No, we're not trying on thongs.

No, well what are we doing?

(guitar music)

- [Keith] We're trying on European swimwear for men.

- I feel like there's gonna be...

Less fabric.

- On a scale of one to manscape,

did zero preparation today.

- This is made for a man

and it just just shows off more of the man.

- I'm excited.

- [Voiceover] This is cute.

- These are very short.

- Very thin fabric, feels nice.

- Look at this little anchor.

Look at me, I'm like a little sailor.

That's fun.

- Oh, my.

- There's always the bunching of my nuts.

- It's like it's giving me a wedgie,

and I think that's on purpose.

- This is gonna burst wide open.

(mimics explosion)

- This is the underwear I was wearing today.

It's just, like, ripping me a new one, here.

- I feel like when I bounce around,

my balls are just gonna schlep right out of the suit.

- Overall rating is a no.

- Flirty, fun.

Europe.

- Hello.

- Aye-yi-yi-yi-yi.

- Hopefully, it will cover my whole ass.

- This is a pocket, like you could keep your money

with your dick.

- Too much clothing, they don't have enough dick space.

Sometimes, you need dick space.

- Oh, no!

Oh, no!

- It looks like when you put your covers

over your dog.

- It's like somebody's holding it.

- Woop!

- This is unshowable.

- Yeah, look at that butt.

- Here he is.

- This is normally not seen by people.

- I like this.

This is great.

This is super revealing, like...

- It looks like a toucan.

- This doesn't feel like it would reduce drag

if I was doing freestyle.

- The separation from your body

allows for really nice swaying.

- This is, like, maybe the closest I've felt like

how a girl might feel, when it comes to,

here's a piece of clothing that's totally

gonna accentuate one area of your body.

'Cause my eyes go directly

to that action.

(laughs)

- [Keith] Speedo!

Whoa!

- You gave me one that's mesh.

You gave me a see-through banana hammock.

- Are you fucking serious right now?

- Oh, I see!

It's very tiny.

- Andrew Christian.

Nothing Christian about this outfit.

- This is like my dick is about to break into

someone's house and steal something.

(hums burlesque-like tune)

- It looks like I'm wearing a sock

on my dick and nothing else.

- That is obviously a penis and balls, isn't it?

Like, you can't, you can't get less penisy or ballsy.

- I don't get paid enough.

- How is nobody gonna chase you out with a broom

if you walk into a place like this.

- It's about this, my mind.

Not my dick pocket.

- But at least I don't have to be seen

in public like this, right?

(bright pop music)

- There's skin on me that has not

seen the sun in a long, long time.

- Well, who takes their thighs outside, really?

- The tightness allows you freedom, because

you know, that you're not gonna pop out.

- No, I think the tightness is just restricting my dick.

- It might be tight because you're dick might be huge.

- Yeah, maybe your dick too big.

- We all know that's not true.

- Do you sunscreen your inner thighs, ladies?

- I'm doing it.

- This is classic hot dog or legs.

- Just hanging out with my best buds,

and got my dicks out,

Eugene's hung over, and we're doing good.

How you doing, Eugene?

- [Eugene] I'm good.

- I do only have a half an hour before

I have to go on a date. - You know, Ned,

I'm starting to think you like hanging out with your wife

more than you like hanging out naked with us.

- I felt uncomfortable, very sexualized.

- [Eugene] I'm still really hungover right now,

so any sort of lack of sports ability I had today,

I'm going to blame on the alcohol.

I don't know what to do.

I'm in a speedo.

- You may not know, just like, from the fact

that we get naked all the time.

But I'm not the most secure about my body.

I have things about me I don't like.

- I felt uncomfortable when I would squat,

'cause I felt like, for sure this is becoming a thong.

- [Zach] So, what women get when they have

like a lot of cleavage, where like a guy walks by

and they go like down-up, oh oh, can't look,

and like you make eye contact with the cleavage

and then back up.

I was walking down the bike path and an old man

made eye contact with my dick and then went, "Dammit!"

- I think we should sort of realize

that culturally Speedos are the majority

of what men wear worldwide.

- That being said, we talk about our dicks a lot.

I can't stop, I mean I'm, like, trying to look at your face,

but I'm looking at your dick right now.

- [Man] Who's dick?

- Well, Keith's dick, 'cause he's more in my line of sight.

But your dick, I can, I've looked at it so many times today.

'Cause it's, the white makes it much more...

Revealing.