年輕的德古拉 - BBC系列 - 第二季第4集 "壞反射" (Young Dracula - BBC Series - Season 2 Ep 4 "Bad Reflection")

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[music playing]
-This better be good, Zoltan.
-A note from Mr. Boris, he specifically
requested you wait until--
-Dear Vlad, by the time you read this, I'll be gone.
Blah, blah, blah-- 16th birthday.
Blah, blah, blah-- transformation.
I'm running away.
Sorry, Boris.
[sighing]
-But aren't you going to try and stop him, Master Vlad?
-No need, he won't get far.
[wolf howling]
-Let me out.
Let me out.
[growling]
-Why me?
-Oh, happy birthday.
How far did you get?
-Front gate.
-Oh, not bad.
Better than yesterday, anyway.
-It's all over, Vlad.
In a few hours, I'm going to become
an evil, blood-sucking monster.
And there's nothing I can do about it, unless of course,
you've come up with some ingenious plan
to save me in the nick of time.
-Well, there is this one.
La mange is easy.
We can make that ourselves.
Robin will release the pigeons on cue
here, creating a diversion, while I roller skate past
and switch the mirror.
OK, it sucks.
But we'll think of something else.
There's still time.
-Ah!
-I wouldn't be so sure.
-Knee pads, camouflage jacket, night-vision goggles--
-I thought you were going to a woodwork conference.
-Chisel, spirit level, sand paper, right.
I think that's everything.
-What's this?
-Hm?
No, don't.
ANNOUNCER (ON TV): Want to get your hands
on the latest X-15 rapid-firing crossbow?
These guys just keep letting you down?
You need to go the Annual Vampire Slayers Jamboree,
for a day packed full of fun, education, and most
of all-- slaying.
Only for slayers aged 18 and over,
payment will not be refunded, if you're bitten
and become one of the undead.
-I'll pack my bag.
-No.
You heard what it said-- 18 and over.
-I am.
-Years Jono, not inches.
-This isn't a fair.
Why do I have to miss out on all the good stuff?
-Because one of us needs to stay here and protect
the innocent people of Stokley.
It's a big responsibility, son.
Are you ready?
-I will be, if you show me where the secret headquarters.
-Jono, remember, the first rule of slaying-- patience.
-But what if I--
-It's the most important discipline for a slayer
to master-- stop, wait, and wait some more.
Practice it while I'm gone.
-Stop, wait, and follow Dad.
-Remove the blindfold.
Happy birthday, my son.
-Hey, this is great.
But you really shouldn't have gone through so much--
oh, you didn't.
-That Boris, is the doorway to your destiny.
-I don't suppose you kept the receipt.
-You can do this, Boris.
Just remember to stay focused.
You are not evil.
Say it.
-I'm not evil.
-Again.
-I'm not evil.
-Once more.
-(EVIL VOICE) I'm not evil.
-OK.
We'll leave that for now.
-Way to go, Vlad.
Can you coach me?
-Any last requests?
Yeah, can we do this a different time?
-You're not going anywhere, Doris.
-Come, come.
-No, Dad.
Please don't.
-Now, Robin, do you think Boris would
prefer chocolate or a Victoria sponge?
-I don't think cake is really Boris's thing, Mum.
-A boy his age doesn't want a birthday cake?
He has got blood pumping through his veins, hasn't he?
-Well, actually-- ow!
Dad--
-Mm-hm?
-Can you help me with my homework?
-Hm, of course, sweetheart.
Now then, what's it to be-- spelling or coloring in?
-I've got to perform my psychological evaluation
of a subject, using psychodynamic and cognitive
methods.
-She has study someone's brain and find out
what makes them tick.
-OK, OK.
I'll put the stupid shelf up.
Hm, hey?
Just don't nag me, that's all.
-Listen.
-What?
-Total silence, not a sound since that
scream five minutes ago.
-Numb to sensation-- four letters.
-Dead.
[scream]
That's it.
I'm getting him out of there.
-Enough.
Look, I have every confidence that Boris
will emerge safe and sound.
-Will uh six feet be deep enough, Master?
-Not now, Renfield.
What, what?
[bell]
-Daddy, how much longer is this going to take?
-Depends on how much of a fight he puts up.
-Fight?
No one said anything about a fight.
-Well, if he's strong, it could take all day.
If he's a pathetic, spineless wimp, then--
-Well that answers that.
-Boris, Boris--
-Well, I guess, he didn't make it, such a tragic loss.
-You mean, he's-- he's dead?
-Congratulations!
Or maybe not.
What have I missed?
-Nothing much.
Oh, I broke a nail.
Ugh, and Boris is dead.
-Does that mean I get double allowance, Daddy?
-Well, seeing as you're my only child, yes.
-What is wrong with this family?
Boris is gone.
Doesn't anyone care?
-No.
-Sorry, Vlad.
-Look, if it's only consolation, I never really liked the boy.
He uh lacked the killer instict.
-It's my fault.
I was far too soft on him, If only I'd been--
-Boris?
-Son.
Well, lock up your daughters.
Look at you!
VAN HELSING (ON RECORDING): Memoirs of a Vampire Slayer,
by--
ELECTRONIC VOICE: Please speak now, clearly.
VAN HELSING (ON RECORDING): Eric Van Helsing.
ELECTRONIC VOICE: Voice recognized.
Access granted.
-Let the games beging.
[evil laugh]
-Ah.
[chicken squawking] Bravo, bravo!
-The boy is a prodigy.
It take five years to perfect midflight combat.
He's mastered it in five minutes.
-They were chickens.
They were hardly going to fight back.
-So fetch me a couple of lions.
-My son has the thirst.
-Excellent!
Renfield, saddle the horses and polish my horn.
Tonight, we shall hunt.
-Hunt?
-Horses.
-Daddy, I want a horse.
Get me a horse.
-So does this mean you're evil?
-Vlad, Vlad, Vlad, come on.
It's me, Boris.
I wouldn't hurt a fly.
-Really?
-I remembered what you said.
I stayed focused.
I'm not evil.
I'm not evil.
It works Vlad.
I'm the same Boris I was before.
Only now I'm stronger, braver, and more powerful.
And you will be too.
Just look at what you can become.
To the bat pack-- sorry, men only.
-Go sit on a stake.
Wake up, loser.
It's an act.
You can't possibly believe him.
-Oh, garlic.
-The name's Van Helsing-- Jonathan
Van Helsing, license to slay.
Take this, vampire scum.
Oh, splinter.
-I'm not evil.
I'm not evil.
Want to bet?
Mirror, mirror on the floor, you've given me power.
But I want more.
-Boris!
-Ah, there you are.
Cake's upstairs.
It's not a good time.
Uh I'll come back later.
-You know, you really shouldn't wander
about the castle on your own.
It's not safe for a breather.
VLAD: Boris--
-Just kidding.
-Happy birthday!
-Well, come on then.
Blow out the candles and make a wish.
How on earth did that happen?
VLAD: Strong lungs-- come from playing the tuba.
-Robin!
-If you wanted a slice Robin, you should have just asked.
-But I didn't-- but he--
-Come with me.
Let's get you a towel and a doggy bag.
-I'm not sure if it's safe to leave Mum alone with Boris.
-Of course it is. You heard what he said.
He wouldn't hurt a fly.
[fly buzzing]
[thunder]
-Cool.
[door slams]
-Stop, wait, and wait some more.
-Vlad, about Boris--
-Isn't it great?
All this time, I've been worrying about becoming evil.
And now I don't have too.
-But Vlad--
-If a total wimp like Boris can handle the transformation,
then I'll walk it. [sighing] At last, there's hope.
Sorry, you were saying?
-Nothing, that's great, Vlad.
I'll get you a clean t-shirt.
-Uh no offense-- I don't think your style will suit me.
-That's where you're wrong.
Wait right here.
-You were gonna tell Vlad, weren't you?
-Tell him what?
I don't know anything.
I'm stupid.
-I won't let a breather ruin everything.
-Patience.
-Should be making a move soon.
-Hi-ya, Doris.
-Don't move an inch-- spider.
-Ew, nasty little critters.
You ready to go, Robin?
-Robin's gonna stay for a while, help me out with a few things.
-Yes, master.
-Well, have fun then.
-Um I'm Olga.
Um can I go with you?
I'm sick of this dump.
-Oh, what a good idea.
I've got a daughter your age.
I'm sure she'd love to meet you.
Thanks for the chicken, Boris.
-No problem.
Draw round soon.
-Hello, sweetheart.
This is Olga, Vlad's cousin.
-Oh, you're one of them, are you?
-Well, she's American, if that's what you mean.
Honestly, Chloe, where are our manners?
-Get out.
-Oh, look, how beautiful, how delicate.
-Don't you dare.
-The Rorschach Inkblot Test.
-How did you know that?
-Mom's into all that psycho claptrap.
It's enough to drive you nuts, if you're not already.
-What does this look like?
-Splattered blood.
-Could you be a bit more specific?
-Your splattered blood.
[groaning]
-My boyish good looks and porcelain complexion ruined.
-I can't believe my own son could
be so wicked and deceitful.
-Yes, yes.
When you've quite finished gloating,
maybe you could use your super-sensitive vampire
hearing to find the little snake.
-What?
-I said, you-- oh, never mind, we'll
have to track him down ourselves.
Now, fly.
Fly like the wind.
-You can run, but you can't hide.
INGRID: I wouldn't let Dad catch you sitting there.
-Oh, really?
And why'd that?
-She's right, Master Boris.
Only the Count is permitted to sit on the throne.
-Thanks for the warning, but I don't
take advice from stuffed dogs.
-He's a wolf.
-I wasn't talking to him.
-Ouch.
-You think you're so great.
-Let's see-- I'm charming, devilishly
handsome, cunning as a fox.
Yup, I've pretty much got it all.
Oh, why be modest?
I have got it all.
-You might have Vlad fooled.
But I'm not so stupid.
You're up to something.
-Hey, hey hey, it's the Bat Pack back together.
-Can't believe you're falling for this.
-Just accept it, Ingrid.
Vampires don't have to be evil.
-No, but it is fun.
-I'm going to say a word.
And I want you to say the first thing
that comes into your head.
-Boring.
-No, you have to wait till I've said the word.
-Tedious.
-I haven't started.
-Annoying.
-Wait!
-Irritating.
-Stop it.
-No.
[rumbling]
-There's something rotten in the state of vampiredom.
-That might be me, Mistress Ingrid.
I'm due a bath, ew.
-Life.
-Death.
-Death.
-Boris.
-Happy.
-This is stupid.
-OK, OK.
I'll give you my diagnosis.
Based on your answers, I'd say, you're a very unhappy child.
You feel that your parents don't love you.
And to compensate for this, you're
mean and nasty and cruel.
-It's all true.
I'm a mean, nasty, horrible person.
I'm so ashamed of myself.
-Really?
Some of it was guesswork.
-No, you're right.
I'm going to change, right now.
I'll go back up to the castle, and I'll start being nice.
Thank you, Chloe.
-Hm, glad I could help.
[coughing]
-Sucker.
-Oh, I'm starving.
What are we having?
-I don't know about everyone else,
but you're going to be eating your words.
-You just won't give up, will you?
Give me one single shred of evidence that Boris is evil,
and I'll wear your lipstick to school for a week.
-OK.
How do you explain that?
-Well, he's just being helpful.
It's not like Boris is going running
around like another Renfield.
-Oh, what's that?
-Lavender.
-Oh.
-OK, so he's been having fun with this new powers--
harmless.
You're going to have to do better than that.
-He's been stealing power from the blood mirror.
-He's addicted.
-If he's not hurting anyone, then
what difference does it make?
[coughing]
-Where is he?
-Dad?
-Where's that pig?
Time he was taught a lesson.
-10 to 7:00.
-Master, what's happened?
-Get off me, you vile creature.
-But sire, it's me-- Renfield.
Age has ravaged his poor memory.
-I know who you are, you stinking bag of filth.
Now, pick up my stick!
-Ow!
-I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable
explanation for all of this.
-Ah, ugh!
There he is and sitting on my throne.
You'll pay for this, young whippersnapper.
-Boris obviously didn't know he was draining your power.
Now he does, he'll do the right thing and give it back.
Won't you, Boris?
Boris--
-You're embarrassing yourself.
-Tell them it's possible to be a good vampire,
that you're not evil.
Tell them you're not evil.
-I own this family.
No one can stop me.
I'm the king of the world! [evil laugh]
-Oh, poo.
[creaking]
Think you need to get some practice.
-And I want a giant statue built in my name.
And every Thursday will be renamed Boris day.
And the peasants will bring me a human sacrifice
and bow down before me.
-Awesome, it's queen Doris.
If you need any gloss, just let me know.
-What's wrong with you?
You're killing them.
-Sad isn't it?
Maybe I should put them out of their misery now.
One more fix on the blood mirror, they'll be gone.
I'll reign supreme-- Count Boris, the eternal overlord.
-Eternity's a long time, Boris, all alone, no one to talk to,
no one to tell you how great you are.
-Vlad, you could join me.
Picture it-- the Bat Pack ruling together,
people obeying our every commend,
the power, the glory, the girls.
-Let's do it.
-You wouldn't dare.
-Stay out of this, Ingrid.
On one condition-- we have to be on equal terms.
You have to give me some of your power
now, even things out a little.
-Agreed.
You won't regret this, cuz.
No, what are you doing?
-Big mistake, Boris.
-You will pay for this.
-You'll have to catch me first.
-Impressive, but not fast enough.
[hissing]
-Going somewhere?
Well done, Vlad.
Once again, you've saved the day.
-Uh, no he didn't.
It was me.
-Don't split hairs, Ingrid.
Well, it's been a hideous nightmare, as always, Brother.
You must come and stay again soon.
-Maybe in another couple of hundred years.
-Better make it three.
-Bye, garlic breath.
-Get off me, you little creep!
Oh, and if I were you, I'd take care unpacking your suitcase.
You never know what you might find.
-Ha, knew I'd have the last laugh.
-Psst, Vlad, come here.
-Just want to let you know, when it's your turn,
you'll become just as evil as I am.
Just you wait, you can't escape your destiny. [laughing]
I'll be back.
No one can stop me-- no one. [laughing]
-He's lost it big time.
-I'm not really going to become that evil, am I?
All in good time, Vlady-- all in good time.
[theme music]