-Not if I find him first.

-I said, no running!

-Doesn't seem right leaving Count Dracula in a boiler room.

-I'll be fine.

Just leave me a bottle of blood-- bottle of blood.

-You do know, his lifeforce could

be looking at you right now.

-Sorry.

-Candles on.

Candles off.

Candles on.

Candles off.

This is so great.

Candles on.

-Hm?

-I am so undead.

-I don't want to say I told you so.

But I told you so.

-Right.

That's it.

I warned you.

-I can't find Vlad anywhere.

Can you smell burning.

-I'm in control, slayer.

-No, you're not you blood-sucking beast.

-There you are.

-Well, hello.

What a joy you are to behold.

-Thank you.

-Jonno not found you yet?

-No, he's-- uh-- he's rubbish at hunting me.

He'll be here just yet.

-Well, I'm starving.

Do you fancy a quick bite?

-Hm.

Always.

-Sorry.

-Hm, my dear.

-You're being very romantic all of a sudden.

I like it.

-I told you I could smell burning.

-Thanks.

-Ou se trouve la Baton de Carpathie?

-Oi.

I'm the French peasant.

You're supposed to be the French aristocrat.

Can't the agency get anything right?

-Ah bon?

Oui.

-Come on.